Here goes...

Hi Louisa, it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I was petrified. I couldn't get my words out each time I went to mention it for over a week. What I had to do in the end, was stay away for the night, compose a big email to my mum, dad and partner, explaining everything and apologised etc. But they took it well, obviously they will be shocked and disappointed, but they will support you massively. I don't know whether giving them a night to come to terms helped me, but when I returned the next day they were very calm, and more than anything glad they now knew why I had been miserable.

Can't lie my partner has left me, but I've regained the bond with my parents, seen all my friends that I hadn't seen for months/years, and living with a clear conscience is soooo much better.

I hope your partner see's through it and sticks by you, best of luck !!

Thank you for replying and so pleased that you got through it.

I'm genuinely scared about what's to come. I began self harming a few weeks ago and yesterday I had began to question life, I think this alone will push my partner away, him and my daughter are the reason I haven't and I'm scared where my mental health will lead me when I come clean.

My grandfather is on his way over so I think I'm going to tell him first.

He's always been so proud of me and what I have achieved to think I'm about to crush him makes me feel sick. I work in mental health nursing too, supporting many with obsessive behaviours, ashamed how I can give advice but not practice it in my own life.

Hi Louisa, yes great place to start your Grandfather will understand and help you. It will be hard but will feel amazing once it's off your chest and into the open. He will see through the problem and see the real you. I hope once it's out you'll feel a whole lot better about yourself, money isn't a measure of happiness, many miserable millionaires and many very happy people on benefits in the world, it's hard but write off the gambling losses and move on.

You will beat this, practice what you preach, be strong, good luck

Hi Louisa and welcome. The first few days (and sometimes weeks) are the hardest no doubt. Your emotions will be all over the place and you aren't thinking logically at the minute. I came clean (again) about 2 weeks ago and it was the best thing for me and I'm already feeling better without the secrets and lies. My family know I've suffered from this addiction for years although they thought I was doing well for a long time as I hid it so well from them all. I'm split from my partner 6 months due to various reasons which included the secrecy about the debt I'd accumulated a lot of which was gambling losses. My family as a whole have been very supportive even though they don't understand it. Come to think neither do I really, I mean why throw away hard earned money? It's not easy to come clean but in my opinion it's the only way to go regardless of the reaction. Of course there will hurt and disappointment but it's better to get it done now as opposed to a few months down the line and in even more financial trouble.

Well done on coming on here for help, it shows you want to change and you will get plenty of advice and support!

Thank you so much!!! I did it, I told my grandad, I could see he was disappointed but he said i had done the bravest thing of my life speaking up. He got very upset over the self harming but is going to support me through the next steps, I'm going to get myself a little more stable and then tell my fiancГ©. He has struggled with depression for years and also has dyspraxia and ocd, I'm always the strong one and it will really knock him and I need to make sure I can hold the control again for our daughter. Best thing I ever did was join this site, less than 48 hours when I thought my life was over, I've already found hope.

Thanks again for your support, until writing this post this morning i was already question my decision to speak up.

Hope I can help others the way I've received xx

Thanks deano!

You spoke words of wisdom

Onwards and upwards from now, new focus is finishing my cognitive behaviour therapy course I'm training in, hopefully I can give back more xx

Hello Louisa

You sound like you have the whole world on your shoulders but you have done the right thing by coming on here. You now have a good support network on here and I am so pleased you told your grandfather. Let him come to terms with what you have told him then perhaps take him with you when you tell your partner or the rest of the family. We are the parents of someone with a gambling problem and it took them to hit rock bottom before they finally confided in us. I will not lie - it is hard and shocking for everyone when it all comes out in the open - and all very emotional. However, once it is out in the open there seems to be a great weight lifted off all shoulders because there is now an explaination of why they have not been themselves and now the person gambling can freely ask for help and advice and get the ball rolling to beat the problem. It is always better to tell people when the atmosphere is calm and it is a good idea to tell them about this site and assure them you have already started getting help by coming on here. Although the support is brilliant on here sometimes it is also good to have face-to-face support like your grandad to help you with daily life. He may be able to help you with practical things like helping you manage your finances so it makes it more difficult to be tempted to gamble. You can ring the professional counsellors on here and they will be able to give you advice on self excluding from sites and your problem in general. Once you start talking to people and writing things down you will start to feel a lot better.

Good luck