Hi,
I am a 22 year old male who has been gambline for over 4 years now.
I have sought help through Gamcare before and have used the forums. I have also seen a counsellor referred to me by Gamcare.
My gambling addiction seems to swing in roundabouts but it is always, always there. Sometimes I will gamble on the sportsbook, maybe £5 a week on the football results and occasionally win. I have been doing this since I was 18 and thoroughly enjoy trying to use my knowlege of form and past fixtures to predict the results. My sportbook betting has never been an issue in my eyes but I know it is what led me to become a fully fledged addict to gambling.
From the age of about 19 I started to bet on the roulette machines at the local bookmakers while making my football bets. This was say about £5-10 at a time. It progressively got worse over time and I was spending any bits of money I had available.
About 18 months ago I had a seriously bad week. I gambled nearly all of my months wages and then took out about 4 short term loans, all of which were spent on gambling. My gambling meant that I lost my car that I had on HP, I was in debt with several loan companies and I owed a fair few hundred pounds to my parents. I was in a bad way. This is when I first contacted gamcare, my experience with the local counsellor did not seem to help at all, even though I was open in receiving help and kicking this problem! I started a Debt Management Plan at this time and I still to this day (when I haven't gambled the money for it) pay it off.
Since then I had lied to the two main people who knew about my addiction, my mother and my girlfriend. I was gambling amounts that wouldn't be noticeable but it was still more than what I could afford (or more accurately, not more than I knew would get me in more serious trouble). This was the case until last month when I was gambling lots, again. I even stole money from my parents. I was deceitful and a liar, for this, I will never forgive myself. My supportive mum told my dad and they both agreed to help me with my money. My mum now has my wages directly paid into her account so all the essential bills are taken care of. All that is left is my disposable income which she will give me as and when I need to purchase items or go out socialising etc.
This still doesn't stop me.
I will lie about what I need the money for and gamble it. This morning I got paid and was grateful as my car needed some work done (£90), as my mum is away for four days the mechanic has done the work and she put the money (which is my money) into my account. Alas, I gambled it having promised her I would not. This is a rare situation as normally she would be here to give the money to the mechanic and not have to worry about it.
I just need to kick this problem now. In relative terms, my case seems to be minor but I know it could progress. I guess what I want to know is how to stop thinking about gambling? I think about it all the time. I should be looking forward to going out with drinks with my girlfriend at the weekend but instead I would gamble that money and we would have to stay home. A Gamcare advisor suggested that maybe I didn't have anything else in my life to focus on? Nothing that excited me as much as the thrill of gambling did? This made sense to me and I plan to join the gym this month and focus a lot on making myself a fitter person.
Has anyone else had a similar tactic? Has it worked?
I'm worried I'll never be able to trust myself with my own money. It is already embarrassing for me being a 22 year old man and having to have my parents look after my money. I feel quite pathetic.
Sorry for the long rant.
Cheers.
Hi ryanbaker92,
You may have seen some of my other posts on this site,
One of the things I keep going on about is exercise. I visit the gym three times a week and do two hours at a time hard exercise on treadmill, cross trainer and bike etc. I get so knackered that all thoughts of gambling go right out of my head. I go early in the morning and the feel good effect lasts well into the rest of the day. I also go swimming when time permits as well.
If and when you sign up to the gym they'll do a fitness test on you so your exercise regime can be built up over a period of time.
Now, I'm way older than you so if I can do this stuff then you can too. All I can say is it works for me and I'm on Day 39 of the 2015 Challenge on this Forum. The gambling urges are almost non existant now. Keeping very busy and joining the Challenge have helped me greatly.
Don't beat yourself up about your parents having to look after your money. I don't know of anyone in the world young or old that doesn't need some help and guidance at some point in their adult life. If this and other measures get you to where you want to be it will make you a much stronger person in the end.
Take Care Now
I do gymwork three times a week about 2 hours at a time
Hi don't know why the gymwork bit got repeated again. Gremlins got into the computer works !
Hi MrStop,
Thanks a lot for your reply!
It may be a coincidence of me turning 18 at the time but this is also the time that I stopped doing a lot of regular sporting activities... Come to think of it, there is quite a strong correlation with minimal exercise = lots of gambling, lots of exercise = minimal to no gambling.
Other than work and socialising I have no real goals or hobbies. I hope that joining the gym and focusing on becoming a healthier individual in time will help with my addiction. I know that this won't be easy and that it probably won't be the only useful measure to take but hopefully it is a start.
Thanks again for your reply.
Thanks,
Ryan.
Ryan dont think your problems are any less than any other person on this site due to monatery sums you have spent.
You undoubtably have the disease and before you ruin your life and people that are close to you,you need to get off the rollercoaster.
Read the posts in the family and friends section and you will realise the pain and hurt you will be causing your loved one's and you will not even know it.
Give yourself a break for a few weeks,clear your head,stick on this site and write a diary.
Show this to your parents as you go along.
Make them proud
Give yourself the challenge and enjoy a better life.
Stay strong
Thanks, dez1!
I really wish I think about what effect this would have on them before/during a gamble spree but I never do. Instead, it always comes after I've blown it all. The guilt. The shame. The sorrow.
But maybe showing them adds a new dimension of change! Showing them that I'm working towards my sorting my problem will surely only have positive effects!
Thanks for your advice!
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