I want to stop

@scotty64 Good morning Scotty, 

First of all well done in admitting you have a problem. That's the first step in your recovery. I know how easy it is to be complacent and not realise the damage that 1 so called FREE BET can do.

I am a 32 year old male who has always had the odd flutter on the footy and on the horses and thought it was a bit of craic. I then stopped going to the bookies and started playing online and thats where things started to spiral. 

about 7 years ago I put £20 into my l*******s account and managed to get up to £8500. Tried going for the £10k and eventually cashed out at  £6k. I bout my first car in cash and insurance up front and I felt on top of the world. 

A few years later the now wife and I started to struggle financially a little bit and my mind automatically trigger that winning feeling I had and i thought to myself, I've done it before i can do this again. So this time I put £200 into my ***** account and went onto the roulette machine and I managed to get up to £15k and i was on cloud 9. Within 20 minutes of playing that £15k was gone. 

Like yourself my gambling got worse and worse during the lockdowns and I was spending every payday spending all my wages online and these were gone before I even got out of bed. 

Last December my wife starting asking all these questions that I just didn't have the lies for anymore and I knew this was my time to confess. 

She was so disappointed in me and i felt awful for potentially ruining our future together however she has stood by me and supported me. I immediately went to work and got my self excluded from ***** whoo in turn offered me a 6 months subscription to Gamban which i have installed on all my devices. I also registered with Gamstop who self excludes from every UK site registered on their database. I self excluded for 5 years. Best to go all in. 

Today I am 291 days gamble free and I can not my more proud of myself. Each day is a new struggle but waking up and seeing my wife still by my side gives me the strength to beat this addiction. We will always be addicts and that will never go away. I have done 6 weeks therapy/counselling and this really helped. 

I wish you so much success and please dont be scared to be honest with your struggles. Your Mental Health Matters just as much as the next persons

Nathan

@nlynch91148 cheers Nathan trying to stay positive and look forward but feel a lot of shame and regret for lying to people's faces. For me it's not the fact I've incurred debt or anything this time as I haven't but the fact I broke promises.

All I can do is take each day as it comes and hopefully it gets easier and trust can be won back. My partner has taken control of bank cards etc so even if I am tempted I won't have the ability to do anything stupid which is a positive.

Glad things are going well for you though and here's to every day getting that bit easier for all of us 

Scotty

I know how you feel. Just gone to the pub for a pint and cleared my wallet out on a fruit machine in around 20 mins. (120) Feel c**P...again. lost fortunes over the years. Why do we do it?? I'm going to really try and beat this.

Absolutely agree with the above. We have all been there it’s so crazy to read someone has been in exact situation as you. You MUST download the gamstop app it stops you even being tempted. Speak to your bank and block transactions in bookies, finally stop using cash if you can. You will get there life is better without gambling which is hard to conceive because during the big wins it’s great. But awful when you are on a run of big losses. A day at a time, you’ll get there family is more important. Get the weight off your shoulders. It’s Such a relief. 

all the best good luck

am9

@am9 thanks to all been quite down last few days just thinking how I've let people down. Weekend is difficult as I love watching sport even without a bet but I know the first weekend will be most difficult.

All we can do is keep trying our best and gi from there. I know what's at stake if I relapse so I'm hopeful I can get through this.

Stay strong everyone and thanks for the support it really does help. I bought a book about stopping and having a 90 day journal which hopefully has a positive impact too.

Thanks for your inputs guys. I can relate to everything so much. Just one day after the next of losing far more than you can afford to lose. At the age of 23, I lost €20000 in 24 hours. Feels never ending. Worst part is I’ve also hid it from all my family. It’s a horrible disease. But we’ll get there.

Managed to get through weekend with no betting or a real urge to gamble. I often associated a love of sport with a need to gamble but now starting to realise it isn't. They don't have to go hand in hand and you can watch a game without tracking yellow cards or corners.

I also bought a gambling addiction journal and sitting down and considering the daily question and writing down my thoughts is more useful than I thought.

All in all I feel there's light amidst the dark and each day is a day where I hopefully say today I won't gamble.

Another Saturday out of the way here which is definitely the hardest time for me. Trying to do other things as opposed to watching sport all day so went out with family this morning then watched a documentary this afternoon.

Still think about it a lot but it's getting easier to focus on other stuff. Seeing a decent bank balance helps instead of frequently depositing and seeing nothing coming back. 

Will keep taking it a day at a time and hoping each day gets a little easier