Hi, it's hard reaching out to strangers for help, but I have come to this because I know help is what I need. I cannot stop Gambling alone, and I really need to use every bit of help at my disposal.
I have been gambling online (slots) for 5+ years. I have lied, I have deceived, I have borrowed money and got myself into all sorts of trouble financially. I have hurt the man I love over and over again, and each time he forgives me. Each time I say I am sorry, that i will try harder. The tears start, the regret and the self loathing. I convince him and myself that this time I will stop for good.
I go to my current preferred sites and I self exclude. All the top named sites, I have self excluded from them, I have worked my way through many many bingo/casino sites.
I have a long Betfilter licence on my home PC and on my Laptop.
Yet, I have a wonderful iphone, which will allow me access to other 'new' promising sites. So I join in secret. Play my games. lose my money, then our money, then the rent money and council tax money..... but i carry on to win it back you see. I have not withdrawn any winnings for 14 months, because no matter how much I win. I have this belief it will be more if I carry on and will help me recover my money to pay my bills.
Repeating the same thing over and over again, with the same negative outcome. i know that this is insane. How do you stop??
My efforts have come to nothing. I have had some advice today which I will take and use, but what worries me the most right now is whether I am just doing this because I lost £300 yesterday and I am hurting from that, feeling the sting so to speak.
I know this much. I dont want to lose my husband after 26 years. I am tired of the lies I tell. I am weary of the dread of being 'found out' again. I want to spend my hard earned money on nice things, holidays, my home. I want all the normal things I used to have.
I want to be free of this nightmare, yet I willingly step into it time and time again.
hoping against hope that this time, with this help i will work towards the best part of me and be addiction free.
good luck with your journey , online slots never been my demon but i know what you mean by dragging you in time nad time again i got £300 in my wallet and i need to pass bookies in city center to get home from work so scared im going do it all , like i done time and time again , it a strong addiction but day 1 is a start for everyone , u have to want it and admit defeat that your a CG and can never win as u can never stop
Hi Mamalis,
Welcome to the Forum, and well done for your first post.
It seems you’ve now realised you’ve got to do what it takes to get the necessary help that you need to overcome your gambling problem. Good effort that you went out of your comfort zone to post here; since you’ve never gone for help from a third party.
I’d like to make you aware that gambling problem is difficult to try and stop it by yourself. Most people need professional help to overcome their problematic gambling, and unfortunately, it gets worse if you don’t do anything about it.
I do agree with you that you need to stop the lies, save your marriage of 26years, enjoy the nice things in life with your hard earned money, save yourself from the nightmare, and start to lead a gamble free life again!
All this is doable, Mamalis! Others have been able to overcome their gambling problem by seeking advice from us, and also sticking with these advice.
I suggest that you contact us (Gamcare) now on our free phone Helpline on: 0808 8020 133, and speak to one of our advisers for maximum help and support. We open between the hours of 8.00am to midnight.
We can also refer you to 12 sessions of free counselling, in case you feel that would help you to stop gambling.
Thanks once again for your post, and pls. keep posting.
Best regards,
Beatrice
Thank u. I have already arranged some counselling through GamCare.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
