Done it again

Hello Lofty931

Welcome to GamCare Forum, it is good to see you here.  Many people find is very useful to get advice and support for how to deal with the impact of gambling harm and I hope that you can too.  We have Advisers available 24/7 to support you through this difficult time.  You can contact an Adviser on 0800 8020 133 or using our Livechat www.gamcare.org.uk.

I encourage you to make contact so that we can discuss the best way forward for you to overcome the gambling issues that you are currently facing.

Once again welcome and I do hope that you reach out to one of our Advisers - you are not alone.

Best

Amanda

Forum Admin

Same story here, so bad

Hi there,
When the slip happened to my during my 53days GF I was told-that this is a part of recovery journey and I couldn’t understand at first.But it is indeed!
In my case the amount of money I lost in that slip evening was much more painful,(eventhough It was significantly less tan thousands before).

So please shake it off and move forward.It could be more than that.You have beautiful life ahead of you.
xxx

Thank you! 
I always gamble in secret and my partner doesn’t know so it’s good to talk to someone about it, I guess £500 isn’t slot in the long run, and it’s better than what I used to lose. I worked so hard doing overtime this month so it sucks it’s gone.

how are you doing? 
xx

Hi Lofty, the question you need to ask yourself is "do I want to stop gambling". If the answer is yes then there are tools to help you when the urges come.

I would recommend registering with Gamstop for 5 years, putting a blocker on your phone, again  for 5 years, I use betblocker and it can't be removed. Also contact your Bank to get them to put a block on gambling transaction. All these will stop you being able to gamble, but you can also get help from Gamcare, speak to an advisor who will listen to your story and give advice and maybe arrange some counselling to help you.

You say your gambling is secret, mine was too for 5 years until the day my wife found out. The repercussions were immense but with the above blockers in place and some great counselling we are working our way through the mess I have created. I know it's easy for me to say as I didn't have the b@lls to do it but speak to your partner before she finds out and tell her you are seeking help, you may be surprised at the reaction.

I gambled secretly for 5 years getting into serious debt but am now 6 months gamble free so with the right support you can do this.

Good luck and keep posting

Awesome advice! Thank you very much,

I attempted the GameStop last night but they didn’t recognise me so need take a photo with ID and a letter with address, I need to make sure I do it as I know I will stop now but once i feel I’m financially healthy again I will go on a binge.

I don’t think I can face telling my fiancé but I’m happy to hear it worked out for you, and that you are on your journey to recovery

Hi Lofty and Welcome.

I hope you will keep using the forum and become a  long term member.

You need to stop and if you want to stop we will give you the advice and reality checks you need 

Your gambling is a secret because you  know its not right and its not wholesome behaviour. If you were spending your time trying to be a sportsman or going to the gym you would be telling people with pride.

Secrets are no good for you. If you ever think you are going to walk in to a smiling girlfriend knowing you have replaced all the money and she never knew...it doesnt work like that.

You know your losses over the years. It certainly is not an income scheme for a new car or wedding. £500 is actually a lot of money and you cant shrug that off because gamblers tend to ride the losses by thinking its not the end of the world.

You dont "get it back" by working, That money has gone...you get OTHER money by working  but it should have added on to what you already had.

The gambling dens are not offering a get it back later scheme...not on those odds which problem gamblers ignore

Im not trying to be unkind to you. Im just pointing out a classic gamblers delusion about borrowing it back or getting it back.

I used to do the same and its actually the addiction telling you things arent so bad ( so it can get you gambling again next time)

Its a progressive addiction and Im telling you it will take you to the end of the world when you see no way out.

The next main point is that any gaps are no sign of control . You may have thought you could stop for a while but the binges or relapases show you dont have any control...another addicted delusion

You are very much like me so I see the signs.

Please tell your girlfriend and start the serious blocks to abstain for good.

The photos letters and ID are nothing awkward compared with an addiction that was destroying you. Make it a day of pride and do all these blocks preferably with a member of your family watching you do it

You cant do this alone...do you see my point? This isnt Lofty the lad that can handle it. You need to understand what you are dealing with. Its a drug addiction that laughs at casual willpower.

You will need to bring out the big measures of openness and honesty. You can never be complacent again but the holy grail is being free from gambling

best wishes from everyone on the forum

Posted by: Lofty931

hello, I’m 27 and I’ve been gambling for many years now. I am able to stop but always relapse and have just lost £500 in two days!! I’ve now stopped and I’m aware the money is gone. I will work hard and get it back but this is the same story. 
I’m saving for a new car and a wedding next year and this just sets me back! Why do I do it? I always win to start with and then it gets me. I then chase and chase!
what is also worse my fiancé does not know, and I sit here with a smile like nothings happened. A vicious cycle!  

This sounds just like me. I’m earning more, my credit card I used to gamble is now paid off but I still go back to gambling. £1000 spent in a few weeks. Always go back, then regret it 

That makes complete sense! This needs to be a turning point in my life, I’m managing but my life could be much better without gambling, the money I could of had and the enjoyment I could of gained from it.

All those hours I work overtime just to blow it all. I could be spending it with my friends and family! 

No more relapses it’s time to take action 

thank you 

Thank you! 
I always gamble in secret and my partner doesn’t know so it’s good to talk to someone about it, I guess £500 isn’t slot in the long run, and it’s better than what I used to lose. I worked so hard doing overtime this month so it sucks it’s gone.

how are you doing? 
xx

Hi, glad you found it helpful. What I will add is that there is no right or wrong way to deal with this addiction, whatever fits for you is fine. Read other people's stories and you may pickup something that you think will help.

Remember no matter how successful someone seems we all started on day 1 so be proud you have started and each day wake up feeling positive that you have got through another day gamble free.

You are only young with a great future to look forward to with the wedding but think about whether it would be best to start married life with a clean slate. Only my opinion you need to do what feels right for you both.

All the best

day 1 gamble free

So I’m annoyed I relapsed, I’m annoyed I’ve lost that money.

but I’m working overtime tomorrow and Sunday. Time to work hard, build the bank account up and not relapse in a couple of months time when I get complacent.

eaely start tomorrow! The hard work starts now 

Why do we do it @Louise2676 
I save money and then believe I have some disposable cash so one bet won’t hurt and then I lose weeks or months of hard savings! 
then I have to start all over again. 
Ahhhh!!! 

Sorry to hear you relapsed but well done for getting back up and getting through day 1.

Please make sure you sort your blocks our if you havent already they are vital to your recovery i see people have mentioned gamstop

Gamcare are also offering gamban for free which stops you accessing gambling sites

Also many banks offer blocks on gambling transactions if you havent already got one.

Blocks are so important because it helps protect you when the urge is there.

Take care

Loulou x