I just can’t stop no matter what

@certifed solid effort my friend. You should be proud of yourself. Remember in the future times will be tough, and the temptations may come back! But look back at this point and make sure you don’t go back to old habits! You have done incredibly well thus far! Keep up the great work, and I’m sure the stress is far less now than it was and you wonder why didn’t you stop earlier? 

Next week should hit 100 days without a bet. I don’t see this exciting or happy about it as I’m in so much debt and it doesn’t seem to be going. All I can do is take it a day at a time and stay calm and ignore the feeling of winning big to clear my debts. Hopefully 100 can be 200 days and so on but I doubt it and myself. Stay safe everyone and hope recovery is going well 

Hi Cert,

I remember doing 100 days, didn't feel that there was much to celebrate. Next day became 101 days then it dawned on me I was on step 1 to reaching my 2nd hundred days. CGs don't recover overnight, it's a long slow process. You're still in debt I get that & progress seems slow.

You're right to ignore that "ONE BIG WIN FEELING ". We're here because as bitter a pill it is to swallow the big win isn't coming. We can't win because we can't stop. No win is ever big enough for a CG. Any win ( I call it a payout ) is just a dangling carrot to keep us addicted. Like a drug addict craves for heroin, we crave for gambling it's a cancer.

Maybe you feel this is a pointless exercise because you're still in debt. Let me assure you your debt would be even bigger if you hadn't achieved 100 days gamble free. Rome wasn't built in a day, but wow what a city, have you been there ?. I've seen it since I stopped 3 & 1/2 years ago. I've spent 4 days of last week in Krakow visiting Auschwitz whilst I was there. I could only afford the trip through stopping. 

I didn't condemn any of my family to death but boy I made them suffer, each & every day with broken promises, I'd change, I'd stopped, I'd never gamble again. I came away from that visit thinking how lucky am I ?. The very people I hurt are still with me, still believing in me, still forgiving me. I'm just another CG, not an expert. But I would say this to any CG. Don't look back at what you've lost but concentrate on what you still have. Do you have loved ones who support you despite your addiction. If so you're richer than you can ever imagine despite your debts.

You're Doing The Right Thing

AL

100 days without a bet today. Here’s to another hopefully 100 days free. 

Thank you for all the comments I receive on here. I do read them and appreciate them I’m just trying to keep my head down and my mind active away from gambling thoughts. I am proud of 100 days but I have a long way to go.

The debts I have are still big and I’m trying my hardest with working a lot to clear them with trying to have some sort of social life too. 

Tomorrow is day 101 and it’s impossible to gamble at the moment as I have no money which is a good thing really. As the days get longer and my day count gets higher i hope it keeps me away from gambling as I don’t want to lose my day streak.

also I’d like to add I’m currently receiving no support in ways to stop gambling so if there is anyone willing to give any advice or tips that would be a help. I have blocks in place on my phone and self excluded from all local bookies and nearly every shop in the city I live in.  

Thank you for reading and I’ll speak to you all soon. I hope your journeys are going smooth. 

119 days free from gambling 

Day 1 tomorrow. About a month binge gambling has put me back to square one. Not in the mood for anything 

Hi Certified,

I started life on here not in the mood for anything.

NOT IN THE MOOD TO RECOGNIZE THE ADDICTION WAS MORE POWERFUL THAN ME

NOT IN THE MOOD TO LEARN THAT DETERMINATION & WILL POWER AREN'T ENOUGH

NOT IN THE MOOD TO FACE UP TO THE FACT THAT IF I DIDN'T STOP THINGS WOULD ONLY GET WORSE

NOT IN THE MOOD TO ADMIT LIFE CHOICES HAD GONE & THE ADDICTION HAD BECOME MASTER

I had a choice, lie- down & die or seek support, put as many blocks & obstacles in the way as possible. Addiction is like an abusive partner, it strips you of everything you have. It's cruel, unkind & ruthless, yet manages to convince you you're nothing without it.

I now know I'm not nothing, I'm not worthless. I've every right to happiness & contentment as the next man. I'm wiser, stronger & value myself. It still whispers in my ear with promises that things will be different & I'll be treated better if I give it another try. One day at a time I ain't buying it. Learning  from the past is more important than letting a slip get you down.

Best Wishes

AL

Made a lot of mistakes since my last post. Still in debt and only got paid today and lost all of my salary. Tomorrow is back to the drawing board. 

Back to day 1 tomorrow. Since my last post it’s been a crazy ride. 

I have managed to clear my debt so I’m currently debt free, we’ll I probably owe less than £20 as I’ve currently gone into my un arranged overdraft which will be sorted when I’m paid.

I’ve managed to save up £300 on a bank card where I don’t have the details for, but as always there is a way to gamble. I went into the bank with my ID and managed to withdraw the money so I don’t know what my next steps are with this. Looks like I need to think of something better on how to save. 

I’ve managed to clear all my debt in the last year so that’s a positive but I literally have no savings at all and currently work in a terrible job. I don’t know if I should be happy or angry because I’m 27 and have no money. Ever since I’ve been 18 I’ve had no money, just been paying off debts and losing all my money due to gambling it all away and I can’t seem to break the horrible cycle. I have tried numerous different ways to stop and as stated above I keep finding ways to gamble. Any one got any more tips on how to combat the no gambling issue. I am banned online from gambling but I keep being able to get into bookies (I am self excluded)

@certifed I can’t stop either I had debt and my parents cleared it for me then I’ve used credit cards again on non uk sites so back in debt it’s an awful addiction ??‍♀️ thought I might find some help in here 

@certifed hi mate.  I read your thread and your perseverance is great.  You should be proud of yourself.

I am now 40 and was in your situation when I was your age.  I have been a CG for 19 years starting when I was 21.  Only back when I was 27 we didn't have Gamstop.

I have now broken the cycle.  I had to did deep though and I wasn't ready in my 20's and 30's to be as self aware as yourself.

If I can give any pointers in stopping I would say 1) Realise you are not alone and it's not you are not weak or bad that you are having a hard time stopping 2) look into why you, you personally, gamble.

I started gambling at a time I was quite low and gambling gave me a buzz and made me feel good.  When I gambled I flooded my brain with dopamine.  When we gamble ten times the regular amount of dopamine is released and we feel in control and in the zone.  It becomes a routine to feel good, it becomes what we do without even thinking.

This is why you keep returning to gamble even though it hurts you and you don't want to.

It was the same for me.

@certifed 

If you get the urge to gamble, PLEASE PLEASE use this link to the family forum. Read the devastation gambling causes the families. Read the stories going back months.

https://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/family-friends/

In a couple of minutes you'll not want to gamble again. I use it to stop me gambling if I ever get the urge, which thankfully is rare these days.

Hello im back on here after a crazy year. Took out another pay day loan yesterday and already lost the lot. I’ve maxed out credit cards as well. Life is not good at the moment. A bit boring if you read my thread as it’s the same mistakes so I’m sorry. Currently in just over 3 grand worth of debt. 

I have all the blocks in place but I always find a way to gamble. I would just transfer money to my dad and make up a lie why I need the money from the cash point using his card. I seriously don’t know what to do anymore 

Back to day 1 tomorrow. 2,500 in debt. Hit with this problem for the last 10 years. Do not gamble it’s not worth it. I hope I can stop. I need to. I am wasting my life and it’s not even a joke anymore as I’ve been living like an absolute fool for so long