Help

Hi Fated you have done the right thing by writing about it on here and reaching out for help. I can see its not easy to make sense of it when your job involves gambling but it looks like you have gone too far with this other persons money. I am no angel and dont claim to be, all I can say is try and get counselling and attend a GA meeting, talk about it with someone, do anything to halt the destructive habit. All the best

Fated wrote:

However I find myself when it comes to horse racing and betting I have no ability to stop.

i have put myself into financial difficulties and recently have been given a chance to help myself with this by putting bets on for people on accounts I have that are allowed significant sums on due to my losing and taking a % of winnings from these winning punters. This was fine until today when i have decided to start gambling with one of these persons winnings. I have lost almost half of what they are owed which is a significant sum. I find myself at that point where I know I need to stop but can hear the devil in me saying you can win it back. I know deep down by carrying on betting I will make this situation even worse if I lose but how do I face this and explain what I have done?

Help.........

I would try to recognise that chasing losses will not end well. Admitting what you you have done is the least worst course of action.

I gamble on a range of things and whilst some are more destructive than others, in essence they are all part of the same problem and one leads to another.

I would suggest there is a marked difference between your (successful) work and your (unsuccessful) gambling I would try and get some perspective on the successes of these two things. Stick with your job, do not confuse your success in the financial markets with the ability to beat bookies.

I hope this does not sound critical, it is only meant to be encouraging.

Stay strong.

Also just as a sidenote, professional sports betters who are unable to place their own money with bookies know the risks they are taking when giving money to someone who loses enough to have the bookies take the bets that they themselves are unable to place.

It does not excuse you, but they are aware of the risk of what they are doing. To re iterate, stopping chasing losses now is the best thing to do.

Thanks for the responses. I know I have to stop and have had long periods of not gambling with no interest. I have got myself into a horrible situation where the only outcome will have to be honesty. I realise I am probably fortunate in that I can make this money in other ways for the person although that does not excuse my behaviour. I only hope it isn't too late.

Hi, Fated,

I'm from the other side of the fence but my husband had a decent job in the city pre Credit Crunch and it introduced him to out-of-control spread betting, on sports and on financials. His argument was that city traders and fund managers do gamble ie invest for a living and what he was doing was investing. Except that he couldn't recognise a spread betting loss if it hit him.

From my point of view, the losses, lies and addictive behaviour were the same as any other gambling, or possibly worse, on a FOBT, at least you don't lose more than your deposit. In a nutshell, my husband has the same problem as you and his fellow CGs at GA: he can't win because he can't stop. And when his savings ran out and he moved onto the children's, he didn't make it back in six years. Because he couldn't stop. Yet when we married, he had integrity, he was not the sort of person who would steal his children's savings. Spread betting corrupted him.

My husband now works in a different industry, not related. But I would be very opposed to him going back to the City, instinctively I don't think it would be healthy for him as a CG in recovery. Happily for us, it's not a choice that has arisen. For you though, you're not alone in having succumbed but possibly some hard choices ahead. This addiction does lead to dishonesty.

CW

I am sorry but I may have missed the point here...You have gambled with someone else's money, lost it & are hoping that making it up in some other way is a potential solution? If that's the case then wake up, what you have done is committed a crime! You have stolen from your customer for your own ends! You haven't 'acted like a thief'...You are one! Making money for them 'some other way' is what you should have been doing in the 1st place so by all means get on & do that but in the meantime, you need to figure out how to pay every last penny back out of your own d**n pocket! I appreciate this is an addiction & you need support but seriously, this is not acceptable! Phone Gamcare, get some help, speak to your customer but for goodness sake, don't touch another penny! If I were your boss, I couldn't have you in my company, you have crossed the line here (maybe not Nick Leeson style but that was my immediate thought) & the safest option for you is to not have access to this type of money. It being 'too late' may be a saving grace for you! Don't hesitate, shut down all of your 'pleasure' accounts, get on the phone now to Gamcare, you have a massive fight on your hands now keeping a job & getting safely into recovery!

I'm sorry you are hurting but this is all I have to offer you @ the moment!

Sorry I think you are confused I have not taken any money from a company at all. What I was explaining is someone gave me a chunk of money to put bets on for them and initially they won so took the initial amount back and left me with the winnings. It is the winnings I gambled with yesterday. My work is completely separate from this.

Phew, thank goodness for that 🙂 In that case, my advice about not touching another penny stands, as does closing those accounts & the next bit would be to fess up immediately (this addiction thrives on secrecy) & let them know exactly when you will be paying them back!

You may be one of the tiny minority of gamblers that can control some aspect of this addiction but today has proven that you can't be trusted with the horses! Goodness I don't envy you but you have an awful lot to lose if you don't figure this out & fast, I really hope for your sake that today is your rock bottom!

Recovery is hard work but it is absolutely possible - ODAAT

So far.

But would your boss and your compliance people approve if they knew?

Heed the warning against sliding into criminal behaviour. Courts can and do interpret gamblers' "borrowing" as theft. And whilst you don't think you're there yet, it is already questionable that you gambled someone else's money without their knowledge or permission with the intention of making your own gain.

CW

I agree with everything that has been said above. I might as well have stolen and am ashamed of myself for it. Hopefully when I tell the truth the person involved can try to understand and allow me to make it back to them. My initial plan was to try and make a little bit of money and that was a terrible mistake from that point I have chased and that is what has got me in the situation. Quite frankly I want to just disappear and never be seen again.

Get help Fated phone Samaritans and Gamcare, don't suffer in silence. Don't gamble with the winnings any more, it will end in potential disaster. All the best

No, that's no good either. You're not the first, you won't be the last but no one can overcome your addiction for you. Try GA.

CW

Fated,

Correction: you disappearing is no good. As suggested, contact GamCare, or try GA, you do need help from people who understand.

Half Life, as ever, is quite right and her post is spot on. I hinted but she's come out and said it: I agree with her advice to rethink your career.

There is life and success after the City. Back to my husband: although fairly successful in the City he got Credit Crunched, he retrained and however low his gambling throughout, his present career is something worthy of admiration. A good result at work for him now means that he has made a difference on a personal level to individuals. Not that he has received and gambled a bigger bonus.

One other thing: you're not fated. You decide how to act, to gamble or to go into recovery, these are your choices and you are responsible for them.

Wish you well,

CW

I spoke to the phone line this morning and have reached out to my previous counsellor. As i said the biggest obstacle I have now is explaining to the victim of this and that's the scary part.