Hi,
I lost £1100 yesterday on online slots and I think it's the last straw for me. I feel so upset about this and so angry with myself that I can't stop thinking about it.
I was feeling so distraught this morning that I can't think straight.
I've decided to join up to this site to see if I can get some help and support from other people who have gone or are going through something similar.
I don't know how much to say but I'll try and keep it brief. I'm not very good at that so I'm sorry if I ramble on.
I think it started a couple of years ago, a few months after I went to Las Vegas. I was addicted to the slot machines there but thought nothing of it because I thought that's what everyone does in Vegas. It was fun. Or so it seemed.
I didn't seek out slot machines at all when I got back home and didn't really think about it. It was something I enjoyed in Vegas and that was it. I always enjoyed the odd football bet and spent usually between £5-10 A week on accumulators or silly request a bets.
Then one day I had an email or something from one of the gambling sites I used for the football and it was free spins on the slots. I had honestly never even considered using them online before that point but I thought why not and used them and won a bit. £50 or so.
I thought it was amazing. I was hooked straight away and gradually spent more and more of my time and money on it until this point where I feel I desperately need to stop.
I've spent so much money, it scares me to think how much but it's literally thousands because I've been using my Credit cards too. The worst time was about a year ago when I took out a loan to pay off my credit card and then proceeded to rack the debt back up on my card. The odd ВЈ25, £50 deposits here and there all add up to a lot in the end.
On Sunday just gone, I won big on a couple of games on the same site. I had but in a couple of hundred over the course of the day and ended on £1100.
I tried to win more and went down to £700.
I panicked and tried to win again. I went down to ВЈ400. Feeling sick I kept going and went back up to £800. I was so happy and told myself to STOP and to cool off the account for at least 24 hours but I couldn't stop. I kept going, thinking as I have so many times before that if I had won then surely I would keep winning.
I didn't and now I have zero. I didn't even have the ВЈ200 I already put in as that was supposed to be going towards my debt. The £1100 would have been a massive help in going towards my Credit Cards. Now I have nothing. Just a pile of debt still.
I feel so low today and I don't know what to do or where to turn. I have an amazingly supportive Husband but he doesn't know I've been gambling again as I told him a few months ago I had stopped. He was so supportive when I first told him I had a problem when i broke down to him just before Christmas. I stopped for 8 weeks and then one day, for some reason I started again.
I can't tell him again as I can't bare the disappointment I know he'll be feeling. I'm scared he'll look at me differently and won't want to be with me anymore.
I don't know what to do.
Welcome to the forum
Try to forget about the £200 you lost, the £1110 was never yours anyway and even if you had cooled off chances are it would have gone back on and been lost another day.
Online slots and roulette were never really my thing but if you search on here you put blockers on your device to block all gambling apps and sites. Amazing how many people get into gambling from small football bets. My advice would be to cut everything out and just remember how much better your life was before stressing over this.
Good luck and I’m Sure longer members around here will offer you more advice.
As a new member of this site and with an addiction to online slots, I can relate to exactly how you feel. I have lost a lot of money and time chasing big losses, all because I couldnt walk away no matter how big of a win. Leedsfan is right, the winnings were just that and not your own money. It is bad enough losing your own but the longer you continue to chase the money that was not techically yours in the first place, the worse things will become. I am still trying to come to terms with my latest loss but know I have to draw a line under it and every day I do not gamble is another gain to myself. Like myself, you have come to the right place. It is very early days in my recovery and I have been here a year before but failed as I was not ready to commit. I find it helps reading other peoples diaries as I know I am not alone. The advice and comments people leave on my own posts is also very beneficial. I have installed gamban on every device in my home, which will not allow me to access anything gambling related. I know because I stupidly tried to do so after installing it. The best thing is that after it has been downloaded it cannot be deleted for one year. It has taken the option of gambling completely away from me and because of this I feel like a massive weight has been lifted. Please take care and keep logging on, there are many in the same boat as us who are willing to help and support. You are not in this on your own xx
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