I’m new to this site and have read so many things that I can relate to, it’s made me want to share my story which I am so ashamed of.
I’ve gambled on and off for 10 years but it has become a lot worse in the last few years. I’m in a high paid job and spend the whole of my salary on payday which is £3000 and sometimes bonuses. Once when I got my annual bonus of £20,000, I gambled it in 2 nights. I’ve hidden from family and friends my addiction although I think they know a bit. Somehow that all doesn’t matter, what does matter to me is that I met someone 2 years ago and I have been lying since then, making out that family needed help with money, he leant me over £25,000 to help a family member and paid off some of my debts so I owe him around £60,000. He is not rich this was hard earned savings. I have to tell him that money for friends was a lie, it was for me and I gambled it. I feel ill all of the time at the thought of telling him, he trusted me, went out of his way to help me and all that time I was stealing his money. I’m an awful person and I truly feel like that, I also keep backing out of telling him because I am a coward, if I don’t tell him he is going to find out and that may be worse. Is there anyone that has any experience or tips on telling their partner as I truly love him and didn’t mean any of this. The reason I gambled was because I thought I could win it back, then I just kept getting deeper and deeper in. He needed that money back and I can’t give it to him. I’ve never hated myself as much as I do right now.
@Tinamarie12
your story is unbelievably similar to mine, including the numbers involved and exact monthly salary, and the bonus you blew (mine was £30k though and took to weeks to go).
difference is, while your partner willingly lent you the money, I stole from mine. Makes me sick to my stomach, and she will have to press charges to have any chance of getting the money back as I took it fraudulently. Cost me the relationship and I love her so much and she loved me.
Hi Peter thank you for your reply. I’m sorry what you’ve been through I know exactly how you feel. He did lend me money but then I stole the rest recently, so like you I feel terrible. I love him and I have to admit to him what I have done which is harder than losing the money. Money doesn’t seem to mean anything to me anymore. I can’t bear the hurt I am going to cause when he looks at me and discovers the lengths I went to for my lying, I really did try to cover it up for so long with lie after lie when he trusted me. The money I took was fraudulent but I am going to agree to pay it back I hope maybe you could come to an arrangement. The fool that I am I still feel like gambling, it’s always one last time with me. I can’t bear that he will think of me as a loser.
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