Hello,
This is my first time writing on the forum, I don't really know what I'm hoping to achieve from it but it's something new.
A brief overview about me - I am 29 now and started gambling around 18 with friends, found it fun and new and quite quickly it began to be a recurring weekly theme of the bookies, beers and bets that then became more of a every other day issue and ultimately it has completely taken over my life at this point.
I've lost jobs because of it, I've lost friends, family and relationships. I'm in a large amount of debt that looms over everything I do (I couldn't even finance a Freddo put it that way). I have anxiety and depression that has basically ruled my life throughout my 20's, a large part of that I assume would be down to gambling but I have other things going on as-well.
It's just got to the point I don't know what to do anymore, I've self excluded on Gamstop, I've blocked gambling transactions, used blocking software, been to meetings, used local services - it just always ends up the same way back to gambling. If there is another avenue to gamble I will always find it.
The best way I can describe my gambling and how it affects me currently is as if gambling was my personal IV drip, it needs topped up as regular and as much as possible. The longer I go without it, the more stressed, irritable, angry, miserable and just a complete and utter mess I become. I have withdrawals constantly, the second I don't have money to fuel the addiction it's as though there's a timer ticking down and the second it reaches that overwhelming point of needing it, I will do anything for it.
I am currently paid monthly, I never have anything to show for it. I am also walking too and from work regularly because I've spent my transport money on gambling, scraping for free food on apps whilst I'm out, or transferring odd 10p's from my different banks that are leftover to buy the cheapest thing available to eat when I'm at work (If I manage to make it to work).
Maybe I just needed a vent, again this month I've left myself with absolutely nothing and I only got paid yesterday. It's not a surprise anymore because this happens anytime I get money, it's just overbearing and I can't continue to do this.
Anyway that's a quick overview.
If anyone's reading, have a great day and take care of yourself.
KY
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Hey! It sounds like you are taking some positives steps in curbing this addiction ie signing up to GameStop, attending meetings etc, sign up to Gamban which you can access free on here, make sure that’s on all your devices. I’m currently on day 4 now of no gambling, I’ve quit before for 3 years actually and the thing that helped me was getting into a routine, planning your day, filling it with things you like to do, whether that be playing consoles, reading, watching films etc. Maybe look at ways to be productive, have a goal for example, I started going to the gym to lose weight and that became my goal. Take one day at a time. Honestly for me whenever I had/have the urges I just remind myself of the feelings I have when I’ve lost all my money. Like you, I have debts from gambling, although I have set up repayment plans for all of them and I’m managing to keep on top of them. My advice would be to contact everyone you owe money to and set up affordable repayment plans that you can stick to, honestly it will be a massive weight lifted. We are all in the same boat here so your not on your own. You got this 🙌🏼Â
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