Hi there folks, new member here. I joined this forum because I know I have a problem with gambling. My problem has become bad in the last 6 - 12 months. After reading so many other posts on here I realise I am not alone and actuallly talking about it makes me feel better and I've taken great encouragement from members success stories on here which has given me a bit of hope and belief that I can do this.
I started playing the fruit machines in pubs for "fun", just whatever loose change I had in my pocket to begin with but then after a while I would start feeding notes into them. I would happily put £60, £70+ into a fruit manchine just to win the £100 jackpot and to be honest I used to get the jackpot fairly often. I stopped seeing the fruit machines as a challenge so I started on the dreaded FBOT's mostly in the bookies, but also the seaside arcades, high street amusement places, bingo halls and even Motorway service stations. Always the popular slots though, never been into the roulette games. I'd play £2 stakes, Hi Roller bets too, just incase that next spin was the big one... it wouldn't happen very often though and more and more often I found my leaving one of the above places with no money and no more in the bank to withdraw until payday. More recently though I turned to online gambling, again the slots. At first I did ok on a couple of sites, ended up with a couple of thousand just before Xmas and I thought this rather easy, I wonder how much more I can make. Well, the answer was not a lot, slowly but surely I started to lose, and lose a lot and wouldn't think twice about doing a grand in over the space of a few hours online during the night when my partner is sleeping.
Since the turn of the year I have worked out that I have lost 7-8 thousand pounds playing FBOT's or online gambling. I know its absolute madness what I did and while I was depositing money into an online site or feeding notes in an FBOT a voice in my head would constantly be saying, you shouldn't be doing this and I knew that I shouldn't but I just couldn't stop myself from playing. Three weeks ago I lost £1500 in a high street arcade with FBOT's, I walked out the place and it was daylight, I'd been in there all night! I walked to my car, sat down and I bawled my eyes out. I didn't want to go home as I was too ashamed, I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me, my Mrs phoned me worried something had happened to me due to the time of day it was and I came clean to her about my problem there and then, she's been great and very supportive. We've just bought a house and we have a 3 month old son as well, I feel like I've let him down badly with this addiction, as well as my Mrs. So l got paid yesterday and the first thing I did when the my wages went in the bank was open up another online account with one of the few sites I've not excluded myself from (I have now though) and gambled another £1100 into oblivion without even thinking, my Mrs doesn't know about that though. Luckily this time I stopped in time and I do still have some money for the rest of the month and all my bills like the mortgage and things came out yesterday so I shouldn't be short but its going to be a long 4 weeks thats for sure. I'm so annoyed at myself, again the little voice in my head told me not to do it but as usual I chose to ignore it.
I've read people posting on here saying to forget about the money you've lost today, last week, 2 months ago etc as its gone and never coming back. I'm trying to do that but every so often it pops into my head and makes me both angry and sad but I can totally see the logic in it!
I've ordered the book by Alan Carr, the easy way to stop gambling so hopefully reading that will help me too. This may sound silly but I can't stop thing of the line in the Squeeze hit Up The Junction, "The devil came and took me, from bar to street to bookie" and that pretty much sums me up to be honest. Onwards and upwards though, one day at a time, I'm determined to beat this!
Thanks for reading.
Supersonic.
Hi there supersonic and welcome to the site. Your story is all too familiar my friend but that’s why this site can help-people have gone through this on here. I had the biggest win on my life and it could have changed my life If I didn’t go chasing the next 1000. I have also like you lost money over time and that’s definitely life changing. You have to think of all the hours you have worked and done weekends and nights etc etc to lose it to gambling for moments of madness. You lost 1100, think how many hours you had to work to get that, I’m on 15 quid an hour which is great money but I can lose what you have to in 30 mins and that’s 73 hours of working for nothing. Stay strong and keep posting mate it really does help
Losingcolour92 wrote:
Hi there supersonic and welcome to the site. Your story is all too familiar my friend but that’s why this site can help-people have gone through this on here. I had the biggest win on my life and it could have changed my life If I didn’t go chasing the next 1000. I have also like you lost money over time and that’s definitely life changing. You have to think of all the hours you have worked and done weekends and nights etc etc to lose it to gambling for moments of madness. You lost 1100, think how many hours you had to work to get that, I’m on 15 quid an hour which is great money but I can lose what you have to in 30 mins and that’s 73 hours of working for nothing. Stay strong and keep posting mate it really does help
Hi Losingcolour92 thanks for the reply, I intend to keep posting and talking about it really does help. I had a few urges yesterday and never gave in, spent the day with the Mrs and kid and had a good time. Getting over my loss the other night night is proving a tad tricky though, by the end of this week I will hopefully be feeling better though. One day at a time.
Just had a relapse!! I feel so ashamed of myself, I got drunk just blew £500 online, I tried to stop myself but I just couldn't, its a week until pay day, I'll be able to pay the £500 when I get paid but I know shouldn't have done but I did, it was like some monster inside of me keep saying do it, do it ad I gave in. Too scared to tell my Mrs in fear of what she will say. I really just want to sneak out the house and disappear and hope a hole swallows me up! I was doing so well and I blew it. f**k!!!!
Hi Supersonic,
One piece of advice I have for you is join Gamstop. It doesn't take long to register with them online and you can use their online chat for assistance if you need it. They take all of your details and the end result is you will be banned from using any online gambling site. I signed up recently and tested it, I literally cannot log into any of my accounts or create new ones with online sites I find. You need to put these measures in place to make it impossible for you to access these sites. Not sure if you've seen my thread on the intro forum but this is exactly what I did. You will need to ban yourself from the bookies as well, as like all CG's you try to find another route to gamble. This would involve visiting the bookies and filling out a form, providing a photo etc. It might seem like a fuss but if you really want to stop gambling it's very much worth it.
I know how you feel bud. You feel ashamed and the butterflies in your stomach are literally eating you alive. I, like you, gambled very recently and I haven't told my partner as I know she does not want this behaviour to be part of her life. This is killing me...not just because deep down I know I am lying to her and she does not deserve that but also because I don't have enough funds now should an unexpected bill come in or something along those lines. That said, I had a bad episode and I intend on making it my last one. If I relapsed I would have to tell her. On this matter I would say you need to speak with a close friend or perhaps a trusted family member though as you can't keep it all to yourself.
Do yourself a favour mate, stop chasing those losses. They're gone and the best way to get them back is to not gamble.
All the best,
Flutter.
Just made a real boo boo, Just lost £900 in a matter of hours online. I have just this minute finished registering for gam stop and I'm hoping that will go some way to stop me doing something stupid inthe future. Its xmas day, I should be sleeping ready to wake up to my sons first xmas, instead I was blowing all my money online like a total clown. I get paid in 2 weeks and I have £100 left to last me, not sure how I'm going to manage to be honest. This is a horrible disease.
I feel your pain. It happened to me exactly one year ago . Good news is that it can be beaten and you need to put all the blocks in place . Wouldn’t get too hung up on the money £100 left for 2 weeks . When we gamble we can live on virtually nothing for normal living . Once you get to payday and don’t gamble again you will feel like you have had a big pay rise . Ask yourself what you have achieved by just gambling . If you had won money would you have stopped ? The answer is probably no .You have to write this latest loss off and move forward . Good luck !!
Bryan wrote:
I feel your pain. It happened to me exactly one year ago . Good news is that it can be beaten and you need to put all the blocks in place . Wouldn’t get too hung up on the money £100 left for 2 weeks . When we gamble we can live on virtually nothing for normal living . Once you get to payday and don’t gamble again you will feel like you have had a big pay rise . Ask yourself what you have achieved by just gambling . If you had won money would you have stopped ? The answer is probably no .You have to write this latest loss off and move forward . Good luck !!
Thank you for your words Brian, its always good to talk to others who can relate to your issues. Tried logging into my accounts that I had with an online bookmakers, GamStop has worked my accounts are frozen which is great, I chose the 5 year option as well. I feel better now as I can't sit in the house gambling money I don't have. I have also self excluded myself from bingo halls and online casinos too. Will be banning myself from high street bookies next. As you say, I'll take this loss on the chin and start again and hopefully not fall into the trap again but with the blocks in place I'm confident I can do this.
Good steps but it’s really not only about the blocks . I’m a big believer in changing your mindset to become a non gambler . Not just someone who has turned the tap off for a bit because of blocks . Once you get to payday and don’t gamble , you will soon be onto the next one . Before you know it the fog clears and everything does get better . Wishing you well on your progress you can’t do anymore than you are now to stop so look at that as a positive
I feel your pain. I have been gamle free for 169 days now. I also have a daughter that is 3 months old. I cannot let myself sink back anymore. the thought of her just doesnt let me. Try to think about the time you are loosing with gambling not only the money, your mental health and well being.. Let the money alone. Try not to think about what has been done. its hard. thats why I am here today. I had those horrible thoughts today at work all day, how horrible and stupid I am. I dont have the urge to gamble but just what I have lost, the money the lying , the thieving. I just think I am an evil person and so on.. maybe I am I dont know. But none of this is our fault. yes. we have a choice, but we made a mistake.. sometimes our minds dont let us think they just react a certain way. best regards
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