Resigned to failure

Hi

It looks like you are in a very dark place at the moment. I hope you are able to get some great support from others who read your post. You might consider contacting the National Gambling Helpline for help and support. You would receive a listening, non-judgemental ear and maybe some good thoughts and strategies too. There is always hope and people do get themselves to a better permanent place. I wish you all the best in your continued recovery.

Best wishes

Kevin

Forum Admin

@jbug81 i felt exactly this way myself Jbug. I had 20 years of hellish gambling and then being adamant that I would quit only to gamble my wages later that days.

I too resigned myself to always being trapped gambling.  I was happiest when gambling until the payback of anxiety and desolation with the losses.

I have now gone over 100 days GF.  I don't have any cravings to gamble however it is always potentially there to rear it's ugly head when I least expect.

You can beat it.  But you have to really want to and then implement all the advice in recovery.

Block gambling transactions and self exclude with all casinos.  Hand your finances to a trusted person if you can.  Get counciling.  Problem gambling is a Mental health issue and needs treating as such.

Thanks everyone for the kind comments and well done for being gamble free 100 days I wish you well on the journey

It's been 25 years for me, I have been gamble free at time for months, if not a year at a time during this period. And through counselling, and family, and medications, and everything else in between.

It always ends the same way, no matter how much hope and optimism I have had during the countless times in the past. So many many many relapses, I can't keep picking myself up again.

Even though im gamble free day 1 today, I know how this will end. It's a matter of when, not if, for my next relapse and the next time in crying curled up to sleep devestated. It could be 10 days from now or 300 days from now. This time I have given up. It's coming for me over and over and over again. No escape.

Hey ‘Jbug’! Please please believe in your willpower! You can do this, I felt the same.. felt like there was no other but to gamble. Something changed, I wanted to fight and wanted to go back to how I was before gambling took over me. I am only a few days into this journey but I more determined than ever, to fight. You can do this! Relapse is part of the journey, if that happens just remember this fight can only be won with pure determination and courage. Life is for the go get! Let’s go and build a life without this nasty habit. Hope this is helpful. We’ve got this! 

Everyone in here has been in this situation. You are not alone. Beating any addiction is tough, but thousands of people manage. There is plenty stories of people in here who have hit rock bottom and then kept digging. This might be your rock bottom. Sometimes you need to hit that before you can climb out. 

You can do this, there is support. Take the advice offered by GamCare. It really is good. If you can manage a few days as previously, you can build on it. Gambling is our lives when we are addicted. You can learn to change that. 

Please read everything in here. You will find so many stories that are the same as yours. You can change, but it’s all down to you. A huge bit of effort in the early days, but if you want a happy gamble free life, it’s so worth it.

Stay strong 💪 

Thanks all, I appreciate the love and optimism. Please forgive me for losing that hope I once had . I know I'll be gamble free and happy for a while and everything will seem like the distant past...And then I know I'll be back where I am, like a recurring nightmare.

I'm at least 20 relapses deep over 25 years. I might as well put a painting on the wall and get used to this place.

Watch your words for those become your thoughts, watch your thoughts for those become your actions.

If you keep saying to yourself that you will relapse, sure enough you will relapse. Don't be just gamble free, be in recovery, respect recovery as it takes time, it is a marathon. Try and better yourself, try and make changes in your life. Everyone in here in the same boat, count on it, we/I want the best for you, but it's down to you what you make of your life and please, remember you have only got one. 

Don't give up, that's an injustice to yourself.

My best wishes,

Ergos 

Amazing advice, let’s do this! I feel exactly the same sometimes but this time something has changed in me, I feel like I can do this.. after reading so much about everyone’s stories it has a  given me the strength. 
I was feeling very low last night, but I managed to shake the feeling and pick myself up. 🙏🏼🤺 keep fighting people, we have totally got this! X