So I have come back totally distraught as usual. I had such a good stint gamble free and over the last 3-4 months I’ve been the worst I’ve ever been. I’m in such a financial mess and although I am on a debt management plan i’m still totally broke. I’ve done the worst thing ever and opened accounts in my husbands name. I always use my own money but deposit through Neteller. I have just excluded from these sites and also told Gamban about this situation who have been very helpful. Recently it’s like I just cannot stop no matter what. I won a lot recently and lost the lot again in a matter of hours. This is the same cycle, I will never walk away with a penny. I feel like I’m doing this to punish myself as I have always had low self esteem, depression, and anxiety. I’ve lost so much time with my kids and family I hate myself. I’ve been gambling for 5 years and the last 4 years have been the worst in my whole life. I’ve just spent my months wages yet again in a day and saw the new year in in tears wishing I could end this hell. Things had got so much better why have I done this 🙁
Hello Liveinhope35,
It is good that you are posting about your relapse; I see that you have posted on several other threads too, so you are reconnecting with the forum, and sharing support here could be a way to get back into your recovery.
How might you feel about calling us on 0808 8020 133, or on the netline? We can help you access free treatment sessions if you like, you could have a choice of local or online or telephone appointments. Our freephone is 24 hours a day now, so you are free to call whenever it suits you.
Take care,
Forum admin.
It's just a number on a screen when you're a compulsive, Ill person. It's just tokens for the next gambling engagement. I have won a years wage many times and lost it all within 6 hours EVERY TIME. Don't let this addiction destroy your precious life because it's a life taker if you don't stop the madness. Cancel your Emails and ring up to cancel every last scratch of information to access gambling. Tell people you have a major problem, take time out to reevaluate your lifestyle. WHATEVER IT TAKES. You need to have a fully committed effort to not destroy yourself as this addiction is ruthless. Find your passion instead of gambling and commit yourself to utilise your precious functionality , to bring you back to normality.
Hi liveinhope 35,
how have you been getting on?
xx
Hi liveinhope 35,
how have you been getting on?
xx
Thank you so much for checking in bless you. I still haven’t gambled it’s 12 days now but then I don’t have the money to do so! To be honest I don’t even feel the urge yet, I am just trying to sort out a plan for my financial mess and build bridges with the family members I owe money to! In the ashamed, guilty, self loathing stage!
How are you? How have you been feeling? X
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