Hi
I don’t even know where to start. I’ve been gambling on and off for years, each time it’s the end and I have been to counselling and yet I go back. I’m getting married next year and my fiancГ© has said if it happens again that is it it’s over and I know he means it. My mum has been through it enough times now and I know one more will push her over the edge. They’re at a loss on how else they can support me and have told me if I ever get the urge to call them... yet why didn’t I?!
Me and my fiancГ© are going on holiday in a few weeks and I don’t want to tell him now and ruin it all for him. I feel like telling him again will break it all, break us and him. I don’t think I can tell him, but my worry is him finding out because I have even less money a month to do things now but I think it should be okay... I just need to know why after a year and a bit I had to go back again and do more money again. I know everyone says you have to tell people but how can I when I know it will ruin everything! Feeling so low right now. Just need someone to talk to who knows what this is like that isn’t going to judge me and who knows I mean it when I say I don’t want to do it but it’s something I can’t control. The urge in me to tell him is overwhelming but I don’t want to ruin his life right now
Try not to feel so guilty you done really well to go a year without gambling! You've made a mistake but it doesn't mean you can't get back on track and stop again! Try and stay strong, I find that when I feel guilty and worried about what I've lost I end up gambling again, focus on enjoying your holiday and forgot about what's already done you can't change that now, but you can try and never let it happen again
Thank you, I almost told him just now I need to tell him but I don’t know if I should do it now or after the holiday?!
Id wait so you can say it was a one off an hasn't happened since, he'll probably be proud of you for not spiralling and being honest with him, but I don't really know so do whatever feels right for you
Hi Btapp,
well done for posting on the Forum and being honest about your lapse. Lapses happen, it can be part of the recovery process. I would also recommend you tell your fiance or your mom, make sure it doesn't turn into a cycle of secrets and chasing again. And use the opportunity to step back and analyse what triggered your urges and use it to your advantage going forward. You have worked really hard at your recovery, you have come a long way, keep up the good work.
Well done again for posting and if you feel you would like to talk more, please feel free to call the Helpline on 0808 8020 133 on the Netline here.
All the best,
Eva
Forum Admin
Thank you for your support. In a position where you feel so low and down it helps so much to know someone is listening and there to support.. my urges to tell him have died down for now, but I am not looking at him right now and that’s when I feel like I need to tell him. For him it is about the money, and yes I have put myself back say 2 months to be debt free by end of next year but in my eyes it’s only two months, it isn’t another year plus... but equally I know the issue is the trust. I need to work on the right time but for now I will continue to feel so bad about it and hate myself forever more for it... one thing I know for certain is that there should be a limit on gambling companies in terms of numbers and number of websites, and there should be a cap on the adverts and even a ban on certain ways of gambling because all they do is suck people in. Fed up of going back to it and so many emotions linked with that.
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