Hi, new here but unfortunately not new to gambling. This has been my life for the past 12 years on and off.
Over the past 12 years I’ve had plenty of relapses.. the most recent one has taken its toll on me mentally.
Can’t shake the anxiety off, I’m so angry and disappointed as myself.
Abit of background, I started gambling at 22. It all started fun and a couple quid here and there, within 2 years I got myself into 20K of debt. Told family, which was horrendous and was given a loan by a family member to pay off.
Didnt gamble for about a year after that, financially recovered.. Then the feeling of maybe just 1 bet I have it all under control.
Then managed to get myself into 60K worth of debt over the next few years.
Im so fed up of the cycles of relapse, I’ve had counselling, been open and honest with family / partner. Gambling has totally consumed my life and changed me as a person.
I have a good job and earn fairly decent money, yet I’ve got this dark side of me when it comes to gambling. Again financially I’ve got myself into a little bit of debt that can be cleared in the next few months. But I’m 35.. no house, no savings, nothing to show for my 35 years of existence due to gambling!
I hate the person I have become, I feel I do not even recognise myself. I lie to my loved ones, I say to myself every payday I will not gamble. Within hours of being paid, all that money has been blown to gambling. The only thing I will say I do pay all my bills prior to gambling however I have now left myself with £200 to my name to last me until next pay day.
Day 2 gamble free.. I can not continue this life of constant lying, relapses, and feeling like this.
Something really needs to change, I just don’t know if I’m ever going to over come this.
Hi there. Well done for at least making a start 👍. Can I ask if you have put any blocks in place? They really do help with any triggers/temptation. If you have, you will soon see your hard earned salary go to better use. I have been exactly the same in the past and although not a constant gambler, nevertheless, did enough damage when I did and on several occasions, like you, have lost all my salary in a matter of minutes/hours!🙈.
Stay strong and committed to making some positive changes with regards to your gambling and you will soon start to feel more at peace with yourself AND, have a better bank balance!
Take care.
Pink Lady.🩷🍎.
jj13, I'm at a very similar stage in life with very little to show, and anxiety / reminders of what could have been... compared to my peers... and what pressure I have put onto my loved ones.
nothing can change it all, it's not coming back.
I'm on day 4 recovering from my millionth relapse..
I'm trying to remind myself each moment my time on this earth is more valuable than what I have lost financially...i have frequent self hate moments through these last 4 days, but some self care and a few minutes of strength. good luck.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
