I, like everyone on this planet have at times struggled with self-belief…… “I will never be able to that” “That’s too far out my reach” “Why would anyone think I could do that”
I have put a lot of thought recently in to why I have negative thoughts and why I have often been pessimistic about things. Is it hereditary? Is it just built in? Did I learn to be like this? Why can’t I change?
For me personally I could never find the answer. I have however found ways to develop myself and thus change my outlook on life, finding inner belief that I never knew was there. I decided to burst my little bubble and change my thought process forever. For example, I have had a fear of flying ever since I was young and only ever done short haul flights. But this year I am off to America and I can’t wait!
I would just like to share some ways, that you, like me, can change and become the person you want to be, just by simply believing in yourself and what you can achieve.
THINK ABOUT IT, WE ALL GAMBLE BECAUSE WE DON’T BELIEVE IN OURSELVES. DEEP DOWN WE KNOW WE WILL LOSE, WE ARE JUST PUNISHING OURSELVES BECAUSE WE DON’T THINK WE ARE GOOD ENOUGH. ITS TRUE.
It’s simple really just make sure you avoid doing or thinking the below, by doing this will free your mind of negativity forever, I promise you. Once you have a clear mind and believe in yourselves, you WILL NOT gamble again.
Thank you for reading and please let me know your thoughts.
.
1) Not Guarding Your Heart
Your heart is the most important tool you have. It is not your experience, knowledge, or skills. It is your heart that matters most of all. Don’t allow just everyone to have access to it.Guard your heart with all your might because everything you create comes from it. If we lose our heart, we have lost everything.
2) Allowing NEGATIVITY In Your Mind
In this day and age, more content (blogs, tweets, Facebook posts, etc) gets published than at any point in the history of the world. Whatever we want to consume is accessible. The issue is what often lands on our plate is filled with negativity – from gossip posts to pure brainless themes like Cat memes. While individually, this content doesn’t do real harm, over time it eats away at our mind like a disease. Consume a disproportionate amount of inspirational content and cut out the c**P.
3) Not Knowing What You Live For or why you are here.
“What’s my purpose?” This was a question I asked myself a few years ago. Answering it changed my life instantly. It’s hard to know where you’re going unless you know who you are – your truth. To create your life roadmap, first identify and prioritize your values. Doing so will give clarity of what you need in life as opposed to what you simply want.
4) Not Training Your Belief System
The first step to training your belief system is to use affirmations. Affirmations like, “Why am I so confident? Why do I believe in myself? Why do I trust my intuition?” are empowering questions that focus your mind on why you are, in fact, confident. Next, force yourself into creating a habit of belief. Some people are born with an innate self-confidence, but most of us are not that lucky. It’s a good thing we can teach ourselves new habits. Most experts agree it only takes 30 days to change our behavior. Just like a good exercise program, use the suggestions in this post to map out what you will do daily to boost your “belief muscle” over the next 30 days.
5) Thinking You’re The “Only One”
Do a quick read of ________’s biography (fill in the blank with the most inspirational person you know), and you’ll see how they also faced self-doubt at certain points in their life. If you are human, you have struggled with belief. I often find myself returning to Steve Job’s Stanford commencement address as a source of inspiration and guidance on how one of the most innovative men of our time dealt with self-doubt. This video is a different kind of soul food!
6) Allowing The Word “No” To Impact You
No one ever succeeds without being rejected (many times). Expect to hear the word “no” time after time, and you’ll be ready to overcome, time after time. As best-selling author Karen Quinones so eloquently said: “When someone tells me ‘no,’ it doesn’t mean I can’t do it, it simply means I can’t do it with them.”
7) Not Accepting Compliments
This is critical towards building your self-esteem, which is an important part of believing you can step into your purpose. Next time someone gives you a compliment, resist the urge to dismiss it, or question its authenticity. Instead, imagine it is true and you might just find that it is.
8) Going At It Alone
The importance of surrounding yourself with as many good people as possible is second to none. But let’s face it, sometimes the well for good friends is dry. That said, I don’t believe we were put on earth to be alone with our ideas. You must find your one supporter! When I decided to become a matchmaker, everyone told me I was crazy but I was able to find support from my wife. All you need is one person to have your back and it makes your belief infinitely easier.
9) Not “Faking It Until You Make It”
This begins with simply speaking confidently and assertively (even if you’re not). I’ve seen first hand that by simply speaking in a strong manner, people will believe what you have to say. Therefore, it gives you greater control over your ability to influence, and it helps to drive your actual confidence.
10) Not Surrendering
From working with and observing some very successful people in life, I noticed a common theme that I have adopted for myself: a) Work your a*s off. b) Identify what you can control. c) Identify what you can’t control. d) Surrender to a higher power. It’s important to realize that no one has ever fallen while stepping out on faith. And understand that, in the eternal words of Dr. King, “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” I think about this single point daily.
Self-doubt is crippling and will cause you to live beneath your privileges. To
believe in yourself is no easy feat. Yet, it’s essential to living a fulfilled life. If you’re doing any of these ten things to yourself today, stop so that you can start believing in yourself tomorrow.
Take care,
Ru x
Thats an excellent thread title and post because it gets to the root of what is going on.
Those that think its just about the money or the chase dont understand the real complexity. I feel that some people just wont admit that they are empty inside
When going through this with counselling, I know it was about my lack of self esteem, loneliness and doubt drawing me in to the murky world of gambling. I had given up and couldnt face the monotony and boredom with life as I saw it. I was more depressed than I thought. I thought gambling was my only world when in town. I couldnt get a high without gambling and I needed that high just to feel normal. It wasnt really a high towards the end but they say that the fixes need to get stronger and stronger.
This drew me right to the door for instant escape and sure enough thats where the arcades were handily placed for my financial ruin.
Only the lows were the lowest of the low....how could I forget that as addiction drove me to do it again. How could I forget the suicidal lows and do it again?
Anyway Im much more positive and gamble free for months now
I will read through that again and work on it.
Hi joydiver, its good that you understand why you gambled, it took me many years.
Joydivider wrote:
Thats an excellent thread title and post because it gets to the root of what is going on.
Those that think its just about the money or the chase dont understand the real complexity. I feel that some people just wont admit that they are empty inside
When going through this with counselling, I know it was about my lack of self esteem, loneliness and doubt drawing me in to the murky world of gambling. I had given up and couldnt face the monotony and boredom with life as I saw it. I was more depressed than I thought. I thought gambling was my only world when in town. I couldnt get a high without gambling and I needed that high just to feel normal. It wasnt really a high towards the end but they say that the fixes need to get stronger and stronger.
This drew me right to the door for instant escape and sure enough thats where the arcades were handily placed for my financial ruin.
Only the lows were the lowest of the low....how could I forget that as addiction drove me to do it again. How could I forget the suicidal lows and do it again?
Anyway Im much more positive and gamble free for months now
I will read through that again and work on it.
Its Over Now The Rain Has Gone wrote:
Hi joydiver, its good that you understand why you gambled, it took me many years.
You even need to go as far back as your childhood. For me I was bullied at school and had no self confidence. I was scared and lonely. So for me when I was shown this way how to make what I thought was easy money I took it. I wanted to show the world I wasn't worthless, that I could be some-one. Like you mentioned, it is an outlet to try and feel better about yourself. But in fact in makes you feel 100 times worse. So why do we do it? Simply because there is a slight chance of winning and felling good for a few seconds. Until its all gone again that is, then gone again, again and again.Keep strong and have a great gambling free weekend.Ru.
Yes and I realise thats its always been within me from a hereditary point of view. A worrier. lacking esteem and I was bullied at school. School was miserable for me and I remember walking home from school in a state of clinical depresssion. It should have been tackled then but depression was more taboo
I have always been the sort of person that would be attracted to comfort gambling. I have always been the sort of person that would seek that form of escape for any worries
I have recently had a hard time thinking about my work history and realise I always made the wrong choices and drifted. A recent period of unemployment made me realise I was untrained and worthless. Im not worthless as a person but that really did that mess with my mind. Im angry with myself for not having the gumption to be self employed and make my own way in life
I gambled that money in 2015 because I was an emotionally depressed mess. It actually had little to do with the money when I analyse it. The money was almost a side effect of a high seeking, self destructive, cry for help. Yes I was suicidal when my pockets were empty but I wasnt actually playing to win.
Deep down I knew I wouldnt win. This was shown time and time again when I had to keep playing. Walking away meant the feeling of playing would stop and I needed that feeling more than anything. Walking away would mean the grey streets and home to an empty life.
Thats the result anyway when cleaned out. Thats the addiction in that we will play until extinction which is bound to come
I was playing so i wouldnt feel lonely and bored. Only I would walk home later feeling lonely bored and financially ruined!
I walked through town today and realised thats its not a particularly nice place when Im feeling down. I think thats what also drew me to town gambling. A bankruptcy and the twisted pressure that the dwp put on didntt help. Its not a helpful pressure and it just twists the mind. It build up a headache like a pressure cooker. I felt that way today but passed all tests in that I didnt gamble. Im blocked anyway. there was a fleeting thought in the pub. It wasnt strong enough and was immediately countered with positive thoughts. That I will work on and I havent been to a pub for months as I dont really drink
Anyway I hope other gamblers can look inside themselves for underlying issues. I saw so many people and thought it isnt about the money with them. I knew because I sensed and saw me in them. Many looked stressed and showing signs of numb trance depression... I can see the escapism there.
All the best to everyone
This thread is very helpful and kind. Thank you.
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