I just can’t stop no matter what

2 weeks without a bet today. I don’t want a well done because I am in such a state and 2 weeks is nothing as I have no money to gamble anyway. 

long long road ahead but hopefully this is the end of gambling but realistically I cannot see that but it’s worth a try and I’m determined. 

thanks everyone for the help and advice I’ll keep you updated, gamble or no gamble. 

Good Morning Certifed, 

It is good to see that you have progressed in your journey of being gamble free. Continue to take each day at a time.

You mentioned that you are in such a state and as such did not want to be given a well done for your achievement. I would encourage you to contact the helpline on 0808 802 133 or our webchat on the website if you would like to talk about how you are doing to see if there is anything that we can do additionally to help you. 

Ricki, 

Forum Admin

32 days without a bet. My last bet is still impacting my life as I am still skint. This what happens when you place a bet with an addiction, it leaves you with long term debt and I’m barely surviving at the moment but it’s my own fault. 

Hi Certified,

I've read your whole story and all the responses and to me it seems that its finally starting to sink in that the only way out is to stop.

We're all going through the same experiences, mountains of debt, the thought that we just need that 1 big win to sort our lives out when the reality is it will never come to us, and if it does, we'll lose it all back to them in the end.

You're doing really well and the truth of it is there isnt an easy fix or a way out to this addiction. This will be with you for the rest of your life as it will with me. I'm 9 days GF today and the thing that's***t me the most on this forum is how much people have lost. Not talking about money but time, experiences, loved ones.

I'm grateful that things didnt get that far for me and my partner is sticking with me for now. I'm also 25 and I cant let gambling ruin my whole life.

Were both young enough that we have time to get our lives back on track and do everything we want to, but gambling never has and never will be the answer.

Have a think about what your life would be like now if you never gambled. That's what's pushing me on.

I'll keep an eye on your thread and hope you stay on the journey to recovery!

Matt

47 days gamble free today. Been in this situation before and failed badly. Still thousands in debt and struggling every day with money but not really thinking about gambling as I don’t have any money spare due to paying these high interest debts. Let’s see how far I can go this time without a bet. My birthday is 11th December and if I get through to that date without a bet it’ll be 6 months without one and that will be the longest I’ve done since being able to gamble 8 years ago. 

50 days free. 

hopefully here’s to another 50 

last bet Friday 11th June 2021

63 days without a bet. Urges hitting strong, how do I stop this pain? In loads of debt and struggling to get by and having to work everyday. Let’s keep going!

Dear @certifed,

you are doing so well, over 2 months gamble free, that is fantastic. I appreciate it is difficult when you are struggling with financial worries on a daily basis, that can be a trigger. However, you know gambling won't fix these financial worries, it will only make them worse. 

I don't know your situation, but maybe you can look at what financial support you can get in terms of tax credits, universal credit, etc. Also maybe there is a way you can cut some of your costs ? Alternatively you could also look at a little part-time job if you have the time and the energy?

You have come so far, gambling will only make your situation worse in the long run.

Wishing you all the best,

Eva

Forum Admin

I gambled 2 weeks ago today and lost £200. Today I got paid and gambled again and lost £300. So that’s another £500 wasted. Currently around 4,300 in debt. I have credit card minimum payments due and literally have no money to my name. I’m working 6 days a week long hours and I’m currently seeing no money and feels like I’m working for free. I literally don’t see the point in life anymore. I would never do nothing serious but I literally don’t want to be here anymore so all this pain disappears. I’m literally broken to my bones and there is no way out of this mess. I always find a way to gamble and no one can help me, seriously. I am finished and I am in such a bad place, what is the point in life . What a waste. 

tomorrow is a new day but won’t be a good day. 

speak soon

Hello Certified,

It sounds like you are finding things particularly difficult at the moment, so please call us on our freephone 0808 8020 133 or on the Live Chat so we can look at what support could be available to you.

It sounds like your financial situation is getting you down, so you might also like to look at a free resource like Money Helper

Money Helper

0800 138 7777

https://www.moneyhelper.org.uk/en/money-troubles/dealing-with-debt/tackling-problem-gambling-and-debt

If you are feeling depressed you might also like to talk with your GP and if you have suicidal feelings at times, the NHS offer this website page about how to get help for suicidal feelings;

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/help-for-suicidal-thoughts/

Take care,

Adam.

Honestly I totally understand how hard it is. I’ve literally just came off all the sites today as I spent my rent money and have about 3p to my name ? I’m actually fed up, all I want to do is sleep just to avoid life!! Even when I do win I put the whole lot back on so I don’t understand what the whole point of it was but I’ve been doing it for years now. Ive blocked myself off all the sites & I’ve just opened a Monzo account as I seen you had opened one on a previous post and ive just made a savings pot hopefully I can save and actually have money to get a new car and other things I’ve wanted for a while. 
This is probably going to be one of the hardest things I’ve done as it’s all I’ve ever been used to for the past 5/6 years, my ex boyfriend he kind of got me hooked on them, i watched him win thousands so I thought I would have a go and I used to deposit £10 and if I got £40/£50 I would withdraw it and I would be buzzing with that but now if I had thousands I would literally put the whole lot on. It’s only been this morning since I blocked myself from all the sites but all I can think about is a way around it just like you ? I want to gamble so bad but after I’ve done it Im angry at myself when I’ve lost everything. it’s going to be really hard but I need to do this.
how are you getting on? I hope your having a better day, things will get better. I hope you have someone to talk to have you got any family members or a friend you could tell? 

Been gambling again and literally have not a penny in the bank with nearly 5k in debt with loans ringing me everyday because I’m so far behind on payments. I’m working 11 hours a day and walking 5 miles to work because I start at 4am and that’s how life is. This is rock bottom but when pay day comes I have no money if I gamble or not. 

I'm truly sorry to hear that. It sounds like a really rubbish cycle of intently self-destructive behaviour to be stuck in (actually, I know from personal experience that it is).

So, what are you planning to do about changing it?

In respectful honesty, there is no advice or comfort to give that hasn't been put forth multiple times already in this thread.
If you're after a bit of comfort or validation, feel free to go back and look selectively at those posts. Disregard any of the bits that you don't want to take on board right now. 

I'm going to continue being blunt here. Not out of unkindness, but because having read this entire thread, I feel it's the most useful thing that I can offer.

1.) 5k is not an insurmountable level of debt, especially if working all of the hours that you are, even if on low pay. Being both debt free, and free of the burden of this cycle of addiction are possible. It will however take time and an often challenging level of sustained intent.

2.) Having little income left after paying debts (especially if paying them off at a higher/faster rate) is a consequence. Life is full of consequences, especially for bad decisions/choices.
There are however legitimate avenues that you can go down to organise a debt repayment plan that doesn't leave you without money to live on. Considering that at the moment all of your money is going on gambling, is the alternative of living a temporary life of limited income, but gaining the ability to at least eat/pay bills/sleep without fear of the next day, really that unattractive?

If you do want to get further into debt. If you do want to continue validating yourself through loss. If you want to be living this life and watching it continue to disintegrate, then simply carry on. That is all that gambling has left to offer you. You know this.
Ain't nobody going to stop you from doing so, or jump in to save you.

Self-respect is something that YOU have to put the effort in for, and you are worthy of self-respect. We all are.
You're clearly willing and able to put huge amounts of energy/effort in to losing it.
To work all of these hours just to continue with something that perpetuates the worst of you. Why is that?
You say 'that's how life is'.  And yes, that appears very much to be the case right now. But is it how you want life to continue being? If the answer to that question is currently ‘yes’, then may I ask why?

When you next look at this forum, are you able to make a post that contains two things.
Firstly, a short list of reasons as to why you feel that you gamble.
Secondly, a short list of reasons as to why you no longer want to gamble.

That would feel like a more useful and honest place to start from, and I for one would be really interested in reading that.
Give it a whirl.

In the meantime, be safe and be as kind to yourself as you can be. We absolutely care about you and your wellbeing, but no more than you should about yourself.

Gambled again on Saturday only £12.50 but that’s not the point. I am thousands in debt and my gambling is why I’m single from my 2018 breakup and it still hurts today. It was that bad I was meant to have a holiday with my girlfriend in 2017 and I was that addicted to gambling and gambling high stakes she was joking with me taking my phone as a joke and I said do that again I’ll rip my passport up and I just flipped and ripped it up. I can’t get over what gambling as done to me. How I’m still here I don’t know. I’m sad and wanted her back but glad she got away from a vile human being which is what I am, vile. 

Not much else to say but this hurt isn’t going anywhere, ever. 

Dear Certified, 

It sounds as though you are going through a difficult time at the moment. It sounds really hard feeling as though the pain will not ever go away, and experiencing such negative thoughts about yourself. 

It might be helpful to remember that others have experienced similar feelings, but have gone on to recover, and it can be the same for you too. I appreciate it is not always easy to believe this but with the right support in place you can feel better.

You are very welcome to contact us on 0808 8020 133 or on our Live Chat at any time for support - you are not alone in this and we are here for you.

Best wishes,

Sophie

Forum Admin