Back for the second time.

Hi Gav

Your story of 'what if' is so familiar to me. Been there got the T shirt. If you are like most of us in here, you'd have won which would have been lovely but do you really think you'd have stopped for good right there? You would have bet again and gone through the motions we're all too familiar with. I've lost about 60 to 70k in 2 to 3 years. If I'd have stopped when I'd only lost 5k I'd be sweet now. But I didn't and I accept that. You my friend need to accept where you're at and stop gambling for good. You can do it Gav, you know you can.

Hi gav , the what ifs and what could have beens will drive you crazy m8.try and Put it all behind you . Hope you get back on track on youre recovery !

Hi gav , yeah it used to really mess me up when I lost a lot of money and I'd keep going through what I'd lost it on and if I'd only backed that certain horse or picked that certain roulette number then I could have got my money back or even been up on the day ., but I've realised that when your a compulsive gambler it doesn't matter how much you win because you will always end up losing it all eventually . I know it's hard not to gamble but when you don't life's so much better without all that stress . I hope you can recover mate . One day at a time . Lawrence

Thanks for the comments.

Makes a lot of sense to draw a line under the losses and move on from it. Anyone who gambles will always lose eventually.

I tell myself what a waste of time and money it is yet l still cant stop. The urge to have a bet this weekend was nearly too much but made it. 7 days now. The big test will be in just over a week when the Cheltenham Festival is on. Horse racing has always been my problem and Cheltenham is about as good as it gets with all the best horses, some of which I followed throughout the season.

My wife has my debit card and online accounts are closed. Without access to my card I can't open a new account.

My wife knows I can get too involved with gambling but has no idea of the amount I have put on a horse race when chasing losses.

I'll try and keep myself busy. Having no access to money helped previously as the urge would pass and I couldn't respond to it.

Going to dust off the PS4 and have a go on that. Been so busy looking at racecards I have hardly touched it in 9 months.

Thanks again

Thats Good gav1975....dust off that playstation and have a good session.

It may be a good idea if your wife did know the amounts you have laid down. You have been seeking your highs by gambling with stronger and stronger fixes. Focus on what it did to your finances and you can forget all this it would have come in if I had bet on that. Thats just a gamblers mind looking for escape routes to justify continuing.

Talk about your urges and its needs discussing as the deadly serious addiction that it is.

Do some exercises...Try and rationalise exactly what you have been doing through every loss. I was a complulsive and a hopeless gambler and my actions just sound silly and crazy in the cold light of day. To a non gambler it just sounds crazy.

Dont forget they have teams of people or a cynical trackside oppo setting the odds. A gamblers mind is usually based on the four leaf clover, lucky heather,name of the horse, its my lucky day baloney. As the old saying goes,Ive never seen a poor bookie.

The urges are controlled by opening up to the people close and realising that its all stacked against you. The only people that can afford to gamble are those that can lose their money without worry. You know who that applies to and its certainly not me or you

The urges die down when you finally get a grip that you would just be chucking hard earned money away. The plan is that you think about it less and less until you wonder why you ever did it.

Counselling can help and even a quick healthcheck with the doctor

Anyway Im happy gamble free for months as I have effective blocks now and no real thoughts of gambling

I want you to be there and wish you all the best

Thanks Joydivider for the advice. I've a few days off this week and with Cheltemham starting today feeling massive urge to gamble. Gave my wife the cash card last night to take with her to work and to keep it all week. Left myself £20 for a few pints later. Having no access to money is a real relief and starting to feel better this morning. Think I will let her keep it for the forseeable future.

For me in the past Counselling has helped. If I stop now I have not really lost any money, only time and given myself a lot of stressful highs and lows. A few years ago I lost about £3500 and I think deep down I can't let the loss go.

Well done on staying gamble free. Hopefully in time it will get easier for me.

Hi

Yes thats good and you must talk through your feelings about Cheltenham. They dont set the odds so the only four legged horse is going to romp home at 100/1. Thats why they have all these tougher weird odds so people start trying to play the system. Im stating the obvious that a favourite horse offers little if any return

You are always going to be on the back foot . Its a mugs game. At best it should only be for entertainment and not chasing an income

You need your own systems to forget the £3500. Its gone. A footballer would blow that on a cake. Its gone... leave it. Thats what youve done with it and over time it will be at the back of your mind and not painful. Its not a get your money back later scheme because the odds are as hard today as they were then. The bookie enjoyed your money and isnt giving it back. If it worked that way they would all be out of business.

The thing is you are chasing a dream.... a stomach flutter....it isnt reality...The bookies income is based on most people losing

I dont believe any gambling is healthly but 3500 was a big time problem. Look what it did to you and it will do that again and again

Its not for you. It ruins people

You will feel healthy gamble free and you will be a better person. Its a great feeling knowing you have £20 for a drink and the bills are paid.

You will start to feel serene and enjoy the good things in life like friends and family

best wishes

Cheltenham Festival is over and as usual some of the horses I would have bet on won well. Pub is doing a trip to Sandown races in April. I was going but took my name off the list. Need to disassociate completely from it.

Although I am starting to see that if I had won during Cheltenham the money wouldn't be mine. I would have carried on and it may have taken a few months or longer but I'd be a loser in the end. And in addition to the financial loss there's the stresses of the highs and lows and wasted time.

Been busy at work. Stopped looking as frequently at racing sites. Have no access to money at all. Cut up all cards so only the one now. Wife's got that.

I have no debt through gambling but the amount I was betting no doubt at all it would have got me eventually.

Checked my statements and it is 50 loss per month for the 14 months I've been gambling. The number of deposits and how they increase was not good to see.

I got to a point after my counselling a few years back when I hated the sight of a betting shop but it got me again.

It's always going to be something I have to be careful of.

Thanks joydivider for the wise words. Makes a lot of sense.

Yes I think you just have to sit down with a spreadsheet and your wife and write down what exactly gambling did to you. I use the word to, as the vast majority of people lose and keep losing. Your wife can be the biggest help here

If you can bear writing it down do so and see. With family help advice and counselling you put your own systems of dealing with it in place.

Ita horrendous industry which has worked out how to play on the very core of human nature. All our brains like these chemicals but thats not the way to get them.

Find something better to be doing...Start windsurfing (preferably abroad) 🙂 cycling or the gym. Take your wife out....anything thats healthy and positive. Ive started my collecting again and am buying all the things I could have had ages ago.

Ive more money than I think when sensible with it...a new fancy phone is coming next week and I could afford my tv licence without hassle this year

I would argue that going to horse racing is not healthy at all because it fuels the gambling industry....all it is is gambling really isnt it. Without gambling...... who cares who wins......just like the fruit machines on free play...pointless.

What you gain is some pride. You dont feel ashamed about not going on a group race trip...more fool them...its not a healthy environment and it creates addicts and ruins lives.

I will be even more blunt. If you couldnt go just for entertainment and a couple of drinks then its not and never will be for you. Some people can never drink again and thats how it is with gambling.

It just isnt for you. I lost thousands and so did you. We can never be complacent though and I am fully aware that my triggers are stress depression and feeling slightly flush.

However with blocks in place I have never tried to find anywhere else, never gambled online or replaced it with other forms of gambling.

I havent spend one penny on any gambling (including the lottery) since 29/12/15 when I self excluded on that date. Im confident that I will now vastly increase the time gamble free with no real worries

Best wishes to you and everyone on the forum