Life Begins at 41

If I had been asked "Do you have a problem with gambling?" one week ago, I would have answered with a positive "no", however in the last week my unhealthy addiction to gambling has been very clearly uncovered. I am not proud of my actions, nor how I have handled myself through the many years of my addiction, but today I post on this forum, with a clear and honest declaration - For the sake of my family and myself, I will not gamble any more.

I am a 41 year old who was introduced to gambling on horse and greyhound racing at the early age of 12, by my now late father. My addiction increased as I grew older, with larger and larger stakes until in my mid twenties I began to wager with money I simply didn't have (Overdrafts / loans etc). Trying to convince myself the sporadic wins out weighed the costly and numerous losses, I continued to bet on anything that the now online betting sites offered; always chasing that elusive huge pay out.

I am embarrassed to admit that over the past 18 months the impact of my gambling addiction has stretched out to those whom I hold so very dear and love more than anything in the world - my fiance and our children. My losses were so extensive that I become so lost, so desperate I admitted my failing to my fiance and I was forced to take out a huge "Home Owner Loan". I begged my fiance for forgiveness and promised I would never place her and our family at risk again by gambling. Understandably my fiance was very concerned but believed in me, stating that if I did ever gamble again, I would be choosing gambling over her and our family, and I would be the one ending our relationship.

That was approx. 6 months ago and I maintain I meant every promise, every word of assurance but this failed to stop me making the most inexcusable mistake of my life to date - I began to gamble again. The driver behind my cowardly return to gambling was not the thrill of that win, but to pull together enough money to pay for our wedding. This I know sounds laughable but to provide the full context of this now fully regretted situation; we were unable to afford the wedding I hoped for for my beautiful partner, however this became more pressing as my Mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer (March 2014, 5 months after losing my Dad to the same) and I wanted to do all I could to ensure my Mum witnessed what would be the happiest day of my life.

My addiction to gambling, my stupid thought that I couldn't fail to win, resulted in me failing to truly comprehend or appreciate the obvious, gambling was not the answer, it never was and never will be, irrespective of how low or desperate life becomes, there is always a better road to travel. But in July I traveled the same old wrong road - gambling.

My fiance stumbled across my deceit and fronted me mid way through this week and my life literally felt like it was about to fall apart. I had no excuses, no answers for how I had let her, us, our family down, so I simply asked for help and admitted I have a huge problem. Since that evening, my fiance has taken over full control our finances, I have closed the online betting site account, I am in the process of closing down my sole banking account in an effort to remove all possible avenues for me to fail myself and my family again. I will also be reaching out to help lines and gambling addicts programs in an effort to do all I can to regain my life and my fiances trust. I have been given one last chance to be happy in life, and I can't waste that.

So my request is simple, please help me by sharing your stories of how you have combated and beaten this addiction, because I can't fail again, I have to beat this now I have opened my eyes to this weakness within me.

Many thanks in advance for your support and guidance, and I hope I may one day be able to provide the same for someone else in need.

Best regards

Gary