Hi guys,
I've gambled for so so long, finally i think im going to stop forever. I've banned myself for 5 years from all uk casinos. ive registered for gamstop and i attended gamblers anonoymous yesterday and am looking into ocunselling.
My family (my mum, bro, sis who i live with) found out i gambled and had debt about 2 years ago which devatsted them ands they bailed me out. i thought then it was a turning point for me to change and i was good for maybe 2 months, but then as you know i got into the spiral again and today I now find myself in 25k worth of debt. Its so annoying because i allowed myself to gamble but also take out credit cards or loans from banks to fund the gambling and cover debts.
Do I come clean to my family? but i cannot bare bringing that kind of pain to them because It's not the first time it's happened and I keep betraying their trust. It's my own fault and i do not deserve anything from them apart from being kicked out. In all honesty i kind of want to be kicked out because its what i deserve as im a disgrace. I have built up a way to just continue living a lie. My family already dont trust me and always bedrudge me as it is. If I tell them now this has happened again i really don't know how they will react.
So do i come clean or do i not?
Some on here would say honesty is the best policy, however I guess it depends what you risk losing. If the debt is yours and manageable and don't affect them? Maybe not. It's your choice as is recovery
Hi chunny well done on your steps taken and the key is your own determination and desire to stop! If as said you can cope with the debt then it might be best to keep it quiet. However if you will struggle with the debt and sharing your struggles may make it easier for you to discuss with them, also you may want them to help manage your money? It is a difficult decision and only you know how he impact it may have. Keep posting and look toward to read about your recovery.
If you want to get better, recover, you need help. If you want help you have to ask for it. It doesn't sound like your family have learnt about addiction. Addiction doesn't go away by itself. You have put your barriers in place. You could emphasise this when you ask for their help, ask your family to look after your money. These are options. GA and gamstop are great starting points, keep going to meetings and people there will help you decide.
Hi Chunny,
Well done on taken steps by self excluding via Gamstop and also attending GA meetings and councelling. These are all part of the recovery program to combat our compulsions/addictions. But it is a life long battle and not an easy one to tackle as you are probably well aware, that is why we need support. Up to now we have tried to do it alone but it has led us down this rabbit hole. Now we realise we have a problem and the one thing that is crucial to help tackle it is to get as much support as possible.
GA meetings are a great source of support, there you will speak to and hear from fellow compulsive gamblers, so they will understand what you are going through. If you are open and completley honest at the meetings you will get a lot out of them.
Ideally you should come clean to your family, maybe not strightaway ( I would talk about it at your GA meeting and with your councellor also befoerhand) but soon. The reason I say that is addiction feeds off lies and deciept, if you come clean and everyone knows then the b******t stops. Its not easy to do, we worry about reactions but most things about recovery are not easy. But most things that are worth getting are not easy.
From my persective, family and loved ones that can see you are genuinly trying to tackle the issue will be more suportive and respectful over time, these things take time which is hard for us gamlers to take as our mind set is we want everything now. Bascially we have to win peoples trust back, this will take lots of time and effort, but it can be done and very rewarding also. I have had acouple of minor lapses on my road to recovery so far but Im so much better than when I was gambling all my money away each week and my partner can see that.
Well done on your recovery so far, keep it up
If you do - please do NOT accept any further bailouts as this allows the problem to get worse.
I just hope you are strong enough it takes balls and time to heal the damage you have done, I have done and everyone on this forum. our brains arent working as they should anymore.. however it takes time, I ffind myself at better place these days.. have been gamble free for 165 days. it will be a lifelong healing... but has to be under control. hope you will manage to pay off the debt and not gamble.. I never went into such a debt because I left england if I didnt i might have been dead by now. enjoy the money for food, the precious time with friends and pay off your debt and have a life.. keep us psted
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