Hi my name is Jason I've been gambling since I have been 15 or so, I am now 32. I've never really considered myself a gambling addict, because I haven't really ever craved it/ or gambled everyday but I have always chased my losses and when I do gamble, I generally lose quite a lot (at least for me). In my late teens to about my mid 20's I drank a lot of alcohol (binge drinking) fortunately now I don't drink no where near as much now, but when I do I can't seem to stop (much like the gambling) I have been suffering depression for a while now probably about 10 years or so, and thinking about it, it must be linked to alcohol/gambling amongst other things.On Saturday night we had a friends birthday party at the casino and I lost about £200. After many drinks, once I arrived home I tried to claw back some of the loss and proceeded to lose another £600 online. This is somewhat of a trend for me, quite often after I've been drinking I will either end up at the casino or online, and lose quite a bit. I don't ever get the cravings to gamble unless I've been drinking. This morning I've had enough of it all. I have barred myself from the online sites which I am a member of, and shall be booking an appointment to see a gp on Monday for some advice on my depression etc. I am quite frankly fed up of not having any sort of life and on many occasions thought about suicide. I believe that somehow these problems are all linked into my mental health problems and have tried to combat things on my own for a while.
About time for a change, and the start of a new life... hopefully
Morning Jason,
I don't log on to here much but change the name and your story could be mine.
I have an addictive personality and have the same correlation with drink and gambling; you can stay in control of both for so long and then I find I can go off the rails (usually drinking first) before it then giving me 'permission' to gamble (I'm about ten years into ongoing depression as well btw). Waking up the next day feeling like I've let myself and others down is a feeling I couldn't take anymore so I decided to put blocks in place (K9 installed on my PC and self exclusion from all sites) and concentrate on myself, on reading and generally taking positive action.
I'm nearly 80 days without a bet now and I'm feeling both mental and financial benefits from staying away from gambling (both high street and online). I also don't miss going to bed bleary eyed whilst the sun is coming up and wondering what the hell I've done or the constant maintenance of a ledger in my head remembering how much I'm up or down. I found that gambling and drinking heavily helped to re-inforce my state of depression; the loss and self loathing fueled a negative perception of myself. Each day that's gone past I've seen things more clearly (still a lot of work to do) but it's nice to have broken a large link that was a real stronghold over me.
I personally did gamble regularly but would be slightly better at knowing when to stop when sober which limited the financial repercussions. The issue for me like you was with drink; I know that if I get to a point of intoxication I find that my level of self control goes out the window and I can gamble vast sums without at the time holding myself accountable for my actions. I think sometimes I would drink just to know that it was the excuse to be able to go on a gambling binge. I would urge you to take a two-fold approach to break the cycle; really think about and consider your relationship with alcohol (knowing that it is a gateway to destructive gambling) and to put rigid blocks in place to prevent you from gambling (like I said, K9 on my PC at home and self exclusion across the board have removed the temptation).
I wish you all the best with your journey.
i Many thanks for replying and congratulations on 80 days free. It is strange how are stories are so similar, but I can somehow imagine many people are in the same boat as us. I've booked up to see a gp today and am hoping to be referred for some sort of counciling. I have tried cbt therapy a couple of years back now,along with being purscribed a course of ssri's to combat the depression. Unfortunately neither of these helped very much. But I can feel within myself that this time will be different. I believe if I do obstain from alcohol and then in turn gambling that it will make my recovery that much easier. I wish you all the best in your recovery, and as you said in your post, it will never be a quick fix, but for the first time in a while I know that I am on the right track.
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