Groundhog Day

Hi skinyflint13, absolutely right there are things a lot more important than money and time with family is one of them. You won't get lost time back but you can move forward and don't lose any more time put family first. I'm lucky in some ways I was all consumed with motherhood and gambling for me was bingo once a week my problems came when my son hit his teenage years he obviously was less dependant on me and my gambling took off. I could sit here and say that I never lost time with my son because of gambling but I would be lying and I'm not lying anymore. Last year of my gambling I would be watching my son play cricket or football...but was I really watching?  I know I missed catches wickets runs etc as concentrating more on gambling on my phone and for that I feel guilty. I can't correct that, ,but this year I stopped gambling June 4th and due to covid we had a belated season starting end July and I can say I was fully present for his games and saw him achieve playing for the county cricket side. I can't get back those missed things but I can make sure it doesn't happen again. Keep strong and commit fully to give your time to your family you won't regret it. Be thankful for each day that you don't gamble

Charlieboy, we can’t change the past,  but we can have a massive say on our future.

Cherish the moments with your son, share his interests and be there, you’ve made a great start, devote time to your family, what you give back to them will indirectly heal you !

keep the faith and keep in touch.

22 days and still feeling strong, keep thinking back my gambling behaviour, running to a cash machine and back into the bookies, placing. Alarge bet in one shop and running to another to see the race as I didn’t want the first shop to see me lose!

playing roulette, knowing my parking meter is about to run out, but feeling compelled to play, knowing I’m going to get a ticket, but the attraction to gambling was too strong to leave the shop.

I know I’m a addict and everyday is a challenge but I really want to keep away, online GA meeting tonight always strengthens my resolve.

Hi skinyflint, I too find GA gives me the strength I need for the week ahead, if I can't do a session I miss it and the guys that are not only fellow compulsive gamblers but people that I'm forming friendships with.  When you were saying about your gambling behaviour I had a flashback to mine at the start of the pandemic / lockdown I was terrified of catching covid but.....several times I went to the bank sweating because I was scared wearing a mask with hand sanitizer in my bag and wipes to clean the keyboard with just so that I could deposit money to gamble with. It really is twisted isn't it ?? 

Hi, you mention how twisted this all is.....I’ve also been worried about health and virus and have been very careful, but totally lost the plot 9n a number of occasion when I’ve stayed in the bookies for hours, a small enclosed space with numerous individuals, I’ve recognised this but my urge to gamble kept me in the shop......on reflection we risk our health, our relationships, our careers to gamble, I can’t turn the clock back, but I can look forward with a strong desire never to return.....ps........28 days gambling free!

33 days gamble free....great position to be in, but I’m so aware that I could easily slip and be back at day 1.

I’m a different man when I don’t gamble, lots of time for my family, money in my pocket and a different outlook on life...but there’s always something in me that wants to destroy it all, stand in a bookie for hours gambling away my life.

watched a film last night called ,beautiful boy, about a young man with a drug addiction, so many parallels to gambling, I recommend it to you all, it really shows what an addiction can do to someone.

pleased to be at day 33 ?

39 days gamble free today, the sad realisation is although I’ve lost hundreds of thousands, I can slowly make the money back and rebuild my finances, what I will never get back is the time I’ve wasted gambling, the time I could have spent with my family, my children, my career...that is a loss I will never get back!

Hi skinyflint, it is indeed a very horrible realisation and one that will always stay very uncomfortable, but we cannot change the past as much as we'd like to. The only thing you can do is move forward and do your best to make amends, I use the memory of my behaviour as a reminder that gambling in that way is wrong( I say in that way as for some people gambling can be just fun) and that there is no place in my life for gambling of any sort. Move forward skinyflint really enjoy your family time and be thankful as I am that we have survived this with our families as many compulsive gamblers don't ...

53 Days gamble free.....every day is a challenge and I know I can easily slip back. But for now I remain strong.

Well done 50 days is amazing as long as you have blocks thay helps for the times when you may have an urge or a struggle but it sounds like your doing so well x

66 days, walked past a few bookies and was compelled to look in , but did not enter, had a few urges, burnt still feeling strong...my next milestone is Xmas, actually got money to buy presents and plan for the holiday, , it’s great to have money in my pocket and be on a level rather than great highs and lows.

Dear skinyflint13,

Well done for resisting the urges....and you are feeling the positives of being gamble free too- Keep going!

Best Wishes

Fiona

Forum Admin

Christmas Day and still gamble free....my next target is my birthday in February...small steps keeping thins in perspective, financially I’ve never been better, mentally I don’t have the stress associated with gambling or losing money...I know I can easily slip back into my gambling despair, so it really is one day at a time....for the first time In 30 years I’m enjoying Christmas .

Still happy to be gamble free, next target is my birthday in February.

Today my thoughts are about irrational behaviour, gambling and losing vast amounts is bad enough, but before I stopped i was spending prolonged periods in the bookies, there were many other people in there, strangers and I knew the risk was high, but I chose to stay and gamble, we put our very life’s in jeopardy to chase a bet!,,,

take one day at a time, and look forward, we can’t change the past, but we can make a better tomorrow, there is no magic formula, but I do recommending posting on the forums, I look at how many people start posts but never return, have they fallen back into gambling ? I feel as if we’re accountable to each other, if one fails we all share the despair.

Hey skinyflint, you're doing good, your mood is quite reflective which is good if you use it in a positive way . I use memories as a healthy reminder of where I was 7months ago and where I am now, we can't erase what we've done and neither should we. Use past mistakes as part of your barrier to gambling that's what I do and it works well for me. My thought process is changing and how I view my life is changing for the better so I use my memories as a " I'm not going back there" life is better now and life for my loved ones is better now. What peaked my interest in your post was your thoughts about irrational behaviour and that really resonates with me and something that I'm quite ashamed of. I'm terrified of covid and would go to great lengths to avoid any of us contracting it, however my need to get money into the bank so I could gamble online was so intense that I would wait in a queue for the bank in tears, terrified, not looking at anyone to deposit money . So bad but as uncomfortable as those memories are I use them as a reminder how ill I felt back then and how determined I am to keep barriers firmly up and not revisit that. And yes absolutely by doing these things we can give ourselves a better future, your making great progress well done keep going