Feel like a total fool

Hi there (sorry - it feels wrong to address you as 'Hi idiot') -Should explain to later readers of this thread, that there has been a name change!!!

Well done on resolving to stop this madness called gambling - joining this site is an important first step and I urge you to visit as much as possible because you will find so much advice, support and inspiration here.

Regardless of how much money we lose, we all feel like idiots when we realise that we are just funding the champagne lifestyles of all those casino and betting shop owners. Nothing is worth doing if the end result is to make us feel so much self-disgust.

Have you taken steps to self-exclude - that will be an important thing to do to avoid further temptation.

You will start to feel better with every day you can manage 'clean' from gambling, and I feel that this in turn will start to give you peace of mind which can only be of benefit if you have mental health problems.

Best wishes for your journey.

Joanna

Hi there,

Welcome to this site and well-done for posting. You are absolutely right there are so many patterns with regards to this addiction as with most addictions.

When I first admitted to my addiction I thought oh I just wanted to win money. It soon dawned on me after my first counselling session that I was using gambling to escape from every little and big stress I had. The most difficult part is finding something to replace gambling with in order to cope with the triggers.

Everybody has a different amount lost but as you say it is all relevant to earnings and anyway the longer one gambles the higher the total losses become.

My advise to you is to do the work your counsellor asks and be honest with him/her as this will make so many things clearer for you and help you to develop the skills you need to be able to cope.

Keep reading and contributing to this site it can help when those urges come to bug you.

Take care,

Amanda

Thanks Joanna,I have self excluded myself from arcades before but I just ended up going into pubs to use slot machines and lose even more than if i was in an arcade and they wont allow me to self exclude myself from the machines,arcades are the lesser of two evils at the moment,Does that make me less resolved to resolve my problem......i hope not (and i dont feel less resolved) because i am at the start of my recovery im looking to minimising the losses,Im confused with whether i need to hit rock bottom,on the 1 hand i dont want to hit "rock bottom" before trying to solve it but on the other hand doesnt everyone HAVE to hit rock bottom before they can progress ?.

Hi Amanda,Thanks for your reply,The advisor on Netline did the referral for me online and now just need to wait to hear from them,Do you (or anyone else) know how long it takes ? or how long the wait is to start counselling?

same comment posted twice.

Hi there again.

The waiting list for counselling face to face is usually 3 weeks approx I am not sure on online my assumption is it will be much the same. I know it is frustrating however it does help hang in there and give it a go !

Thank you Zulu,Ive gone for online counselling as there isnt face to face close enough to me,will just wait and see

Hi id - You wonder if it's necessary to hit 'rock bottom' before starting your recovery. Well I would say 'No' to that premise - after all, 'rock bottom' is not quantifiable - it could be a couple of hundred for you or becoming bankrupt for another person. I think you must start your recovery when you realise that you have to stop gambling, and the sooner the better. In some ways I feel, with the greatest respect, that you are putting off your recovery struggle until you have no money left, with the ever so slight hope that you may win more than you lose.

Could I be right? Please, please start your recovery now by saying NO to the arcade machines. Find something else to do which will physically keep you away from those places if you cannot self-exclude.

I hope the counselling gets under way soon.

In the meantime why not come over to the '2014 Challenge' on the 'Overcoming problem gambling' page - it's a team effort and very supportive. You just introduce yourself and then check in once a week. Mr Brightside oversees it all and gives brilliant updates each week on our progress. Give it a go!

Joanna

Hi Joanna,I know I have a problem with gambling and dont want to hit rock bottom and lose everything,As I said before I dont want to put off my recovery hence putting myself forward for counselling and registering for the forum etc,I went into the arcade yesterday with 20 and walked out with 20 which i am seeing as both positive and negative,Negative that i went in and gambled but a positive that i walked away with the same amount as i entered with,is that dangerous thinking ? as i said i am right at the beginning of my recovery so i dont know whats dangerous thinking and what is small positive steps in changing my mental behaviour so i am looking for advice hence me asking if people need to hit rock bottom (whatever that is for that person) before they can move forward,I have had an idea that i change any spare money (5/10) i get into small coins (5p's) to stop me spending them as the machines wont take them,Good idea or are there better ones ?,Today is my sons 3rd birthday but also the 1st day of my recovery and being gamble free which im hoping is going to give me extra motivation to stop gambling so that i can say in 5/10 years time that I gave it up on my sons birthday,however thinking about it now i have written it am i doing it for the wrong reasons? when you hear about treatment "addicts" are always told you have to do it for yourself and no1 else,I want to do it for myself but also for my family,is that dangerous thinking again ?

I will have a look at the 2014 challenge and have a read,thanks for the heads up

any advice greatfully recieved and thought about!

My name is Darren by the way.

Hi Darren - Good to see that you are thinking of positive strategies (the small change unusable on the slots) to help you stop.

Of course you have to think of yourself primarily in your recovery - you are the only one who can do it and to some extent you have to be self-centred in working out what is best for you and how to deal with this demon.

But at the same time your loved ones can be a great incentive to be strong and defeat gambling. Think of all those little treats you can get for your son, or even start saving for him, with the money not fed into slots.

Also the peace of mind that comes from not feeling so bad about yourself will have a beneficial effect your family relationships I am sure.

Regarding your recent trip to the slot machines, you came out with 20, but be honest - that would soon be fed back on another visit. A good saying which often appears on this site is: "I cannot win because I cannot stop."

Well done on these first positive steps, and best wishes for your journey. I'll look out for you on the 2014 Challenge.

Joanna

Hi Darren

Many Thanks for posting on my diary page, it really helps. I had noted we had both started here on the same day along with a couple of others. Well done yesterday btw, must have been tough. For me, betting shops were my last resort, online betting is the thing that tempts me the most. It's the start of day three today, but I have that feeling I'm going to find today really tough, so thanks for the support. Hang in there it's definitely worth it. Cheers, Granite.

Day 3 over and done with 🙂 Bring on day 4 !

How has your day 3 been Granite ?

I havent done it but would placing a bet online reset my days without gambling ?,my problem is slot/fruit machines,i can walk away from online betting but not from slot machines for some reason,Just wondering (havent had any urges to place any bets but again i can place bets online and if they lose they lose it doesnt really bother me)