My diary so far! My new life

I'm currently on day 48 gf. So close to half century. Still no urges to gamble as I know how very close I was to losing everything that's important to me in my life, my fiancГ©e, which in turn if we had split losing our lovely home we bought together last year. Luckily for me she is willing to give our relationship a chance, I know it's not going to be easy, there are going to be some hard days and good days.

I have ran up debts totalling 16k to this horrible addiction, being found out has given me the kick in the backside I needed to stop right here, right now. I have recently been to my first councilling session which was very good to talk to someone professionally. I was told that I cannot control what's happened in the past with the losses, I can only control what happens from here on in, can't beat myself up about it, can't dwell on it as it cannot be changed. I've told friends about my addiction for extra support and self excluded from online and shops. I have read posts from other people everyday who are in worse positions as me and I feel for those people, the advice I would give is to tell close friends and partners that you trust with anything as I have found out, they don't judge you, they will recognise it is an addiction just as much as it would be smoking, drinking, drug abuse. They will be there for you even if it's just to listen. It feels so good to tell people so it's not a burden you keep bottled up yourself. Thanks for reading this post. I wish everyone the best in their recovery.

Nev