Idiot

It’s cause we have a problem and always think the big win is around the corner so we keep chasing it 

I think accepting the loss is the only thing you can do and move forward, the past is the past and you are clearly strong abstaining for 10 years, maybe after so long you thought could gamble in moderation, and having extra cash allowed you to do so, but unfortunately the addiction took over, as it does with so many of us, you are not an idiot, you are simply human

Thank you both

struggling with accepting the loss but taking the positives I never ever want to gamble again ever, even in the ten years of it I was very tempted and understand I may do in the future but I’ve never felt completely like I do today that I just don’t want to go back to it.

@ns0um6yprt i I think it takes a pivot moment for a gambler to realize the consequences of their actions, I gambled for years did things that were unthinkable and unforgivable to feed my habit, and the worse thing is I didn’t care, I think that’s what it does takes over all inhibitions it literally sucks the soul out of us it’s awful. I will never forgive myself but I’ve stopped thinking about the financial side, what’s gone is gone, can’t get it back, can’t take it with us, so it doesn’t really matter, you and your sanity matter, family if you have one. I think you will be just fine

Hi,

I am an idiot too. But already recovering idiot because of my mom. Believe me when I say I was down the rabbit hole. My mom was on the edge because she was the one who was giving me money but at the end she was in debt because of me with so much that she barely could pay the bills. The situation is different for already 2 months. Not because she could return the money but because I quit gambling and started two jobs. I forgot to mention that I still live with her (shame on me I know 35 and still with my mom). But again she was the one who helped me. She told me that I should read one book and download one app else she will kick me on the street. As you probably know at first I was very angry and ready to go but then my boss called me (I was late for work again) and he said not to come to work at all and that he is firing me. Well... I took the book. And it was life-changing. There was written my story but explained why I feel this and why I do it. Don't get me wrong- I didn't stop gambling because of it immediately, but I realized where is the root of everything. I read it literally for 2 hours (it is short and with pictures). My mom used the fact that I was under the emotions from the book and she made me install the app. And thank God these two steps helped. Gamban (the app) - i don't want to make advertising but I don't know how to tell you what I use - blocked every site for gambling so I cannot enter when I have cravings. The book - i still read some pages from it to remind myself where I was. The book is Gamblex: life on the line. I literally know it already. I am far from escaped but for 62 days in a row I am clean and going on meetings (they help me a lot but now when i realize the root of everything). I hope you can do it too. This forum reminds me where I don't want to go back... your story really touched me because it is very similar to the story of a friendof mine - he gambled all the money that his grandpaleft him.

Very tempted today but didn’t succumb.

its the money lost that’s eating me but I know if I go back I cannot ever win as I’m addicted and it’ll just go if I ever win anyway.

The weathers nice it’s been better not being stressed worrying about sport’s results.

@ns0um6yprt How are you getting on?

Thank you for the reply.

i am doing good, something has clicked finally that I can never win gambling and don’t want to go back.

life is good without worrying about gambling.

This is really good to read and helping me too keep going! How is everyone doing? 

I keep having moments and find it hard when I work from home but I have Gamban and trying to make sure I get outside 🙂 

@ns0um6yprt Thats great news, keep going you are right life is so much better

Hi mate,

You are not an idiot, only human.

I also had a long break from gambling then blew £5400 on sports betting in the space of a few months at the start of this year. I stopped on the 11th of March and just passed 6 weeks GF.

The loss hurt like hell. I worked so hard to save the money and threw it away without a thought. For the first few weeks it was all I could think about but it does get easier. I know the money is not coming back and if I kept gambling I would end up in a bigger hole.

Your loss will hurt but with time it will get easier. As you said in an earlier post it is nice living life not having to worry about sports results.

I find coming here and just reading other people's stories provides encouragement and makes us know we are not alone battling this horrible addiction.