Keeping the Faith.....

Hi Leeds fan I read the whole way through your thread and was so pleased you'd found the courage to go to a meeting. There are so many women too afraid, for some reason it's seen as a male occupation. If you can get help managing your money that's a great barrier. Accepting the problem and seeking real life support will help you in many ways.

than

Merry go round wrote:

Hi Leeds fan I read the whole way through your thread and was so pleased you'd found the courage to go to a meeting. There are so many women too afraid, for some reason it's seen as a male occupation. If you can get help managing your money that's a great barrier. Accepting the problem and seeking real life support will help you in many ways.

Thank you for your kind words. It’s really helping reading people’s success stories and realising I’m not alone in this

Still only on Day 4 but I’m feeling more positive every day

Hi LeedsFan

Quite an apt title for your thread if you look at my user name. I’ll put my football allegiance to the side. What a great first post full of honesty and you seem to have a desire to beat this horrible addiction. It takes great courage attending a meeting and as you say not enough females take the plunge. I always say attending meeting was the best gamble I have ever taken two and a half years later my life is a million times better, I actually quite like myself now lol.

I’m sure you’ve had some great advise already but breaking the gambling triangle is a great place to start(Time, Money and Opportunity) Time- find things to keep you busy try and take up old hobbies, more time with family, just anything to fill that gambling void. Money – you seem to have this under control by handing over your finances but you need to stick to this and tell your partner he needs to be vigilant and keep his eye on things to keep you on your toes. Opportunity – it sounds like you gambled in the bookies (you like that gambled past tense) so you can take that opportunity away buy self-excluding from the bookies you can that in person I’d recommend taking someone with you, it might feel a bit embarrassing but once you do it you will feel quite empowered, you can also self-exclude over the phone by calling 0800 294 2060 they will need the addresses of the bookies you want to exclude from.

Breaking one of these 3 things makes it very difficult to gamble but if you break them all it should be impossible to gamble.

Keep attending the meetings they do work, and keep updating on here it helps to get your thoughts down and read the diaries there is some inspiring things on the recovery diaries of the forums.

KTF

Oldhamktf wrote:

Hi LeedsFan

Quite an apt title for your thread if you look at my user name. I’ll put my football allegiance to the side. What a great first post full of honesty and you seem to have a desire to beat this horrible addiction. It takes great courage attending a meeting and as you say not enough females take the plunge. I always say attending meeting was the best gamble I have ever taken two and a half years later my life is a million times better, I actually quite like myself now lol.

I’m sure you’ve had some great advise already but breaking the gambling triangle is a great place to start(Time, Money and Opportunity) Time- find things to keep you busy try and take up old hobbies, more time with family, just anything to fill that gambling void. Money – you seem to have this under control by handing over your finances but you need to stick to this and tell your partner he needs to be vigilant and keep his eye on things to keep you on your toes. Opportunity – it sounds like you gambled in the bookies (you like that gambled past tense) so you can take that opportunity away buy self-excluding from the bookies you can that in person I’d recommend taking someone with you, it might feel a bit embarrassing but once you do it you will feel quite empowered, you can also self-exclude over the phone by calling 0800 294 2060 they will need the addresses of the bookies you want to exclude from.

Breaking one of these 3 things makes it very difficult to gamble but if you break them all it should be impossible to gamble.

Keep attending the meetings they do work, and keep updating on here it helps to get your thoughts down and read the diaries there is some inspiring things on the recovery diaries of the forums.

KTF

Thank you for taking the time to reply, yup being a Leeds fan kinda prepared myself for the misery and lost hope gambling brought me 😉 (sorry I’m trying to still keep my sense of humour in all this)

To be honest I’m not even sure how I will watch football in future without having money on it. Apart from there being gambling adverts all the game, stadiums, shirts etc all seem to be sponsored by it. I’ve kinda fallen out of love with the game I just want to go back to that person who wants my team to win again for nothing but enjoyment. But anyway right now that’s not too important.

You are right about the groups I am going to another one on Friday night and again next Tuesday. I’m also trying to keep the booze to a minimum (not an alcoholic) but I find keeping a clear head is helping a lot.

Congratulations on your 2.5 years GF, that’s amazing. Reading posts like that just gives me so much hope.

Day 4....first big test I took some cash in my job paid straight in, no thoughts of a £3 quid scratch card then turning the house upside down to cop up for the missing money. It’s strange not having the sky bet app on my phone, as stupid as it sounds I would go on it even with no money to check odds, see results of virtual dogs just to see if I “would’ve won”. I know that will go away it’s just getting out of the routine.

Turned to sorting the house out, cleaned out a drawer I’ve been meaning to do for months. Little things like that then never got done before.

Looking forward to tackling my first GF weekend in years, keeping the faith I can get to 7 days.

Morning Leedsfan and welcome to the gamcare diaries. It is good that you are holding on to your sense of humour, add to that some faith, hope, common sense, courage and determination. That could be a good recipe for success.

We all understand the difficulties we face in overcoming our urges to gamble. However, it is not mission impossible as some of our friends have managed to stay gamble free for long periods.

I did write you a welcome poem but accidentally posted it on Sharon's diary. Best wishes from stephen x

Thank you Stephen I will go check that out.

Really looking forward to tomorrow I’m seeing my niece and nephew and we’ve bought them a trampoline for their bday (luckily bought before my payday binge) and I can’t wait to see their faces when they see it. I’m trying to see things like this as a “win” and just spending time with my family. I’ve neglected my friends and mainly so much in the last 3 years.

5 days now 🙂

Good luck and you doing tjings about it spurred me . you obviously have a supportive and tolerant partner who cares so let them help . when i stopped before being honest to those close helped, i only borrowed from parents as i still maintain its their fault i exist! and that comes with responsibilty, today last year i took them on an all expenses paid holiday to say thanks.

yes i have messed up yesterday but, phoned my creditors, looked at my credit history and its all stuff that csn be dealt with

ordered cashline card only . i am a nice guy but persasuive - i would say ia am a manipulator to get what i want. you cn sort this by being honest, i found close people dont judge, 4 in a row told me they feel sick because i work so hard and i wasted it . dont kid yourself with temptations. i know i need to cut off all angles. i know if i have cash now , the actual amusement arcardeds will call, so even with no debit card, i need to figure out cash handling. last time for me, making a budget helped me focus. good luck . i am still chicken to go to help group as i am fine and all them have the problem , i am sure thats the one i will regret like every gambler who doesent go, so hats off to you for doing it.. Take care.. paul

Know exactly where you are coming from when you describe how innocently gambling became part of your life from very young, it was the same for me with my parents spending holidays at the seaside on fruit machines etc.

I started just doing free games on bingo sites which led to me ending up depositing, got a win once for 3.5K. Every day for years I have spent several hours playing on bingo sites/rouletting, every day I would spend at least 20 pound on scratchcards or lottery tickets, I won a grand on a 10 pound scratchcard a few months ago. But I think those buzzing wins made me worse, made me want that feeling again, that buzz. I see it now how I was such a fool chasing for it because even if it did happen I wasn't stopping, it wasn't real money to me and it was fun, occupied me when I was bored said it was my 'friend'. But while I was in that gambling haze I didn't realise how bad it had got, several thousands of pounds worth of loans later...

Countless times I said I could cut down, quit by myself one day, admitted it to my husband saying I would never do it again but let him down over and over, said he loved me but couldn't take much more after nearly 17 years of marriage, it broke my heart to hear him say that. I had to really shake myself and realise I was about to lose my husband, my home, my family, everything that mattered to me... all for gambling. It had to stop, just a shame for the damage I had done before I could even properly try to stop it.

I am lucky to be able to say I haven't bought one lottery ticket/scartchcard or done any other form of gambling for 39 days now after too many years of daily gambling. You have already done so well with 7 days, should be very proud of yourself for that and I hope you are 🙂 It is honestly the best feeling in the world being without gambling. At first it was really tough and to be honest every day is still a battle but it really does get easier the more days you have under your belt. The more I see life without it the more I realise how this horrible addiction had got it's way with me and put a dark cloud over my life, I wanted to be in control of me for once, so every day I stick 2 fingers up at it, take it one day at a time.. Some people can just cut down or try to manage it but for me personally I knew in my heart that wouldn't work and that I had to cut gambling out of my life completely.

I think we are stronger than we know, that gambling addiction voice is a mere voice in our brain, it has no control over us it just wants to get it's fix, even if that means destroying everything we love.

This thread really helped me start my journey to be gamble free http://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/join-guru-challenge give it a read there's some interesting stuff on there and maybe join us all too if you fancied? I believe if you really want rid of this destructive addiction you can do it, the trust will come from others in time, when they see you mean business.

Best of luck in your journey and keep the faith 🙂

angel x

tiree58 wrote:

Good luck and you doing tjings about it spurred me . you obviously have a supportive and tolerant partner who cares so let them help . when i stopped before being honest to those close helped, i only borrowed from parents as i still maintain its their fault i exist! and that comes with responsibilty, today last year i took them on an all expenses paid holiday to say thanks.

yes i have messed up yesterday but, phoned my creditors, looked at my credit history and its all stuff that csn be dealt with

ordered cashline card only . i am a nice guy but persasuive - i would say ia am a manipulator to get what i want. you cn sort this by being honest, i found close people dont judge, 4 in a row told me they feel sick because i work so hard and i wasted it . dont kid yourself with temptations. i know i need to cut off all angles. i know if i have cash now , the actual amusement arcardeds will call, so even with no debit card, i need to figure out cash handling. last time for me, making a budget helped me focus. good luck . i am still chicken to go to help group as i am fine and all them have the problem , i am sure thats the one i will regret like every gambler who doesent go, so hats off to you for doing it.. Take care.. paul

Thank you for your reply Paul, sounds like you have had a productive day. My parter is being really good, first time I had my own money today £20 but gave my OH receipts for petrol and my lunch plus change. Wow change that’s a novelty I usually come home with no money left as I use my change for scratchcards.

xangel11x wrote:

Know exactly where you are coming from when you describe how innocently gambling became part of your life from very young, it was the same for me with my parents spending holidays at the seaside on fruit machines etc.

I started just doing free games on bingo sites which led to me ending up depositing, got a win once for 3.5K. Every day for years I have spent several hours playing on bingo sites/rouletting, every day I would spend at least 20 pound on scratchcards or lottery tickets, I won a grand on a 10 pound scratchcard a few months ago. But I think those buzzing wins made me worse, made me want that feeling again, that buzz. I see it now how I was such a fool chasing for it because even if it did happen I wasn't stopping, it wasn't real money to me and it was fun, occupied me when I was bored said it was my 'friend'. But while I was in that gambling haze I didn't realise how bad it had got, several thousands of pounds worth of loans later...

Countless times I said I could cut down, quit by myself one day, admitted it to my husband saying I would never do it again but let him down over and over, said he loved me but couldn't take much more after nearly 17 years of marriage, it broke my heart to hear him say that. I had to really shake myself and realise I was about to lose my husband, my home, my family, everything that mattered to me... all for gambling. It had to stop, just a shame for the damage I had done before I could even properly try to stop it.

I am lucky to be able to say I haven't bought one lottery ticket/scartchcard or done any other form of gambling for 39 days now after too many years of daily gambling. You have already done so well with 7 days, should be very proud of yourself for that and I hope you are 🙂 It is honestly the best feeling in the world being without gambling. At first it was really tough and to be honest every day is still a battle but it really does get easier the more days you have under your belt. The more I see life without it the more I realise how this horrible addiction had got it's way with me and put a dark cloud over my life, I wanted to be in control of me for once, so every day I stick 2 fingers up at it, take it one day at a time.. Some people can just cut down or try to manage it but for me personally I knew in my heart that wouldn't work and that I had to cut gambling out of my life completely.

I think we are stronger than we know, that gambling addiction voice is a mere voice in our brain, it has no control over us it just wants to get it's fix, even if that means destroying everything we love.

This thread really helped me start my journey to be gamble free http://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/join-guru-challenge give it a read there's some interesting stuff on there and maybe join us all too if you fancied? I believe if you really want rid of this destructive addiction you can do it, the trust will come from others in time, when they see you mean business.

Best of luck in your journey and keep the faith 🙂

angel x

Thank you Angel, funny how we thought those big wins were amazing at the time but looking back I’d certainly swap them to not be a GA.

Congratulations on your 39 days. It’s really hard with scratchcards and they are everywhere. Seems to be getting more and more of them - that should tell us everything about how much money they are making from desperate people out there.

Good luck in your journey, we’ve got this 🙂

the having your own money thing is difficult, you feel like a child not being trusted, but from experience it makes you think twice about asking a prent or partner for money for something frivouloius. a good friend heard what i had doen and turned up with £1000 today. no threats , no dont waste it, just i want to help and i want you not to worry or do anything stupid or upset parents. i went to supermarket and spent £170 and filled fridge , freezer and every cupbaord . i can stay in but at least i can feed myself. i have another friend i can trust it with and will pay essential bills with some and get pocket money back as i need it. none will go in bank!!! i ahve double that spare every month for i minute then blow it , so when i marcged into morrisons and everyone rlse was panicking because visa debit isnt working i smiled a little with my cash. irony doesent cover it . chin up

Day 7......yes! Last Sunday I was waiting all day for a football match to start and worrying on the result. Turns out I lost, that was my last bet and looking back I’m glad I did as I’ve got my life back.

Heading to Scarborough with other half and our dog, come rain or shine I’ll be having an ice cream and playing football on the beach 🙂

Hi Leeds fan . To make this stopping permanent , don’t make the mistakes of others . The easy mistake to make is that we only see gambling as a problem if we are losing . You mention a lot of good wins but really it’s only a small return on what you have put in . Our brains tend to filter this and only remember the good times and not the countless pain. Keep this in mind and along with others advice you have a great chance of beating this