Hi
I have been gambling for at least 3 years but the last 19months have probably been the worst. I don't even know where to begin to try and stop because if anything is not going right for me I go staight online and wll stay on it for hours or until my money has run out. I don't want to be in debt anymore and I want to enjoy life.
I would say my gambling got bad after my mum passed away 3 1/2 years ago and I don't forgive myself as I was away when it happened. She was the person I would go to talk to about anything and feel like I am still missing part of me. I did manage to go travelling for a bit but on returning I have spent that whole time gambling my wages, and extending overdraft in bank.
Somehow I managed to get on a course at uni but I am a mature student and a lot of the students are younger but I am putting minimal effort in but cant afford to fail as this will be my get out and help me with a lifelong career as it guarentees work. I feel stupid and can not concentrate and everything just seems to be going wrong. I have never been a positive person so trying to get out of this now is going to be really difficult, but I need to do this so I can finally be happy.
I have been to counselling but unfortunately this finished and now I feel like I have no one to talk to.
Where do you start with stopping gambling, I try to exclude myself from sites but manage to find other ways around it and other sites that are not linked to previous ones.
Any suggestions are welcome. Really sturggling!
Hi lea good for you getting on a uni course. Don't let gambling take that away. Download software to block gambling sites or call your provider. Go to a GA meeting. Can someone lookafter your finances? Call gamcare and talk to someone. Get some support.
Thanks for the response. I don't have anyone that can look after my finances, I could do with a savings account that doesnt let me access it. I have spoke to someone on the chat online but I don't feel like it helps, just feel lost right now. How do the GA meetings work, Im kind of scared being in a room full of people and having to talk about problems outloud. Ive looked at some blocking software does it all cost?
Hi lea I think some are free my cg used k9, use a random number as passwords so you can't remove it. GA meetings are run by fellow compulsive gamblers. Some have been there many years. It's 2 hours with a break. It's 12 steps. You speak if you want to. It's tough at first but once you realise that's where you need to be it's very helpful. Some, many don't like them. It's up to you if you want help and support. Stopping alone is hard. A basic bank account might help you.
Lea,
If you are on your own then GA is a very good option. The meetings I attend don’t push the 12 steps and we very rarely read the literature in the books. It’s usually an open discussion about people doing well or needing help and support. Like Merry Go Round says you don’t even need to speak if you don’t want.
Don’t let this addiction ruin your future and career because it will. Well done for coming on here. If you need help go the GA route and give it at least 3-4 meetings before deciding if it’s for you.
On-line was my downfall. So I really related to your opening paragraph. Sorry to hear about your mother but she wouldn’t want to see her soon suffer in any way so get help my friend don’t go trying to fight this addiction on your own. Everything said in GA is in confidence. To me my secret life of gambling was a personal thing but when I needed to speak to someone cos I was in trouble, GA and it’s members were excellent. All in the same boat.
All the best.
Thank you for your messages and I know I need to put myself out of my comfort zone to get out of this situation. I can't do this alone, I was in a relationship for 6 years and that ended recently so now my main focus needs to be me and what I need to do to make myself happy and feel better, it's the getting started I find hard.
Do you generally just turn up to the GA meetings or do you have to book on to it? There is one in the same town where I study at uni so it should be easy enough for me to go.
Fingers crossed this will help me get on the right path.
Hi,
Just turn up at your local GA meeting my friend. At mine I was greeted by one of the members and we spoke outside for 30mins about both our gambling problems. Believe me it was so inspirational and therapeutic I was at peace within minutes of being a nervous wreck. I then answered my 20 questions from the GA literature and we spoke further. I will never forget this moment, nor the guy who made it so special for me..... Then I entered my first meeting.... and it was everything I wanted and more.
I guess it don’t need to say anymore. If you need help GA is the only option IMHO.
All the best.
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