Hello, sorry long post.
My husband has addiction problems. We have been married 9 years (together 15) and have had struggles in our marriage as my husband is terrible with money, has had lots of debt previously, he has lied and hidden things from me and i have just found out for the last 6 months he has become addicted to gambling and now has £20,000 debt through getting loans to use for gambling.
We bought our first house last year, and i am worried this is going to impact our mortgage/living situation.
I think he is also addicted to lying. He lies about everything, where he's been, what he buys, what he eats (i don't ask, its what I've found) He has never openly admitted to anything, i have always found evidence of his lies. Each time i have given him the opportunity to admit to any other lies or debt and he says there is nothing else, then i find out there is more months later.
He had a bad upbringing with addict parents and was taken into care and has never had any role models.
He is telling me he now sees he has a problem and is seeking help and putting things in place to stop gambling. He is receiving 1 hour of therapy a week. Being assessed for ADHD.
I have control of our finances. But i have no trust left. I've had a difficult year with losing a parent and being made redundant, and i feel so defeated by this. It has a broken our relationship.
I am finding it hard to understand his addiction. I am just angry and hurt and i don't know if we can get through this. I feel i will never trust him.
Has anyone got any advice from a similar situation?
thank you.Â
Dear Hm15,Â
Thank you for sharing this with the forum, I can see you are worried and concerned about your situation. You are not on your own and there is help for you.
The helpline is available for you 0808 0820133 and can offer referrals for yourself and signposting. Your husband can independently call and seek his own support. Â
If you and your husband would like some advice with debt and money issues as you mentioned his losses contacting Stepchange could be a good thing to do,Â
I can hear that you are struggling with trust in your relationship due to your partners lying, which is very understandable given the situation, but you are also trying everything to support your husband which is an amazing thing to do. Being strong for someone in your family who is suffering gambling harms can be exhausting so I would really like you to start thinking about yourself and looking after you.Â
To be there in the long term for your husband you need to be in a good place, so by putting yourself first and taking care of yourself is helping everyone.Â
please do give us a call on 08080820133 or contact our live chat , whats app or facebook.Â
Take care and I look forward to seeing your future posts.Â
Forum adminÂ
Marie
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