Life is change; make the change.

I was going to post this in "Success Stories" section but I don't feel it's real for me to say I've "succeeded" in getting the gambling monkey off my back - I haven't gambled in ten years now on anything more than an occasional scratchcard once a year if I'm trapped too long in the queue at the petrol station, however I'm under no illusion that if given the right set of circumstances I wouldn't be straight back in deep to roulette and poker. So to say "I've succeeded" in beating it sounds too much like cockiness.

I haven't gambled in 10 years, one small blip in early 2015, nothing else. The preceding 10 years - 2000-2010 I pretty much destroyed myself with Roulette and Poker. Almost endgame stuff. If you've been there you'll understand.

I'm simply posting now because I regularly read these forums, part in sympathy and part as a thumb up my a$$ to remind me how quickly I can jump back in the hole if a few things in my life went south, as it does for every human born from time to time.

I choose to salve my emotional distress now with booze - which is probably worse for my health, but better for my bank balance as unless I'm buying £2000 bottles of Krug champagne by the case, it's very hard to inflict the same financial damage by me buying 3 bottles of supermarket wine!! The hangover I can deal with (just), but at least the emotional damage only cost me about £20.

My only point in writing this is to sincerely offer hope that things do get better and it IS possible to leave the urge to gamble to extinction-levels alone for good.

Like many posters say here - I agree for me too it was a compulsion born from trying to stop emotional distress, never about winning money. For me, at best, it was trying to feel the dopamine rush of "I coulda been a contender", at worst a need to simply distract my anxious brain from the rising panic, self-loathing, fear and lack of control over any aspect of my life.

I won't be arrogant and tell anyone reading this that life gets better when you stop - it doesn't! In the short term your life will probably get worse! Facing up to all the mental horror thoughts that gambling helped us avoid without the escape of our drug of choice. In many ways it's akin to kicking a disabled person's crutches away and saying "walk unaided".

So, to quit and truly stay quited (is quited a word? 😉 it's so important to accept WHY we were gambling and address those issues first, only then can we find other ways to grow.

If you are lucky enough, as I was, to have people in your life who love you and will listen to you explain your suffering when you're ready, then it IS possible to stay gamble free. It takes a long hard look in the mirror, and an acceptance of ourselves, myself, yourself, as human beings who try to be good yet because we are humans sometimes we are weak, scared, angry, hateful, nasty, greedy, compassionate, caring, happy, etc. Gambling for me was all about trying to maintain a James Bond front of only ever being cool and strong - even to myself. And look where that got me ten years ago it nearly destroyed me.

I haven't gambled in ten years, I've had zero urges in the last 5 years to even think about it.

It is possible. You can do it.

You will only do it with self-reflection and self-honesty. It's hard. You can do it. Reach out. Grow as a person.

I hope that doesn't sound sanctimonious. If I can do it, then anyone who's read this far sure as hell can!

Make the choice to be compassionate to yourself. Accept your faults and failings. Make a conscious decision to find other less harmful ways to distract yourself from the internal pain we all feel.

All things pass. Good or bad. The only constant in life is change. Make the change.

Sincere best wishes,

John.