Hi I'm Rach, I can't believe I've got myself into this situation. Before I started, I had a good job, savings didn't want for nothing but now I've lost nearly everything. Just hanging onto my marriage, I came clean about 6months ago but I just seem to relapse every couple of months. Adding more and more onto the debt I owe. It's the disappointment I can't handle, I can't explain why I gamble to the dismay of my husband. I manage to stop for a couple of months but then get the impulse to start it all again. I've blocked my self from many of the sites but I always seem to find more.
I need to break the cycle before I do lose everything.
How do you gain control and stop for good?
Hi Rachy
I’m in a similar situation to your own in regards to intermittent relapses. My last relapse ended Saturday night when I’d literally spent the entire weekend transfixed to my phone. I lost a bit then told myself I’d chase and walk away when even. I got even eventually (for the given session anyway, I’d never get even overall which is why it’s all so futile). Did I walk away at that point? Of course I didn’t I continued won a bit more then fast forward a few hrs and I’ve spunked it all. The money we’ve wasted away is always the lasting thought that stays with us once we’ve stopped. But we only ever stop when we have nothing left that we are willing to gamble. That is why I’m starting to realise ‘wins’ are just fuel to the fire, our addicted minds just see it as more tokens so we can continue, we are throughly addicted to the act of gambling. I feel different this time around though, I’m starting to do a lot of reading up on compulsive gambling behaviour and it helps me massively. As gamblers we have many delusions which cloud our judgement, we must look within ourselves and find the strength to come to our senses.
Don’t gamble tomorrow come back here and vent some more, I’ll try to help in any way I can.
Hello Rach.
You need to block your ability to gamble to give yourself some time to get out of the mess of the gambling cycle. You need to break the gambling triangle (time/money/location). If you remove 1 or more you can't gamble. It sounds like your husband knows about your problem with gambling. Hand over your money/your acess to it. Hand over credit/debit cards and start sticking to a budget. Only carry very small amounts of money around within this budget. Doing this will take some pressure of you. You will know what money is coming in and out and you can stop yourself being able to join new sites. You get to see and feel what money is again because we lose its real world value gambling.
You can get blocking software for PC and/or all mobile devices that can block gambling websites. Clearly you should still now self exclude to EVERY site you have open for the longest time possible (and be honest with yourself, if you give your addiction a chance you WILL use it). Gamban, K9 etc (there is a page on this site about software blockers).
Compulsive gambling is often a coping strategy. Phone Gamcare and talk to them. You may be able to get some free counselling sessions to talk your problems out. Personally i've have phone counselling and its helped a lot to just talk through my gambling habbits and routines to someone that i know is not judging me and understands the power and struggle we face.
You need to be tough on yourself and you need to want to do everything to stop if not the cycle will go on. I've had weekends losing £1000+ and as much as it hurt i still went back that wasn't my rock bottom. I just wanted to stop losing the first time. Now i am putting in the blocks and working on finding out about MY addiction to gambling.
Take it a day at a time, use this forum there are many good people that can and will help you.
All the best.
I've found keeping in touch via my recovery diary is helping. It feels good to get stuff off my chest and if I feel the urge to relapse I come and update with a new post.
Find things to do to keep you occupied so you don't have idle hands and succumb to the temptation. I cleaned my oven the other day lol just to keep busy. Good luck on your journey x
Hi Rachy80,
Welcome to the forum, and I am glad you decided to share your story with us; thanks for that.
You seem to have got good responses from some forum members already, and I hope you’ll try and consider their suggestions.
As you might be aware, we (Gamcare) are ready to help you every step of the way if you’d adhere to the advice we offer you.
We can advise on strategies that you can apply to help you overcome your problematic gambling. In addition, we can sign-post you to other charitable organisations if we think you’d benefit from their services. This is a chance for you to get help from a non- judgemental organisation that is ready to help you manage your gambling problem and eventually stop.
I think it would be helpful to you to try and contact our free phone Helpline on: 0808 8020 133, and speak to one of our advisers, and find out what other help options are available to you. We work everyday from 8.00am till midnight, so there’s plenty of time to contact when you feel ready.
In case you need some counselling to help you to overcome your gambling problem, Gamcare can refer you to 12 sessions of free counselling, and nearest to where you live.
I think you’ve also taken a step in the right direction by joining the forum, and posting here; there’s loads of support as you’d be finding out for yourself, so do try and stay in touch with us so we can continue to help and support you.
I wish you the best in your journey to recovery, and please keep posting!
Kind regards,
Beatrice
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