Hi everybody,
First of all, i'm so sorry if my english is not perfect, im not from UK
Well, more than one year ago I arrived at London and i started to work in a restaurant where I met my boyfriend. Everything was great until one day, I realised about his problem: Gambling.
The worst part: his lies. He prefers lying me (even when i know the truth) rather than admit what he did and believe me, it hurts me. I talked to him and he knows he has a problem.
Even he stole my money to do gambling and his answer always is the same: you can go and leave me alone but i can't, i love him and i want to help him.
Since i control his money, his economy looks better but yesterday, he did again. He had to send money to his country ( for his children ) but instead of this, he prefered to go to WH and spent all the money. Then is when i realised he really needs professional help. I feel really confuse because he is balming me about his problem
I feel sad, i have anxiety and i can't trust him. I know he loves me but his problem is making our relation an authentic disaster
Thanks for reading my story, i'm desperate
Hey there, really sorry to hear about the issues you are having.
As a gambler i can tell you a few things about gamblers. Firstly a addict will blame others and events in their lives for the gambling. Trust me i did, it is only when you take full responsibilty for your actions as a gambler then you can see the underlying issues and look to get help and change. Myself i used to look for any excuse and reason to gamble, because facing up to my actions and trying to fix things was to hard and i used to thing iam broken and no good anyway so there is no point trying. That is just rubbish. Recently i came so close to loseing everything, my flat share,my relationship with the love of my life and other things, but that is when i came clean about everything and began to change myself for the better. If you love him and he loves you i would suggest, firstly self exclusion from betting shops you can do this by filling in a form , self.exclude from.online if he bets on line and the same for casinos if he goes there, secondly monitor money usuage , thirdly get him some help with gamblers annomous and fourthly and this is the big one be able to commuicate and talk with each other about how you both are feeling. I hope this helps, and i wish you both all the best in building your relationship
Welcome to the forum MariaMR there is help and support available for both you and your husband, People with problem gambling sometimes need professional help as you say . Your husband can get funded counselling for 12 sessions he can call our netline at www.gamcare.org.uk or free phone number 08088020133 to get information for his nearest counselling service and if he wants to he can complete a referral with an advisor .
For both of you there are advisors available to talk to form 8am -midnight everyday. You say you feel sad and have anxiety. Being the partner of someone with problem gambling can be stressful for those close to the gambler such as yourself counselling and other support is available for you also Maria . Please call the freephone number or netline for further advice and information if you would like to consider counselling for yourself.
There is also www.gamanon.org this is group support for family and friends of complusive gamblers please see link for information. Please keep posting Maria
Hi Maria
Try and get your partner to attend a GA meeting with you. Being in the same room with simular people who share the same problem should hopefully put things into perspective for him.
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