No more gambling, enough is enough.

Good morning people, 

First of all, I want to say that this forum is amazing, reading stories from other members have inspired me to finally start my journey properly, no more BS. 

I'm 26 years old and have been gambling for the past two years. At first, it was just a few loot boxes in games such as counter-strike, spending no more than £50 a month which I thought was harmless at the time. Then I somehow stumbled upon unregulated crypto and CS:GO gambling websites and that's when I got hooked. Spending around £100 to £300 pounds a month which was all good since I had disposable income at the time but then small stakes weren't interesting anymore. Trouble is, I kept winning a lot which made me think even if I lose it all, I can always win it back by depositing more. But like you all know, it doesn't work that way.

Probably about a year ago I started depositing more and more money to the point where now I have blown my paycheck in the first 48 hours for the past half year or more. This had put me in a very dark place financially where I took out multiple loans, credit cards, bank overdraft, etc. and haven't kept up with the payments since I'd be blowing all the money away within a day or so from getting paid. Because of that, I had to rely on my partner to provide which is not just embarrassing, it's just beyond low. 

I have been trying to quit gambling for quite a few months now, unfortunately I didn't seek help thinking I can do this on my own and here I am, blown my very recent paycheck in less than 12 hours, about £15000 in debt and haven't kept up with any of my priority bills after setting up payment plans in place last month. I have come clean to my partner a few months ago, have promised to stop and get everything sorted but that didn't last long.

Having to come clean about my relapse to my partner last night has made me realise enough is enough. Not only I put myself and my finances to a bad situation but it now has affected our family a lot not only financially but also emotionally. 

I am in process of setting up payment plans once again, I have self excluded myself permanently from the only online casino I gambled on for the past year and I only gambled on their original roulette as slots and other games do not interest me so hopefully no more relapses. I am also looking into gambling blocking softwares to put these in place just in case so any recommendations would be much appreciated. I know I have a problem with gambling, I would consider myself a compulsive problem gambler and I'm on a journey to finally beat this disgusting habit. 

Sorry for waffling too much, there's probably a bit I left out but majority is there. 

I wish you all good luck on your journey, we can beat this together. 

Kind Regards, 

A.