I My name is William i am 53years old and have been addicted to gambling on and off for the past 20years. I started with online gambling in 2001 and within 4 years i had debts of £73,000 i could not stop i didnt know how to and thankfully my wife stood by me and we took out a secured loan to pay this off. This was okay for about 6months but i soon realised i could not keep up mortgage,loan and other outgoings so took to gambling again. 4 years later i had racked up £75000 in debt this time i had to declare myself bankrupt in 2009 to clear the debt. Again my wife stood by me and the debt was cleared. I was clean for approx 5 years when the strain and stress had taken its toll on my wife and we took time out from our marriage and seperated. I was at a very low point during this time and gambling came back into my life. I thought i was in control of it but it started to snowball yet again with loss after loss after loss with the odd win in between. After 2 years apart my wife and i got back together and our relationship has never been better, i love her to bits. I have been chasing losses for the last 2 years without success and have now debts of approx £30000 which my wife does not know about and if she finds out it will devastate her and i fear she will leave me again. I have known the day would come where i could not gamble anymore as the funds are not there, that day is today, i have timed out my online gambling accounts for one week to start with, small step but its a step. I will look into Gamstop today also. I am feeling very low and fear for the future. Gambling is a very destructive life wrecking illness but i hope i can kick it once and for all this time. William
Hi William,
First off I just want to say well done for coming here and taking those first steps. Gamstop is a definite must for you judging from what you have said. It takes away that avenue of gambling and once that is out of your control it helps you to move on to kicking this horrible addiction. I completely understand how you feel about not wanting to tell your wife but it's very clear from what you have said how much she loves you and wants to support you. By keeping it to yourself and hiding it from her you're putting more pressure on yourself trying to keep secrets and if/when she does find out she will be more hurt that you haven't told her especially when she's stood by you in the past. You need her support and help especially with you feeling very low. But it's your decision and there is plenty of help and support on this forum no matter what you decide to do.
Well done again for coming here and wanting to sort out your problem. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.
Gemma
Hi Gemma, Thank you for your reply. I have now registered with Gamstop for 5 years. Yes i will tell my wife very soon and hope she understands like she has in the past, i will firstly make contact with a family member just to talk it through so i have someone close who understands the problem. I should have done this a long time ago but like all bad addicted gamblers you think the big one is just round the corner and everthing will be ok, sadly this will never be the case. I love sport and watching sport just wish id never gambled on it...... William
That's brilliant that you have signed up for gamstop. I did the same and signed up for 5 years when my partner told me about it last year. I am in a fortunate position that both myself and partner are both gamblers so luckily we understand each other and how hard it is to beat this addiction. I'm glad you have a family member to talk to as we both know how lonely of a place you can end up as a gambler. We all know we should have put things in place to stop us getting into the situations we do but hindsight is a wonderful thing and when you're in the midst of gambling you don't think you need help as like you say the big one is always around the corner...or so we think. I too love sport and so does my partner, we often sit and watch it taking note of all the gambling adverts trying to lure us in and get us hooked. It's just something else to make beating this addiction harder.
I'm sure with time and help we can all beat this for good.
Gemma
Hi wmillar,
Well done for reaching out on here and for signing up to GamStop. It is lovely to hear that your wife has been understanding but it is advisable to tell her again as that amount of debt is likely to impact upon her eventually in some fashion. If you have not already you may wish to contact us on the Helpline 0808 8020 133 or the Netline to have a one-to-one conversation with one of our advisers (your wife is also welcome to contact us for support separately and confidentially).
Best Wishes
Forum Admin
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