Finally subscribed

You story is so similar to mine. As a 36 year old woman I was always ashamed of this addiction as I grew up thinking it was mainly older men who have a gambling problem. How wrong I was. I’m in 40k of debt and the same as you know it’s a long road to pay this back. Anything has to be better than spending my wages in a day. I understand about making the most ridiculous excuses to borrow money . I am so ashamed of the person I’ve become over the last 5 years. A liar, a manipulator, a depressed mess. I hope we can all help each other out here on the road to recovery. Well done for taking the first step. 

Hi liveinhope35,

yes very similar, I’m almost scared of the person I have become.

I wish you the best of luck in your journey and hope we can support each other 🙂

xx

Hi,

First of all, Happy New Decade. You've made the biggest and best step to have the willpower to come on the site and share your own but ever so familiar story. As I'm sure you're aware, this isn't a quick fix and something that takes a great deal of strength and willpower to battle which I know you possess. Reading the story, I do truly think you've hit rock bottom and have come to the agreement that you are powerless alike the rest of us to this demon.

Have you taken the necessary first few important steps? 

- Handed over control of finances to a partner/close friend or loved one?

- Downloaded blocker software onto your laptop to stop access to online sites?

- Self excluded from all high street bookmakers and casinos?

To me it's so vitally important to reach out the those close to you. You need to be open and honest and share with them what you're going through no matter how low, embarrassed or bad you feel that may be. Those around you will support you even though it may not seem so apparent in the first instance. My parents really struggled for the first period with me but it helped for me to share what I was going through and battle it with them. There is no shame to all this, it's an illness that gets to the most astute and best of us, we are powerless but we can put preventive blockers and fight it day by day. Time really does help and you have to dig in deep.

May I also suggest that you search for your local Gamblers Anonymous sessions. They were a great help where I could speak and listen in an open forum where nobody would judge you and alike people really understood what you were going through. Male, female, young and old, I met so many different people each with their own but ultimately same story. Again I can't recommend these enough.

There is no 'I hope' in this. If you've hit that rock bottom point, accept we are powerless to this demon, really want to make a change and use all the necessary resources, the I hope, will soon turn into I will. I urge you to keep checking into the site and checking in Gamble free. Read other people's stories and things that have helped them, but most of all, keep coming. As long as that head is on the pillow gamble free each night, you've hit the real jackpot.

A couple of things I did in the early stages of my recovery was to write a list of reasons why I wanted to give up gambling (there were many), to make my parents proud of me, to save up for my first house (which I now have) and to meet a significant other (still working on that) just to name a few. Each time I had such a strong urge to gamble I read that list and thought long and hard. Each time, I held strong and thought of the real reasons behind this. It's a simple but powerful method that helped me and I still have it right next to me. Ultimately there's a reason why l*******s has the words Lad and Broke in it's title, it doesn't get much more black and white than that.

I very much look forward to tracking your progress and best of luck with the strong recovery.

AndyJ