Realising i've started to lose control

Hi silky,

Thank you for sharing your story.

I had a similar progression with my gambling in regards from sports to slots and I personally believe that once the gambling progresses from low intensity gambling to high intensity slot playing (quick constant dopamine hits) then it is unlikely that you will stay away from the slots because you will be craving that intensity that your body has been accustomed to. It's like the alcoholic that started off on a few cans of carling 15yrs ago but has recently been hammering the vodka and now thinks that the carling will be enough without lapsing back on to the vodka again. 

It's easy to be deluded by the gambling that says "if I do this and stay away from that then I will be in control". 

I went through many years of trying to control my gambling with many great plans because I wasn't ready to wave the white flag and accept no action is possible without disasters following. 

I can only advise you based on my experience but if you want the true answer then try your plan and see what happens.

Kind regards 

Hi Silky

Every addiction is about trying to numb mental / emotional pain.  Therefore, to recover from addiction you have  to heal the pain.

You can heal the pain by making sure you eat healthily, sleep well, have a clean and tidy home, walk in the park, feed the ducks, go to church, do a college course, join a gym, go on a train or bus journey, do yoga, meditate, adult colouring, do a jigsaw, have a sauna, swim, go to the pub, have a nice meal at a cafe, forgive, meet friends  etc. etc.

Good luck.

Hi

I started gambling in my teens.

I was escaping in my fears and boredom even froms uch an early age.

There were some very unhealthy people in the early times in my child hood.

Getting drunk and gambling were just the indicators there was a lack of emotional intimacy.

People use to put on a false face to hide their pains and fears in those days.

It is very sad that cheering racing and their home their horse seemed to be the onl way they felt succesful in them self.

In my teen years gambling seemed to be my only focus.

Nothing in my life seemed very exciting to me.

Gambling was an escape, the bigger the bets the bigger the buzz, which was very much fear based.

I thought that I would be the very last person on this planet to give up gambling.

Once I abstained from gambling I thought that I had cracked it.

Not so when I abstained from unhealthy habits it was a time ehaling could happen for me.

It was also a time when I could reduce my fears, build my confidence.

Being consumed in my unhealthy habit meant I had less time for intimacy and healthy raltionships.

You have decided to try and take action and get out of this unhealthy habit will save your self a lot of pains and suffering.

Yes losing control can happen so quickly and it follows high levels of adrenaline.

Being in meetings no matter when your last bet was is very important.

One is abale to see how much more we get from our life with out gambling.

It is very important to exchange unhealthy habits in to healthy habits.

Or else boredom can be very testing. 

I needed to write down my needs, write down my wants, and write down my new found goals.

Being in recovery and working at it helps us get more out of our life.

Love and peace to everyone

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham UK

Thanks for sharing. Lots of good advice already in response to your post. 

I personally think you are on a slippery slope. I once too said I rarely go in shops.

Until it became so much I even debated whether to take my 3 year old daughter into a bookies and googled whether it could be done as I was compulsively chasing £15k loss one weekend. Of course; I didn’t but the fact I googled such a horrendous thing signals how much of a problem I got from it just starting quite small and online.

Anyway; back to you, I think get the help now whilst you can, reach out to GamCare on the phone and tell them you might be addicted and ask for counselling. That’s my advice, it saved me from further misery and whilst I got debts to show my past suffering, I am on the way to a better life and will be debt free and gamble free for 4 years when they are over. Future is bright if you make it! 

Thanks for your responses guys, I appreciate the feedback and advice. 

I spoke with someone on the gamcare live chat and they had suggested taking a timeout from the bookmaker websites I use which I have activated. They also suggested the idea of going into the shops and only taking what I intend to spend for placing the bets on sports. Maybe they suggested this as i don't feel ready to give up sports betting and at least its a step in the right direction? 

I'm taking some time away from gambling for the time being anyway just to monitor my feelings and moods. Spend more time with my family and give them the attention they deserve ❤️ 

@silky Well done on recognising the issue and taking a break. I don't think there's a one size fits all approach but as others have said I would be careful continuing to gamble in any way if you do feel like you're losing control. I can definitely relate, my addiction is with slots and I went through a phase of telling myself I was just going to do matched betting (I'd never had any issues with this). Whilst I was matched betting I still stayed in control with that aspect of it, but ultimately whenever I won money from it that would then lead to me justifying spending those winnings on slots (as it wasn't technically 'my money'). It's very tempting (especially if you've won money from sports betting) to go back to what gives you that rush. Not to tell you what to do, but from my experience I've found things a lot easier since just cutting out all forms of gambling. Good luck! 

Hi, firstly well done for realising you have a problem before it gets too deep seated. From reading the posts there is plenty of good advice to think about. What I would add is if you want to continue in the bookies by taking cash in, contact your bank and get them to put a block on gambling transactions from your debit card. This way if you lose all the cash you won't be tempted to use the card as well.

Blocking for 6 weeks and seeing how you feel may help. As a warning, I used to block myself from sites for a month at a time but found I would just be counting the days until I could gamble again getting deeper in debt. If you start to feel like this the only way to stop is to sign up to Gamstop for max of 5 years and put a blocker on your phone to deny access to the sites.

Just my thoughts, hope it goes well

All the best

@cerrry93 

Reading that resonates with me so much. I would get a win on the horses and instead of withdrawing like I usually would I started seeing it as money I could use on slots which rarely ended well. I also would deposit for a football bet or whatever and then kid myself I would play a small amount on slots and before I knew it I've chased and lost it all.

@bladesman 

Put a block on my card the same day after starting this thread and already it has come in useful ?

I've gone on the casino websites I've used and excluded for 5 years as could feel the temptation creeping in at times. The regular bookmakers I've just took a break for 6 weeks but I will be going on to extend that before the end.