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(@balprog)
Posts: 7
Topic starter
 

Hi I've been gambling nearly all my life. Started very young and it's been part of me ever since. I've lost a lot over the years and feel it's time to get a bit of help. 

Rarely do I lose huge amounts but recently I have done and I'm sick of it now. Today I got an extra day off so popped to the shops to get some food and found myself in the bookies playing the stupid machines, the machines I know will just sap my money, yet I was still there losing money I could have used for other things. 

My mood is severely effected by the gambling and I'm short with my partner and distant and I am certain it's the gambling doing this. 

I know in my head it's stupid but I can't help it sometimes. Chasing that big win and that feeling that comes with it definitely doesn't outweigh the grudging heavy depressed feeling from losing, yet I still tried, and failed. 

Time to stop. Day 0 gamble free. I hope, for my sake and others, that that 0 will turn into 100+ before it consumes me again. 

Thanks for listening and reading. Hope everyone's journey to be gamble free will be as easy and straightforward as possible.

Ryan

This topic was modified 5 years ago by Balprog
 
Posted : 16th October 2019 10:58 am
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Posts: 6119
Admin
 

Hi Ryan,

Many thanks for your post and welcome to our Forum! We hope you find it useful going forward.

Well done on starting your GF journey!

Kind regards,

Forum Admin

This post was modified 5 years ago by Forum admin
 
Posted : 17th October 2019 3:21 am
(@balprog)
Posts: 7
Topic starter
 

Thanks for having me here it does help. 

Thank you I hope the last time I gambled will definitely be just that. The last!

Ryan

 
Posted : 17th October 2019 6:48 pm
(@balprog)
Posts: 7
Topic starter
 

Day 5

Still having urges to gamble. Just a little bit of money I say to myself it won't hurt. But it will. I know if I give in it'll not just be a few quid it'll be more so I'm resisting but it isn't easy. Just need to remember how low I feel when I lose. It is not worth it. 

Hope everyone is having a good gamble free weekend. Any replies or helpful words will be appreciated.

Ryan

 
Posted : 20th October 2019 1:06 pm
slowlearner
(@slowlearner)
Posts: 864
 

Hi Balprog,

We're addicts, gambling is a drug & giving up is hard. They haven't come up with a methadone for CGs unfortunately. Remember we're never cured but believe me after more than 40 years of gambling  the misery and turmoil it caused i'm happier now than i've ever been. Stopping is hard but the rewards are unbelievable.

 

Stay Strong & Best Wishes

 

AL

 
Posted : 20th October 2019 6:42 pm
(@balprog)
Posts: 7
Topic starter
 

Thanks @slowlearner. 

Yeah more misery today as my partner found out I lost money last week again. She asked to check my bank and I stalled but she knew. I lied to her about it again and that's worse. 

She can't trust me with money especially when I randomly gamble, I can go weeks without doing it sometimes months but then it's all reset when I do do it, and I lose, inevitably. 

Gotta make amends again now and try and right the wrongs, starting by giving her full financial control. 

Still though, 7 days gamble free and I intend to never do it again. I know that's a good thing and doesn't make up for what I've done in the past but it is just that, the past. And I intend to keep it that way, something in the past that will NEVER come back to haunt me in the future.

 

 
Posted : 21st October 2019 8:30 pm
(@balprog)
Posts: 7
Topic starter
 

Still gamble free for 12 days. It's not been too difficult just yet but I think it may get harder as the days go on. But I won't give in. 

Popped out today with my wallet in my pocket and didn't even think about going into the bookies. Which is good! Things are looking up. 

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

This post was modified 5 years ago by Balprog
 
Posted : 27th October 2019 12:30 pm

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