Get rid once and for all!

Hi Everyone,

I'd like to introduce myself and my story and hope that the support here will help me get rid of this illness once and for all! It all started about 10 years ago when online slots were fairly new and exciting. Me and a friend would both put a little £10 or £20 on whilst having a few drinks, usually betting the lowest stake and playing them was fun! Then I started going on the sites whilst alone and still only betting a little spare money now and then but then it got more frequent. I would win about £200 and this would make me think, wow! This is actually pretty good!

A few more years down the line, I would still gamble but kept it a secret from everyone. I was ashamed of it as now it wasn't just the odd £10 or £20, it was probably £80-100 a night. So, I realised this was getting worse and was becoming a problem. I set deposit limits on all of the sites I was registered on so at worse I could put £10 on about 6 sites per day. This was ok, well until I got a new bank card... Something struck me, I can get my welcome bonuses again by re-registering! So, thats what I did and with new accounts came no restrictions.

I continued to waste my money on these sites for a few more years. I got credit cards to fall back on when I wasted all of my money and the cash advance fee put me off using these for gambling, which was a good thing as I could still just about live my lie using those.It did come to a point where they were maxed out and I knew I needed help, so I told my partner the situation I was in, that I'd been gambling and lost a lot of money. I think it was after I'd spent all of my wages within a week of being paid and had no way of paying my bills. So, she bailed me out and I agreed that I would transfer all of my money to her when I got paid and she'd look after my credit cards so I literally have just a bit of cash to get by. And this did work for a few months until I told her I would be fine and took control of my finances again. I lasted probably a couple of weeks until I got back onto the sites starting with a little £20-30 and gradually building back up to where I was before.

A couple more years down the line (about 4 months ago), me and my partner are looking to get a mortgage and buy our first house together. So, we get in touch with a mortgage advisor.. Find a nice house we both like and start proceedings to get a mortgage on a new build. We're told it would be finished in September so plenty of time to get things sorted. We had to get bank statements for the mortgage advisor from the last 3 months. At this point my partner thinks I've quit gambling altogether for at least a year. I got the statements anyway and the advisor came round to process our paperwork and at this point I gave it over there were pages and pages of gambling transactions. He quite simply asked me what they were and I explained. This sealed the deal for the advisor who advised that it wasn't likely we would get a mortgage with those transactions and especially that many of them!

So, after the argument with my partner and me trying to explain myself (unsuccessfully) I thought enough is enough and vowed not to gamble anymore! I'd just ruined our chances of moving into our house because of my habit! I emailed the mortgage advisor and asked if I re-applied in 3 months time with no transactions on my statements, would I be successful then? To which he replied it would be very likely. So that sealed it for me - No more Gambling or No house!

This worked, I stopped gambling. I started seeing my money build up in my account because I hadn't wasted all of my income and I had money to spare even after giving my partner money for our savings. It was awesome and I was determined to get this house sorted for both me and my partner. I used some of the spare money I had building up to go on a last-minute trip to spain with my mother and sister to visit my grandmother who lives out there which was nice.

A month or two down the line, we find out we're expecting our first child which is due at the same time as the house is complete. So, after much deliberation I call off the house buying process as I thought there would be too much going on at once.

So, one evening about a month ago.. I think a little £20 wont hurt as there's nothing stopping me now, no one needs to know. again, it spiralled out of control over the next few weeks until I realise once again I have no money straight after pay day. This is the first time in months and I still have bills to pay. So, I got a loan and paid off all of my credit cards and other debts which are now consolidated into this one debt which also left me with a little bit to spare to get me through the month.

I find myself using this money to try and win more money. At this point I am depositing between £700 - £1k a night! Sometimes I would win back what I staked, sometimes I would just keep chasing the losses until finally i'd have to wait until my withdrawals come through and then I'd do it all again.

I'd think to myself right, "It owes me £300 now", "it owes me £500 now" etc.. giving myself this stupid target of breaking even for that day which seems stupid when you think about it as I could have just not bothered and been at that position. It was just the thrill of the chase for me I suppose.

I am at the point now where I have £2 bank balance and £1200 pending withdrawals and cannot afford to put that back into the game. It is a lot of money but when I'm spinning away at £5 a spin, its nothing to me, It is a very very strange addiction and I want RID of it once and for all!

Sorry for the essay, but I wanted to share my story and get it off my chest. I hope this is the first day of the rest of my happy life with my partner, daughter (due in september) and a year or so down the line a new house.

Thanks for listening! 🙂