Gambled yet again!

Hi Debrarose,

Well done for coming back on here. It takes us many attempts before we quit for good. Decide that 2015 will be your year. I think more people are realising that it is easier to give up completely than to try to control gambling. Our control buttons just don't work anymore. It's a tough road ahead but you are on the right road. What will you do different this time?

Suzy

Hi SuzyLemon, thank you for responding to my post! I have self excluded myself from all the casino's I used to frequent, I have changed my bank cards so that they are cash only cards so I cannot go online anymore, scratch cards are a problem as they're in practically every shop so I'm not quite sure what to do there! I cannot believe what I did on Friday though because I got my daughter to let me use her bingo account and gave her the cash! it's really hard to stop, I've come to the conclusion that I really need to want to stop and I have to stop making excuses for my behaviour!

Theres a world of difference between knowing you have to & having a real desire to stop & change your life around. When i first came to recovery my reasons were financial i thought it was about money as most do when they 1st arrive. The problem is finances are soon changed so the desire returns the urges never leave. It is only when i realized that gambling was my solution & not the problem that i no longer needed to use. Take control of the emotional issues that led you to addiction & the fight is one you can win

Thank you day@atime, you are right of course, I have thought long and hard about why I continue to gamble, it defo isn't about the money anymore, I just get such a buzz when I win, I really wish I could replace it with something less distructive! I seriously think I should take an art course just to keep my mind off gambling.

hi im new to gamcare feel same as you cant believe i reverted bak to gambling yest again after 12 weeks gamble free. it horrible addiction, just want to stop. it destroying my life. you are right tho debrarose with what you said about doing artcourse. gotta find something you are passionate about and do it instead of gambling

Too true Chris40, it's impossible to stop gambling if you're not replacing the gambling with a positive activity!

Well done for stopping for 12 weeks though, that is really impressive! all the best with your recovery!

thanks debrarose lets do this, its time to recover, just been reading posts in forums, very inspirational, lets put a stop to it

debrarose62 wrote:

I am feeling really stupid right now, I cannot believe I reverted back to gambling! over the last 10 years I've lost over £30 000.00, there have been times when I've gone up to £1200.00 and then put the money straight back in! Today I've made a promise ( yet again) that I'm not going to gamble again, I've been trawling through the internet looking at information relating to gambling and thought I'd share something I read, it's taken from a book called 'Gambling, it's a bad bet', which states that historian Andrew Steinmetz stated in his book that Fortuna was a goddess worshipped by romans, Fortuna was a selfish creature who could only be placated by cards, counters and dice, Fortuna gave birth to a misfigured child called 'Gaming', Gaming in turn gave birth to hideous twins called 'Dualling' and 'Suicide' who became gamings constant companion, it's no wonder then why so many people feel so suicidal after they've lost their money!

? what is dualling?? like split personalities?

sorry to hear of your relapse..........i hope this time with those extra measures you have a better chance x

LEST-WE-FORGET, dualling is what they did in the old days to sort out a dispute, either with postols or swords 🙂

lol - yes i get the " i challenge you to a duel" aspect..........i just thought in the context of suicide being the twin......it didn't fit......so was thinking of schesophrenic of dual personalities possibility??..........but i obviously was over thinking it lol and was wrong 🙂

Hi Lest-We-Forget, I think what the author was portraying was that where gaming is there strife will be, it just really made sense when you read the posts on here and see the amount of people that have suicidal thoughts! besides your version could be right, it's a matter of interpretation I suppose lol

Things as olde as that really ring home....as sometimes you feel gambling addiction is a new problem ...yet its millnellia old.

I watched a really old film called the gambler (haven't seen the new one yet) but was eye opening how the traits are the same even if the fashion was more weird and the casino more old skool.

It really is a great analogy....a true one at that........in either interpretation

I have just finished reading Alan Carr's "Easy way to stop Gambling" and an amazing thing has happened, I can actually go into a shop without buying scratch cards. When I started reading the book I was still going into a few of the casino's that I hadn't self excluded from, I have since closed every avenue so that if I wanted to go to a casino I would have to travel for over an hour. It is really hard stopping, especially as I seemed to be really lucky, most times when I gambled I would go up to around £300 - £500 but then always end up losing and then putting more money on. I have worked out that over the 12 years I've gambled I have lost over £30,000.00, at least £5000.00 of this was lost by buying scratch cards, I mean honestly, what was I thinking! I have stuck up the amount of losses on my fridge as a reminder not to go back to gambling. I find reading the forums really inspiring as well, it amazes me how many people are affected by gambling. My payday is next Friday and that will be a real test, I just need to remember that sick feeling when you've lost all your money, I wish I could bottle that feeling and take a sip every time I get the urge to gamble, there is nothing worse than that gut wrenching, sick feeling! the problem is that as payday approaches I normally get these thoughts that this time will be different and that when I get to such and such amount I will cash out but it never works like that, I always end up losing!

I wish everyone the best with their fight to overcome this evil disease! xx