Hi,
I’m really trying hard to kick this demon, I’m still early days and currently on day 5 GF.
I don’t miss it, at all. I hate the life I have now, although I’m confident things will change. I hate who it’s made me become and this is what keeps me stronger I guess.
I’ve been faced with a few opportunities; one online account I had, (operator not signed up to GamStop) had reopened due to an earlier suspension period I had requested.
I logged in and the deposit button was there. So easy to have fallen back and I felt so anxious, not to deposit but just to get rid as quickly as I could. Account closed forever!
Again today, faced with an opportunity to walk in the bookies, I’ll be honest this isn’t my normal behaviour but I was working on the road and stopped for lunch at a coffee shop.. bookies right next door.
Also, what is it with social media?!! I get that Adverts are based on internet history and algorithms but come on.. how annoying to keep seeing casino ads pop up when I’m just trying to waste some time! Does anyone know how to change this/stop this at all?
Maybe I’m just paying more attention to it as I know I can’t go back there again. Anyway, still keeping strong and hopefully this is the start of a new beginning.
Thanks for reading!
Well done for closing that account down, it would have been so easy to deposit and start again tomorrow. Today is the end of day 3 for me and it has been a mix of emotions. One minute I feel positive and ready to tackle this, the next full of regret and then shame for even thinking about gambling again. All we can do is try and focus on the life we want to lead and how to get there. We can gamble and make things alot worse for ourselves, or put our all into overcoming this for good. I tried to access online sites only yesterday on the one device in my home that was not protected, my son’s ipad. Before I could do any damage I quickly installed blocking software. We will continue to become stronger, despite the lows we will surely experience, but it can’t be any worse than giving up!! All the best.
Thanks for your comments Claire and I hope today has been a better day for you.
It crosses my mind all the time, I do think maybe just another try, a small amount.. it’s just there in my mind and always around me. The little things are irritating me, like watching TV and seeing adverts, it’s amazing how much you never notice these things when you’re ‘in the trap’ but it’s in everyone’s faces, every single day!
I do snap myself out of those thoughts though, which is a good sign I guess.
Well done on blocking the iPad. We’ve both resisted easy opportunities and that is something to acknowledge and be proud of.
Keep up the hard work,
Sjr
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