i have to believe

Hi dez 1,

I've been betting for donkeys years with a few breaks of up to four years. Each time I've started again it's been due to a trigger. i lost on the horses online last Saturday and decided to finally do something about it permanently. I'me doing the 2015 challenge on here and by tomorow night i'll have completed six days without betting. Not that i've had much ammo left to bet with after last week. I've put the blocks online (K9 free with someone else setting the password) so I cannot possibly do anymore money that way. Had a few pangs and when I have it's suddenly come to me the blocks are on. You can try GA or get counselling via gamcare. I've taken up some new hobbies in the hope my thoughts will get diverted. I backed horses, football bets & small amount of roulette in the past. You will see other ideas on the forum about how to resist the urges.

Once the bet free days start to go by you will feel more confident in your self about giving up. I think the 2015 challenge is helping me greatly in the early stages. Reading of other people's success is extremely encouraging for me. I know I've got a long way to go with this quest to give up entirely.

in the past I've been to hell and back with gambling. I don't to make the same journey again.

If I can give up now I know you will be able to with the right help and the tools to do it.

Your freedom from the demons lies in your hands

Best Wishes

Thanks mr stop it really is a lifetime illness. I lasted only a few hrs yesterday before i crumbled however i also managed to summon enough strength to walk away which i have to take as a victory.

I left early for work so i could use the gym and pop into the shops while in my head i was fighting the voices screaming at me to just gamble. Fate decreed that the gym was absolutley heaving so i couldnt get a workout done. As usual the first thing that came to me was gambling...i had an hour so off i went. All the time as i approached i knew i was doing wrong but it was irresistable and £20 went in to the fobt machine. After about 5 spins of 3 wins and 2 losses i stopped thought this could go 2 ways,i take my £5 profit or i continue to play and lose everything i have on me which was about £80. Somehow i managed to press collect and walked out of the bookies ...inside i was screaming at myself for putting me in that position once again but also proud that i had managed to walk away at such a crucial time when normally greed takes over with the belief this could be a good night. So onto today with a positive outlook and i have things to do but i wont have money in my pocket in case i lose the mind battle once more...i have removed one piece of the triangle. I hope anyone who reads this post has a great non gambling day today.

You should be well pleased at getting out of there and justifiably proud at the resilience you have shown. We know it's not easy. As you say one piece of the triangle has been removed which should enable you to abstain. As for me, I'm on day seven and it does feel goodand I too feel proud. I'm not falling into the trap of feeling overly complacent though. There's a long way to go yet. It's early days but the urges do seem to be lessening. I have had a very busy week and that seems to be one of the key things to me anyway. Distraction seems to be a big part of the battle.

Best Wishes as usual to all on the forum.

The urges lessen because at first you think it's impossible to live without gambling but realise that you can after all. The sky hasn't caved in.

I agree with MrStop that keeping busy and distracted is a great help and those dreaded triggers need an action plan as well. I've had urges to gamble these last 2 days when I released I had some (last time gambled) winnings left, I went to ebay and bought a record instead.

Well done for walking away from the bookies with your fiver, that's not an easy thing to do.

Hi dez1, welcome to recovery 🙂

I had a similar journey time to reach my path to recovery. I spent years telling myself 'no more' everytime I did the walk of shame out of a venue because the money was no more, only to go rushing back the second the withdrawal limits had been reset. Promising myself I would only spend x amount! You know the rest!

A few months back I came to the internet looking for help & was almost disgusted to hear I had to quit because for me a compulsive gambler, I could not win because I could not stop! I'm not saying it has been easy but I spent many years throwing good money after bad. Drawing a line under my losses (& that was horrible) has enabled me to give up this pointless chase! Today I am in a very good place, instead of just being mad @ myself I am mad at the addiction & just for today, I choose 'no' because I want to & not because I need to!

If I were you, I would consider self exclusion, esp if you use particular venues as most important is keeping that triangle apart in these early stages because the urges will come!

There is a lot of help within these pages & NT has a thread on tips to occupy yourself because, like me, you will not know what to do with all your spare time after the lifetime of destruction that you have experienced!

I am doing it so, you most definitely can do this - ODAAT

Been a few days since i have posted and i can gladly say i have not gambled and i have had no desire to and now i need to continue to build and learn because i know whats round the corner and i need strength to continue in the right direction. Thanks for the comments on my thread and yes i will have time where i will be severely tested and this has caused me to fail miserably before. I have to be honest and say that i still dont believe that i can be gamble free for a prolonged period (for life would be nice) as it has been such a huge part of my life for so long,day in day out.

On a more positive note the last few days have been spent celebrating my partners birthday with an overnight stay at the beautiful loch lomond. Corners were cut but felt in a good place with my head relaxed andno thoughts of destruction.

Well its saturday and still no gambling urges until now. Normally i would be at an amateur football match and then head straight to work tonightbut the weather has put paid to that and now i am sitting twiddling my thumbs and waiting for the inevitable to happen. Would love just to put a coupon on and watch the football as it happens but i know where that leads to so i will occupy myself as best as i can and hope i am strong.

Have a strong day.

Hi Dez,

Me too. Last bet was yesterday lost £940 on Tarooq at Lingfield. That is my last bet ever. I'm 14 k in debt and gonna stop before I ruin my life. I am going Anfield to watch the match with my step son at 1 so after that I'll be safe. Took all the apps off my phone. Looking forward to actually watching the match instead of constantly looking at my phone checking results. I have looked at the racing at Lingfield today but resisted. Got an apt for counselling this week. Just need to come clean to the wife as it is killing me doing this alone. Good luck.

Good idea to stop gamblin....better idea telling the wife as then you have someone to confide in when your struggling...and you will struggle. However dig deep,keep your diary(this is helping me immensley) and continue to read and post. Stay strong is my motto.

Staying strong is key, right now I feel slightly better but i am full of fear around telling people. I am going to confront this fear tonight I feel. I am working all day today. Had a good day yesterday not a gamble in sight, put my daughter to bed last night and wasn't constantly on my phone or looking at twitter. I have an appointment for councelling on Wednesday morning. So moving in the right direction, the penny has really dropped in my head now regarding the magnitude of what I was doing. The money I spent, well, lost. I also won large amounts of money which I spent on things for myself and femily and not paying off debt. Right now I feel stupid and annoyed but determind not to gamble and to work hard and pay off what I lost.

Its monday and ive just been for an hrs walk and how i enjoyed it. As i neared the end i had a moment to myself when i realised i had no thoughts of the days gambling,i had no turmoil going on in my head,i was at peace with myself and it felt absolutely brilliant.

I asked myself why i put myself through the torture and just shook my head and walked on. I have been in this position before so i know i have a tough fight ahead but onwards and upwards only positivity from now on.

Have a positive day.

thanks dez1 and the rest of you, my man is fighting his addiction and doing well as far as i know, its comforting to read other people are making progress day by day, i get my reassurance without interrogating him and ruining his self esteem doing it. keep posting 🙂

Another gambling free day. Went to the bank to check my balance and had enough...also had enough to gamble. Actually felt disgusted at even the thought of gambling. Days gone by i would have fought my demons...lost easily...unloaded my account and headed to the bookies with the naive confidence that today was a lucky day. Ironically if i won i would have just reinvested the money the next day in the bookies till it was gone. Familiar?!!!!

Tonight i have also felt that i could give advice on other posts which hopefully will help other people in their quest as i have so much expierience fighting this horrible addiction. It is also fulfilling so helps me also.

Happy days..stay strong.