I can't keep doing this

Hello... I relate to your thoughts... your not alone.

The trouble with barriers to gambling is that as you close down one way to gamble, you inevitably find another way to gamble. Dealing with the urge to gamble in the first place is the real challenge.

Whatever helps you "not to gamble" keep doing it and keep doing it... as I do the same.

All the best

P.s Mosses is good, but do the exclusions for quite a wide area, so it would take lots of travelling to get to not excluded from bookies

I don't know the details of your income but 35 grand in 9 months seems like a lot for anyone and is probably at the extreme end of what the compulsion is capable of doing to a person 

I would advise seeking professional counselling , I don't know to what extent GamCare offers counselling or if it is literally just a help centre but they should be able to direct you in the right way 

Ultimately you need to know what is causing you too lose control and risk these kinds of stakes 

GL 

Do you have a partner? If so you need to open up to them if you haven’t already. The best thing I did 6 months ago was tell my husband. It nearly broke us but him knowing and supporting me is a huge help. You can do this. You know how bad it makes you feel gambling,  I no longer have that dread and if I can do it anyone can.

Posted by: @xkm6t9wf0o

About 9 months ago I was debt free. 

Now I'm 46.5k in debt again across a few 0% cards and a loan.

At least 70% of this is from gambling. 

I've been a problem gambler for 18 years. I think probably 16 or  17 of those years not gambling. But constant chaotic episodes of gambling for days or weeks or sometimes months where I gamble and then completely lose control and lose everything. 

Im tired of this cycle, I need to quit. I feel so full of shame and guilt, emotional thinking about my children and that I'm a f**k up. 

Im on GamStop, but end up taking cash to bookies and crypto casinos.really nice guy from gamcsre told me about Gamban which I've got on my phone now and also I'm going to do moses tomorow. 

Ive been to GA before. I am going to do more and the online GA meetings as well as "Recovery Road Online" which is meant to be good. 

I just hate myself right now and am sick of this illness ruining my life. It turns me into someone who isn't me and I hate it. 

Please Self exclude for Life thats what i did , i found it hard but its the only way, we are sick with this bad addiction so we need these blocks other wise gambling destroys you.

Please Self Exclude its the only way , i put it off for years but now i'm pleased i done it. best wishes we need theses blocks inplace

Thank you for the replies.

It is a lot of money. My income isnt massive. Only a bit bigger yearly as what my total debt is. 

I am now on GamStop, Gamban and Moses with a very wide area. 

I have already got a therapy session booked in with breakeven which all came from a live chat conversation on gamcare last night. I'm very impressed with the service. 

I've also been to a Recovery Road Online GA meeting today as well as a Debtor's Anonymous meeting on zoom too. 

Feeling better for putting the action in, I have to maintain this though. 

@xkm6t9wf0o just get back to a GA room and keep at it. Don’t just go because you’re in a mess, continue to go when life feels better so you continue to stay well.

It reads like you are a binge gambler so there probably are times when it feels like you are in control but if you can adopt the sentiment that all gambling is off limits plus the continued support of GA you’ll be okay.

The money will sort itself out, it may take time but not gambling will enable you to have some clarity on how you are going to clear the debts.

Good luck 

Chris. 

I am so sorry to hear about this story and I can relate to it. I know how you feel and it is great that you are reaching out. I cannot personally say that I've racked up the size of debt that you have, but I too have borrowed more than I can afford to gamble and it brings uncertainty and feelings of worry too. As a young person, I haven't been gambling for as long but for 4-5 years now I have had a severe addiction, starting with scratchcards, progressing to bookmakers (before the £2 max FOBT stake was introduced) then casino (land-based) followed by online, losing £20,000 in one week before. It brought devastation, upset, all kinds of horrible feelings and it is unsustainable. A great step that you have done is posted in this forum, you are starting the process of recovery already by acknowledging your actions. I respect that and it takes great courage to do such a thing and I want to at least try and help you by telling you that you are not alone.

The best thing I can suggest for now at least is to do the following: GamBan to block yourself from all websites, this will stop you losing more money by chasing losses. Moses will help you self-exclude from local bookmakers and then keep calling the GamCare helpline as their support is excellent. Also, exclude yourself from land based casinos as an extra measure - you can visit any casino regardless if you are a member or not and asked to be enrolled onto SENSE, they have an obligation to do so. I wish you the best in your recovery and take each day one step at a time

@bcgo7t13el Did you do all these things that you are suggesting and where are you in your abstinence?

Chris.

@xkm6t9wf0o gambling is like toxic relationship it may help u out from time to time and u may feel glad it helped u out in the monent while making you fail to see the reason you are in such a mess is because of it and the longer you carry on the more chance it will screw you up more, their a reason why alot of lottery winners go broke that money cursed it dirty money dont give them your hard earned cash forget about your past look to the future