Hi,
new here and finally succumbed to the reality I need help or at least need to put into place precautions which I knew I should have done already.
i was a bit apprehensive whether to sign up but, seeing how easy it was to sign up to those online casinos, this wasn’t too bad. But I’m glad I’ve taken this step.
Having read quite a few of your personal stories I realised, although I’m not in as bad a place a lot of you, the signs are clear this is where it can easily end up at.
Ive an addictive personality so not surprised something like gambling is getting the better of me. It started years ago, well 9 to be precise after going through trauma and elevated stress levels. The wins helped me briefly forget my pains and reality of the real world. It was fun and to just hit that spin button brought me joy even though very temporary.
strangely I stopped gambling as it was a ‘flutter’ but a few years later (around 2) myself and a reckless colleague downloaded many betting apps and kept sports betting. Losing not life changing money but the repetitive nature and constant deposit frequency was alarming. He noticed this too and then stopped betting after finding out he was to be a father, but I continued on for a few months. After losing consistently I self excluded from the apps for a long period and it worked a charm. I stopped betting and got to the point where it wasn’t even a thought or problem. I had my focus on getting healthy and maintaining positive relationships. It was all under control and has been for many years.
I did have an urge to gamble a few years ago but signed in to a few known apps and re-self excluded any sites I could access. I was proud of myself. My financial situation I wouldn’t say is better but I’ve spent money on experiences rather than slots and sports bets. I’ve a great job that involves travelling around the uk and Europe alone all of the time where I’m stuck in hotels for days removed link It’s not the most social of jobs and it does get lonely and boring on weekday nights. One silly night after a few drinks I stupidly figured out a way to feed my urge to gamble. It unfortunately was pretty easy, especially when you have an addiction laying dormant. I found a whole load of sites I hadn’t used before, signed up and you know how it goes from there, told myself I’d do it for fun and place small bets and not chase losses, set myself time and deposit limits. But I’d just bypass my own rules by finding another site thus having multiple accounts with different set limits etc.
whats scary is that this time around my deposits are getting more wild and frequent! My wins are bigger but my losses even more so… the last 2 months have been terrible (for my financial stability and situation) and in 2 days I pretty much gambled my whole paycheck barring my monthly expenses and bills. I’ve never done this before and the feeling is scaring me. I couldn’t control my urges and kept chasing and chasing….. and chasing and chasing and then bargaining and pleading. I knew I’d over done it, so I again deposit thinking surely I’d hit that bonus and even when I eventually did, I blew it away trying to reclaim my other losses.
That experience has left me feeling like an idiot. How can I blow it all away so quickly??? As I said at the start, my situation is nothing in comparison to what I’ve read but the signs of a problem is evident. I could easily see myself in a worse position than some of you if I allowed myself to believe in the false dream of continuously winning and using gambling as an extra income.
I’ve put blocks on my bank for gambling, self excluded (again) from every site to man and will sign up to every possible gambling stop site to ensure my details are spread globally!!
im blessed to not be in debt and I want to remain that way.
id appreciate any advice on managing my urges as I know my personality type isn’t the best for control and I can spiral at any moment. I’ve had counselling and therapy for my personal issues which can trigger me in many different ways. Needless to say I’ve had a hard life but continue to pull through and keep a brave face.
Other than these tools, can anyone help with the mental side of gambling? Or is that something I should seek professional help for?
I love sports and when I watch them there’s no ‘risk’ if I haven’t placed a cheeky bet on a winner. The game/match doesn’t interest me if there’s no consequence.
sorry for the long post but I needed to get it out as Im ashamed of myself and have an inability to confide with anyone else that I have this problem. The thought of judgement kills me.
again any help / advice would be most appreciated.
Dear Anton,
Sorry to hear how the last 2 months have been, and recognizable for me. I know the feeling very well of keeping depositing, thinking that big win will come. I made me lose massive in just 2 days.
How are you at the moment? Best wishes!
Hi Xcharlotte,
Thank you for the reply. I guess I was just airing out my thoughts and troubles. Feeling ok today, but have that itchy feeling. My days have been so invested in logging into sites to place bets that I'm very idle now. Even watching sports doesn't feel the same. I understand its all part of the process so trying to get back into reading.
The real test for me is when I actually have money available. There's not much I can do due to my recent activities.
I hope you are doing well and coping too.
How are you?
Hey, sorry to hear what you’re going through. I’ve just spent the last 2 days in bed chasing loses, thinking just 1 more deposit (when it’s never just 1 more is it) now I’m £1000 down and can’t afford to pay my rent. This is the worst I’ve ever been, never been so wreck-less to gamble more than I can afford to lose. Feel so ashamed. I was self excluded until 2 days ago when I removed it as the exclusion period had come to an end last November. I’ll be self excluding again that’s for sure as this is so damaging, mentally, physically and financially. That trance like state feeling nervous and unwell hoping for a win to at least break even. It’s not worth it. It isn’t fun. When the fun stops, stop.
I can totally understand about the test when money is available. For me, I am still having a very hard time not to gamble. It is still so going on in my mind. For now it feels like a curse to gamble, but also a curse not gamble because of all the terrible urges that I feel.
Those urges feel unbearable. I hope you are feeling better than I am! All the best
Sorry your going through a hard time and it's good that you recognise the problem you have. It's not that there are people worse than you, these people were you before it became too unmanageable.
I'm in a fortunate position myself, debt free etc... I've been through rehab and counselling sessions but have recently relapsed badly. Financially it's not devastated me but it will i continue.
If you look at like this -when doors are open to gambling and you have a problem with gambling its too easy to gamble. Blocks, exclusions and more blocks, that's all I can do.
When I can't actually physically gamble I feel at peace, the urges are there but I'm safe.
That's my advice ( and to myself). All the best on your journey to a gamble free future.
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