I have had many last days in the last 10 years. Yes, it's crazy making. Today I gambled a few hundred. Out of the blue I went feeling so light and happy and then realizing that I once again created chaos within my already difficult life situation. I was reading online about stages of recovery. One was the exploration stage then early recovery then active recovery. I have not entered active recovery yet I say that I've been in recovery for about 3 years. I am in early recovery for so long. I really want active recovery. Wednesday is the new moon. It's a good time to start anew. I am. I want this Acitive recovery for myself. I still have some money to my name but I have a very minimal job which has me using saved money to live and it is very scarey. I want to use the saved money for security and also to relocate . I want work and I feel complacent. Gambling really dropped me off on the bottom floor and I've chosen to revisit that floor and scrub it many many times over. I know the feeling of moving on then I ruin the harvest and burn the wheat only to end up down on that darn bottom floor scrubbin up my mess. I am into lying again and I thought that I was completely honest. I slipped on many levels. I am ready for active recovery. I have to forgive myself and also believe myself that it can be different this time. thx.
There's ALWAYS the possibility of another level but give yourself a chance. Get some help? Counselling? Group help?
Have you rung Gamcare?
Tri
Hello tara2
Welcome to the forum. It sounds like you have been struggling for a while. People sometimes go back and fourth in their recovery finding their way as they go you are not alone in this. It sounds positive that you feel ready for 'active recovery'. You can if you wish call the advisors on the GamCare helpline 0808 80 20 133 or if you prefer you can use the netline http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/frontline-services/netline#.VkJFgbfhAdU
Advisors will be happy to listen to your concerns and give you further information on counselling and other support available.
Keep posting tara2 we are here to support you
Caroline
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
