How do I stop this gambling?

Promise....Thank you for taking the time to reply in a constructive manner, I appreciate this and you are 100% correct in what you say.

I am addicted to gambling, I have realised this and I want to stop. I do not want to lose a penny more but like all addicted gamblers I am afraid of having a relapse and losing £1000s. I know if this happens I could end up chasing a loss and end up losing £100000 again.

I have paid off all the debts I have and have no mortgage and have about £70000 in a savings account which I want to use as a deposit on a property. I must not touch this money but my fear is a might.

I have not gambled for 7 days now but I still keep thinking of it as I am still tempted to gamble and I find it very very hard not too as I have been winning for the past 2 years. I keep thinking back to the day I had lost £100000 and was in debt and that does stop me gambling as I do not want to be in that position again but I am afraid I might not always be able to stop myself. Will I always feel like this, will I always want to gamble or will these thoughts disappear and this will get easier?

Check out the thread in OPG section, Citibank wont allow gambling transactions so you could xfer to them.

Ypou must be bright enough to realise if you cant stop then you need to cut off the money supply or if you dont trust yorelf get a clsoe friend or relative to take over the finance for you.

BTW this thread is clearly a potential time bomb for mant CG's, its sad you dont get that, sounds to me like your not committed to stopping???

W

Don't hate on this guy, he is only being honest, if we as CG's get irritated by a mere thread than you need to become stronger. I for one am glad someone won their money back

Now what you must do it give control of money to someone you trust, please do this and don't lose that money

Hi. Sorry to be pain but I don`t think that your input in chat to night was helpful. Talking about turning £100 into £1000,000 is frankly beyond me.

Sorry if you think I accused you of lying. It is also not useful to others that are dealing with huge debts that they might have a way out by getting £100 and doing the same.

I am an ex gambler for over 2 decades so I know the score. Gambling is a terrible illness.

Hi cryhavoc and everyone who responded to this thread!

You have all debated the problem cryhavoc has presented here very passionately and have brought forward your views on many aspects of the original post. Thank you for doing so.

There is some common ground you have found with each other: a problem with gambling. And like many others here, cryhavoc, you are now looking to stop.

There are also some discrepancies in your views which seemingly cause a rift between you and affect the communal spirit of mutual support which this Forum enables and supports to the benefit of its members.

The main point being, how cryhavoc presented his story and how this might affect the recovery of other members here.

Cryhavoc, you describe in your post how you gambled for 2 years excessively (18 hours a day, 7 days a week) in order to chase previous losses from gambling excessively which had brought you to a point of seeing no way out.

While you managed to win money back, you are not much further in seeing your way out of gambling. You now want to change this, you look for an exit door out of gambling and you don't find this easy.

Cryhavoc, it's difficult. And considering how engulfed you were with gambling (the hours you describe over a period of two years equal working three jobs) I can see how hard it might be for you to let go of thoughts and references to the money you have won. It's easy to view this as a benefit and as a reason to having gambled or to gamble more.

And I wonder whether this is a pattern, others here may find very familiar in their own experience: Finding good reasons why it might be important to continue to gamble or reason yourself into gambling when you feel urges. A reason which you might employ is that you (or someone else you know or heard of) won before.

This makes me think that there may be a lot more common ground between you than your posts lead to suspect.

Your concerns make much sense. It sounds as though there is an example here how chasing can pay off. I wonder though, is there?

Cryhavoc, in your original post you mention how you've worked hard to win - You've gambled a lot and you won.

Gambling involves luck and chance, in very few cases (poker) an additional element of skill. And, of course, you can win. More often than not, people don't.

You might find it helpful to your recovery to re-focus on your behavior and on what's enabled you to gamble in a manner which consumed your life. What were the costs and what are you looking for now instead? You say that you want to stop. What can help you achieve this? And you might find it beneficial to discuss these issues with other Forum members here.

We often discuss the importance of "accepting losses in order to move on" here. Maybe yours, cryhavoc, is a case of "accepting the win and move on".

In exploring this further, you might also find it helpful to speak with an advisor in private on either the HelpLine on 0845 6000 133 or the NetLine http://secure.gamcare.org.uk/netline/. An advisor can also discuss other support, such as counselling with you.

Kind wishes

Gabriele

HI cryhavoc

The way I see your situation is that you havent won anything at all . You had lost 100K or whatever the actual figure was and you now have it back.. so no win.. you have broken even. You have exactly what you started out with and that has cost you all your time and effort for the past year or so.. and in the process taken you away from living a productive and happy life, focused your mind and brain on nothing but gambling and given you an addiction that is now cruelly pulling you to carry on gambling with the so so tempting thought that you won before so you can win again.

It's good you recognise you have a problem..and you have.. a gambling addiction is actually NOT about the money at the end of the day.. it's about your quality of life, your mental state and happiness.

I have won the last games of poker I played but I came to the conclusion that it was the other effects that playing was having on me that were not worth the money I may or may not win.

Keep posting if you truly want to stop. You will get the support you need.

All the best to you in your efforts to beat this addiction

Lili

Graham...Sorry if I got defensive, no hard feelings.

Gabrielle, thank you for taking the time and effort to reply, your kind and understanding words and advice. I am still trying to come to terms with everything and find it very hard to talk.

Lili, Thank you for being so understanding and not judging me, I just want people to accept that at the end of the day I am no different to anyone else that has a gambling problem and want to give up.

I still find it difficult trying to give up and keep looking at horse racing betting sites each day picking out the winners and entering free tipster competitions but have now gone 2 weeks without a bet.

I know I should not even do this but it has been such a big part of my life for so long it is difficult to give up completely and it does take the boredom out of my life.

Maybe I need a new hobby but unless there is a financial incentive in it I have no desire. Any suggestions?

i cant believe people on here are slating this poor guys post..gambling whether you win lose or chase your losses is an addiction and chances are the money could be lost again...hence meaning this guy has a gambling problem and has every right to voice his concerns on here..

You don't really have to be religious. I was a born again christian when i was a young man but now i think religion is let's say politley, not working for me. But one thing that has struch a chord with me is the deadly sin "Greed." Isn't this what we are all guilty of? Personally i keep trying to think about this and try to thank God for what i've got. Saying that i'm trying to hard to stop gambling and have failed time and time again. It's been a week so far. If there are any religious people out there then please say a prayer for me because although i don't belive in organised religion, i do belive in god. Thank you.

crisiowemony: Thank you for your post, It means a lot. I have stopped posting on here recently because of the feedback I received when I spoke up for the first time ever in my life that I am addicted to gambling.

Because of this I have tried to overcome this on my own. I have closed all my online accounts but still have the small £5 or £10 cash bet in the bookies. I never leave the house with any card and only carry small amounts of cash but it is difficult. I know this is wrong but I haven't lost any money and it is working for me but I guess I will get slated again for doing this?

mulvillm: Can you not just see that I have admitted I have a problem and am desperately reaching out for help. I makes no difference if I have won or lost.

DidNotKnow: I can understand completely, and you are doing a remarkable thing trying to stop when you have succeeded like this in winning your money. If you can do this it will be your greatest achievement, believe me, because their is no stopping point. If you have won your money back by chasing you will always want more.

For the previous poster who doesnt believe the figures my personal ones are as follows: I started really properly gambling 12 years ago and promptly lost my life savings (around £20k). That was around 1998. By 2003 I had it back again. By 2005 I was £70k in debt and on an IVA. By 2007 I had paid that off and was £70k up. By 2008 I was £40 in debt. Last year I put my last £500 on a tennis match and in 2 months had won nearly £500k. 11 months later I have absolutely zero, well about £200 until payday.

The moral of the story is that you will never feel you have enough. I never meant to go as high as I did and I never meant to fall back down but both happened.

The hardest thing is forgiving myself and I am still coming to terms with that. In fact i am a long way off it and actually I have come on this site, and am looking for other sites, to help to find ways to forgive myself, to stop the what ifs in my head.

The higher you go the further you come down and the more painful that will be.

I have never mastered the discipline and money management required and without that i think you will only follow in my footsteps.

Good luck to you.

I do understand this to, but kinda get everybodies points of view on these postings too

I am new to this sight and so far its really helping....well on my way to three weeks of no gambling now!!

I do believe the figures you're talking about and in some ways I think its important to talk about it. Let's be honest, the thought of someone turning 500 in to 500k prob gets us all going!! I'm starting to sweat and get excited about just the prospect of it.....the whole maybe it could happen thing???....but its no more likely than winning the lottery when you think on numbers of that scale.and we all know we'll loose it all again if we carry on so it really makes no difference.....makes me wonder how quickly I'd loose it all even if I did win the lotto if I didn't actually get this sorted properly!!!

What these posts have done is make me realise what a terrible thing this gambling business is and how tempting it might always be. But that makes me even more determined to beat this.

Its great to share all thoughts and experiences on here and i think it all helps. It has reminded me how dangerous it is and has made sure I don't convince myself that I am safe from it without putting in more continued effort.

Thanks all

Ollie

Hi DNK.. Just wondering how you're getting on. Followed your original post last week. Kind regards onlyonewinner

Hi only1winner

Thanks for the thoughts but am keeping a low profile as I think I have upset too many people. Have cut down hugely on the Gambling but still dabble but not lost anything.