My problem... (my first post)

Your obviously a compulsive gambler. So in answer to your question about moderation i believe no a return to controlled gambling is not possible.

You also said you dont think you have a problem but yet are prepared to embezzle from work to fund your habit. Seriously you will do something that could send you to prison but still think its not an issue.

Your aim is obviously to stop losing money rather than stop gambling.
Im not judging you. I have done all the things you describe & worse. Read back what you posted & are these the actions of somebody acting rationally or do they read like the acts of an addict.

Run to your nearest GA room.
Arrange professional help.

Take a good look at where this is heading & commit to change

Thanks for the response.

Definitely not. I do agree. But I don't know quite how to get myself out of this hole.

I understand what I have done is wrong..and I need a period of abstinance. What's the easiest way to do this though?

There comes a point, hopefully sooner rather than later when you will realise you need outside help.

the above post is perfect, you need to break the habit.....there is the age old saying "I cannot win because I cannot stop" this is so true. I urge you to speak to your partner, she will already have an idea, I'm sure she will help you, while you still can be helped. You will not win that money back, trust me, just dig a deeper hole. You sound a sensible guy who has just got into a terrible habit, take it a day at a time and right the wrongs.

I gambled purely on them machines for hours daily, I started at once a week, twice, thrice and never looked back, it nearly cost me everything, but trust me you can beat this. I wish you every luck!!!

Hi OTDCW, you're not wrong there! Welcome to recovery 🙂

There is no easy way to abstain but breaking your Time-Money-Location triangle will prevent you from being able to gamble! I came looking for help to control my gambling & was horrified to realise that a) I really did have a problem & perhaps more shockingly b) as a CG there is no such thing as controlling it - I cannot win because I cannot stop.

I had tried willpower & self exclusion (you need 2 passport photos) on it's own, just wasting more time & petrol going further afield to throw my money away. On realising I had to stop, I turned over my finances to a very supportive, if somewhat naive, partner & read, read, read. I have not looked back. I accept that I am one of the lucky ones, I have read enough diaries to know that my journey has been relatively straightforward One Day At A Time, I say "today I choose 'No'!"

If you don't arrest this now, you will lose everything. Phone Gamcare, start a diary, read the site & find the tools that work for you. As my good friend Ade2 pointed out very recently 'recovery is possible' - ODAAT

Guys,

Thanks for all the advice and offering. I've never actually spoken thoroughly to anyone about this as I find it embarrassing. Waking up this morning to see others have been the same is like an acceptance for me.

Today is the first day I have not gambled or even had the urge to.

Long may it continue.

OTDCW

X

I agree, It is embarrassing at first, well feels that way, I found the "great" thing about this forum is you can connect with so many people, they just understand it, as ODAAT said to me at the start of my recovery , it can feel embarrassing, but not as embarrassing as walking out the bookies after wasting another load of money........I read peoples posts and prayed I could get to the four months I have, I now aim for the year, you can do exactly the same, I urge you to speak to your missus and build on your first day, make it your own challenge to get on top of this....life without gambling is so much better!!!

Well I'm now into 2 days without doing so...baby steps if anything but hopefully its the beginning of the end for that dreaded obsession. Hopefully one day I'll be able to talk of my months, years of non gambling and be able to offer words of wisdom to anyone who comes searching.

I still haven't told the missus. I just let her know I'm going to change a few things! Starting with hopefully taking her out to some fancy doo-dah restaurant. I seem to moan about how expensive these places are but not consider I lose many times more that on a single spin!

Thanks for your advice guys.

OTDCW

X

I think that's one thing a lot of us have in common for some strange reason, noticing and complaining about how expensive things are and penny pinching on the simplest of things.......but thinking nothing of blowing large amounts in a short spell, unfortunately this addiction is no cheap date!!! I remember being exactly the same at the start, I was constantly belittling myself only being a few days in and comparing myself to the "veterans" but one day turned into two, two into four, then a week, then two......it's amazing how quickly time flies!! And it gets gradually easier!! I am having a bad spell at the moment and am a bit unnaproachable at home, this has been my biggest test, maybe a bit of complacency, I used these first four months to exclude myself, put things in place etc (I also didn't telly my missus until I felt I was in "control" of the situation) and maybe now the dust has settled a bit and life is more "normal" I feel "safe".....but I have the tools in place to beat this spell, and will.

you can and will beat this, fancy restraunt is a good one, I personally also at the end of every week/month buy myself/the family something, or go out for the day, just so I know what my non-gambling can fund.

Day three tomorrow fella, keep it up!! And keep going to put back that £700 that you "borrowed" please make that your first mission, draw a line under that, will be a weight gone!!

...........

Hi Guys,

It has been an eventful few weeks. I managed no more than 5 days without a bet.

Unfortunately this game to an abrupt end and has cost me a considerable amount of money today.

I did everything else I said I'd do except not frikkin bet!

I'm so so angry in myself, I wish I could just give myself a slap!!!

Hi,

I have to be honest... Right from the first post when you said " I genuinely do not want to not gamble at all.В " I had my doubts at how you would get on.

Im currently on 192 days after being an active gambler for 18 years. I never genuinely wanted to stop during thoose years. My addiction had be brainwashed into thinking it was great. The buzzes were a big part of the addiction but deep down I knew I was being controlled by my emotions / avoiding problems in my 'normal' life.

Im afraid that until you reach rock bottom and truly WANT to stop I cant imagine that you will keep away from it all.

I attemped to quit just FOBT's at first. It worked for 8 months from joining last May until xmas. My trigger was spending lots on xmas shopping and thinking how great it would feel to win all that money back in 30 mins.

I lost hundreds instead... that was my rock bottom. I knew I couldnt control my gambling. Knew I couldnt pick and choose ehat I betted on. The fact was if I lost I would chase and if Id won I would always want more which would lead to more losses.

You need to truely want to stop. I hope that time comes sooner for you rather than later.

Mark

Thanks Mark,

The way you define your urges and reasons you gambled are identical to mine. I believe it actually happened, strangely enough, after spending 600 quid at Xmas about 7 yrs ago then winning all plus more back from next to nothing.

Chases and the urge to win more are what I always get caught up in.

OTDCW

Hi, OTDCW,

The CGs on this site all agree that you can break the addiction but you can't break the addiction alone. You need determination plus the right help, one or the other isn't enough.

Try again, but this time do everything that you possibly can to break the time money location triangle. Go to GA, call GamCare get the blocking software and self exclude from as many bookies as you can, take all of these practical steps.

Payday is a huge hurdle, so hand over your finances. This is the hardest to face up to, gambling thrives on secrecy. Stop living the lie. Tell your OH before she finds out the hard way, as I did. This will take a lot of guts but if you really want to stop, you need guts and strength. For me, the lies and dishonesty are less forgivable than the financial losses. There'll be a backlash but the very worst would be for her to find out when you're arrested. Don't let that happen.

It's lot to do but you have made a start by coming on this website. The choices are yours, I hope you make the right ones, take one day at a time and good luck.

Cynical Wife