Hey,,,time to change

Hi logsta69, and welcome to our ever growing family !.

If you've stopped before then already you clearly know how this all works ?, if you don't or need any advice then just ask .

There's loads of advice from people who know exactly how you feel right now , no judgements on here , only support so whenever you need to talk your way through any urges or just tough crappy day's , then fire away my friend !.

As you said in your post you have lost far more than you have won , so in fact you haven't won anything at all ? and thats the nature of the compulsive gambler " we cannot win because we cannot stop " , it's just a cycle of win, lose , chase and we only truly win once the cycle is broken !.

Best wishes on your recovery and keep posting , were always here !.

Regards ...........................Alan

Hello,

If you want a different outcome then you have to act differently this time. Think carefully about what you need to do differently - and then do it! Actions count, intentions aren't enough.

Do you still have a smartphone? If you're serious about stopping, ditch it for a non Internet version. Are all of your other devices effectively blocked? Have you self excluded?

Do you still have Visa cards for deposits plus money in your current account? Do you have arrangements in place to move your money out of harm's way on pay day?

Have you told your family? Gone back to GA?

None of these measures are easy but they do make the difference.

Wish you well,

CW

Hello Alan135 and Cynical Wife

thanks both for your encouragement and words of advice.

its true that I know how this works and 'should' know how to do it again as I have been through this before. I guess its about learning more how and why I gamble - warts and all. My sitaution is a wee bit different as my day to day job consists of helping people who have problems and yet I dont seem to be able to help myself at times. This is one of my main problems as I know exactly what some of the theory is i.e CBT but dont seem to be able to apply this to my own situation.

I have cancelled all my online accounts and asked my main provider (no names offered) to bar me from rejoining their betting site, I have to say this was a bit of a problem as they were relunctant to do this. I wonder if anyone else has had simlilar experiences?

I have also changed cards recently (reported them stolen etc) and confided in a close friend. I dont feel ready to tell family as I fear they will look badly upon me as it will resurface old wounds from the past. I know this is a risky strategy as its better out there......but one step at a time. Most of my gambling occurs through my laptop and/or ipad so the Smartphone is an issue. The whole internet gambling issue is a massive problem......effectively you have a betting shop/casino in your living room!!!

Nonetheless, thanks again for your support....it really helps

whats your stories...where are you with your recovery journeys?

thanks

Hi again logsta, you do seem to know what you have to do , maybe installing blocking software on the ipad/ laptop may be worth considering , or even downgrade your phone to a non internet version ?.

As for my story, another few days and will have gone 100 days without a bet ! but that comes after 35 years of trying to win big. Never felt much of a problem until a few years ago and started playing the Fobt's in the bookies , lost thousands on them and a big chunk of my life to boot !. The money can be replaced but not my wasted life unfortunately !.

Am enjoying recovery and the whole gamble free , regaining my life bit as well . Some great people on here and I'm sure you will find that out for yourself , if your planning on sticking around ?.

I hope you make the right choice and do, as you and your life will be much richer for the experience !

Talk to you soon my friend , Regards .............................Alan

Half-Life wrote:

Hi logsta

If any of the companies give you grief about self excluding a threat to report them to the Gambling Commission should get them back in their box. Worth pointing out too they are violating their own policies on reponsible gambling. You should also be able to SE permanently although we have just had an argument with one who reared their ugly head with a new marketing initiative (despite Mr HL having excluded himself a while back) and have only allowed five years which is infuriating.

All that said if you've managed three years in the past you know what works. If you can't block your devices, ditch them. Time to get back on the horse.

Thanks Half Life

This was a major firm...think they realise how much I was betting! Now its me who has to realise and think I have this time. This is now Day 2 without gambling and hopefully the second of many to come.

I will have a look at the sofware

thanks again

ALAN 135 wrote:

Hi again logsta, you do seem to know what you have to do , maybe installing blocking software on the ipad/ laptop may be worth considering , or even downgrade your phone to a non internet version ?.

As for my story, another few days and will have gone 100 days without a bet ! but that comes after 35 years of trying to win big. Never felt much of a problem until a few years ago and started playing the Fobt's in the bookies , lost thousands on them and a big chunk of my life to boot !. The money can be replaced but not my wasted life unfortunately !.

Am enjoying recovery and the whole gamble free , regaining my life bit as well . Some great people on here and I'm sure you will find that out for yourself , if your planning on sticking around ?.

I hope you make the right choice and do, as you and your life will be much richer for the experience !

Talk to you soon my friend , Regards .............................Alan

Hi Logsta - well done on deciding enough is enough, hopefully you will get back on track, how easy/hard did you find stopping last time. There are lots of lovely people giving good advice on this forum, if your having a bad day or need to have a moan or to shout out you've had a good day there's always someone to listen and reply. Good luck to you. -wcid

Hi Alan

thanks for your tip,,,software etc and for sharing some of your story. Its amazing you have gone 100 days and counting. This really is an amazing achievement. What has been your biggest driving force, I know its different for different people. Your right to say the money can be replaced but do you really believe you have wasted your life?

How did you start gambling? I posted on another thread earlier as for me, I think I started when I was just over 5 years old. This sounds strange but I can remember standing at the machine where you drop money into hoping to win thatbig pile of money lying at the end! it never happens just like other gambling activities. 35 years is a long time, think I've been serious gambling for about 26 years or so ( 3 years in recovery aside).

thanks again for your encouragement,,,it really helps

What can I do wrote:

Hi Logsta - well done on deciding enough is enough, hopefully you will get back on track, how easy/hard did you find stopping last time. There are lots of lovely people giving good advice on this forum, if your having a bad day or need to have a moan or to shout out you've had a good day there's always someone to listen and reply. Good luck to you. -wcid

Hi WCID

Thanks for your reply and your kind words. I guess the first time I managed to stop was about recognising that I had a problem and changing my habits surrounding this. This actually resulted in me changing career also and going back to university. When there, I really had no time to spend in betting shops (there wasnt online betting back then) as I had lots of reading etc to do. So keeping busy and distracted really helps.

I read your post earlier and made some comments. It also pays to undertsand what type of gambler you are - undertsnading the problem and all that. Hopefully your son will realise this and finally bring his head above the parapit. My mum would often bail me out when times were hard (I owed money to people) but she soon stopped all of that and I realised I had to change.

I hope you and your son manage to get through this

take care

Hi again , My biggest driving force has been me !

Simply put , I want not to gamble , more than I want to gamble , I'm sick and tired of the constant Win, Lose , Chase and all those sleepless nights worrying where moneys coming from to pay for the basics of life , that sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach while waiting for some pretend ball on a pretend roulette wheel to pop into my number , or usually not in my case !

I feel much more at ease with life since giving up , everything seems a lot calmer and I definately have more time to devote to my family , thats where I feel the wasted part of my life has been almost like not being in the room when I should have ?.

You can always pick up on peoples stories on there recovery diary's , mine's under " in the beginning " .

I think my gamblings always been about running away from stressfull situations instead of dealing with them, I look back at some of the gambling binges and can definately see a pattern there , I believe there's an underlying reason we all do this , it just takes a bit of digging to find it !.

I haven't posted for a few days after a rough weekend emotionally. I have been to hell and back after playing lots of different games but did manage not to have a bet!!! thats great but why did it not feel good????

I know the answer to this, I'm conditioned by gambling now and only have good feelings when I win! I did try to keep myslef busy and do things about the house, which I suppose did help in some ways. I now know the weekend is the worst time for me and I will try to spend more time with people I care about - in the past I have only cared about when I would get my next bet on. I am now approaching my first week of being bet free....I am thinkiing about a diary as reading other posts (such as Alan's ) can help...maybe give it a try. The hardest part of this weekend has to be meeting a friend on Sunday who told me he had just lifted over a £1000 from his football coupen on Saturday. All those rushes and sweaty palms...hard to describe...thankfully I resisted and did not do it. I really hope I can do this

Hi logsta69 , Firstly just wanted to thank you for the compliment you posted on my diary , I just find this place great !, I get as much from posting as I do from receiving comments , def a two way street , It's somewhere to rationalise my dark thoughts and get free therapy when I need it , there's a wealth of knowledge on here and all from first hand experience , whatever's happened to you through gambling someones been there , done that and got the t shirt !.

The beauty of this place is you take what you need , what the moment dictates , then you move on a bit more through recovery . The combination of willpower , of focus on wanting to stop helps but It's the letting go of all the losses thats really allowed me to move on , the "let em keep it " acceptance has changed everything . If I don't want it back , whats the point in going back ?.

I hope things are going well for you my friend ? , not heard from you for a while , so stop being a stranger !

All the best and thanks again ....................................Alan