Rock bottom.

Thanks mate ! I got the book from Amazon.

Keep in touch, stronger together ! Good luck

So today is a week, I'm so pleased. Not only no betting, but the fact I haven't thought about a bet in the slightest.

My ex's Dad rang me, he was also very nice. He told me that when his son went to prison, he went into a spiral of gambling, it was his release from the real world, he had to re-mortgage his house ! I've been aware of this since I been with her but now obviously can clearly see we both have buried our heads in the sand about the topic and both have done similar things.

My question is in your opinion does this help or hinder my chances with my ex ?

One the one hand she must be thinking she doesn't want to go through life like her Mum has had to with money struggles and stresses.

On the other hand surely the are the best most qualified people in the world to explain what I've been going through and how it's not been the real me with her and that I will recover, forgive and move forward.

Who knows, for now I can't wait to get to the bigger milestones, 7 days and counting, roll on 100. I will beat this, thanks for reading and good luck to everyone.

Andrew

In my opinion your ex and yourself are both very vulnerable at the moment. She is fragile now because of what she has been through with her brother and sounds naturally wary of history repeating itself with you. You both have important personal issues you need to come to terms with and sometimes it is better to give each other space to do this in order to think more clearly. You are doing so well at the moment and it is great that ex-dad has got in touch with you and is being supportive so you are not completely isolated from her family. When she sees what a great effort you are making to sort your problem she may feel happpier about getting in touch again. But for the moment your focus must be on yourself and your targets for getting your life back on track without any distractions. As I have said before this is a measure that was taken in our case and although it is hard thing to do it is worthwhile in the end.

I think your positivity is having a good effect on others posting on here.

Hi Andrew. Well done mate, you're giving yourself a platform to build on. I haven't laid hands on that book yet but the reviews said there's a mind trick involved. Could you offer any enlightenment to that ? Kind regards, Fred.

Hi gamparentanon, Yes your'e right, thanks. I will just continue the way I'm going and let time heal.

Fred - Yes it is mainly physcology. He himself went from 180 cigarettes a day to zero overnight, and he applies his theories of how he broke the addiction instantly into gambling. It's 238 pages. The first 150 or so he builds up and up and up very slowly that gambling isn't a genuine pleasure or crutch. He says the willpower method fails because to use willpower we feel we are giving something up, so we are depriving ourselves of gambling. Using willpower is like pushing a closed door against the hinges, we might budge it a little, but it won't open. He gets to you believe that as it isn't a genuine pleasure we aren't deprived so we can walk away. Lots of very interesting diagrams in there so show how our mind works. Main one being a venus fly trap. Picture yourself as the fly in the trap, gambling is our sweet lovely amber nectar, but it's only going one way, down to the pit and destruction, but we are human, we can just walk away. The last 80 pages or so he gets you feeling great to make the vow to never gamble again, there no such thing as one harmless bet etc. not to be scared of the odd urge coming back, just embrace it, let it pass, and feel great once it leaves your mind and you've stayed gamble free. We can't think 'must not gamble' cause then it will be all we think about. Main point is we have chosen to start enjoy life as a non-gambler, to start enjoying the real pleasures in life, we are free from the enslavement of gambling, we aren't depriving ourselves of anything, we are free.

Hope this helps, would still recommend reading it as that probably sounds a bit lame at the moment but once you read it properly cover to cover it does re-programme your mind, good luck mate we can do this.

Hi Andrew.
On the contrary, it doesn't sound lame at all, just makes perfect sense. I reckon your concise synopsis has saved the cost of the book - did I mention I was Scottish ? Kind regards, Fred.

Great thread Andrew and congratulations on remaining bet free.

The relationship stuff strikes a chord with me. I'm sure when I was dealing with the aftermath of a big loss, I was distant and not my usual self and this was reflected in the state of my relationship over the last three years or so... (I should mention that unlike you I have not taken the step of sharing my problem with my wife of 17 years).

What I did do though was set myself a target to lose weight through diet and exercise and this has helped to give me something else to think about than gambling. So basically, i thnk you are approaching your issues in a very sensible and measured way.

Keep it going!

Hi Slotless, thanks for your kind words, it's early days but I feel so strong, definitely agree with the exercise targets, I'm sat here thinking it's nearly bed time as I'm getting up at 6am for the gym, rather than thinking what evening racing is on. So far so good not thinking about a bet at all, determined to keep it that way, good luck with your goals too !

So today is Day 10 !

First time in a long time ive done double digits.

Suffering with some fairly strong urges today, a very quiet Saturday in store for me, Wales + England games tonight. But I know how much it means to everyone for me to beat this, and keeping my no gambling streak going by far outweighs any amount I could win on the football. Got some studying to do and going to go for a jog to keep busy. Then try and cheer Wales and England to victory without thinking I shouldve had them in a big double ! It's hard when your so used to backing your teams, but I'm so determined to beat this, and I know in the long run I'm so much better off walking away free from the trap that is gambling.

Have a good day everyone !

Hi Andy,

Just read your opening post. Thanks for the in-depth honest story of your story with our friend "gambling addiction".

Many of us have the some of the same chapters you tell. All in all this terrible addiction wrecks life's and ruins relationship and controls you. Only you can decide when enough is enough and the time to battle along the road to recovery begins. Believe me you need help along this road whether it is a family or close friend or even joining the great fellowship of GA.

Congrats on reaching 10 days. Really good milestone to hit, here's to the next day. One day at a time.

Reaching "Rock Bottom" is bad, probably the low point of anyone's life. Some peopIe question what rock bottom is, but I believe anyone can reach a rock bottom at anytime in all different circumstances, basically it's a personal experience that no one should ever question. So I hit rock bottom the day of my last bet, it wasn't a nice place I was in for nearly a week until I came clean with my wife. Now I'm glad that happened and I started my recovery.

Will keep reading your post, wishing you all the best.

Shep.

Hi Shep, thanks for your post. Yes totally agree that I need help along the way. My mum knows my bank balance and I've said she can ask to see it anytime, so I know I can't gamble. If for whatever reason I don't feel as strong as I do know I will look into GA. But I feel determined at the moment, if I can get past the Euros and Royal Ascot, my two favourites things I'd bet on, I know it will only get easier. Roll on July and bigger milestones 🙂

All the best to you too !

Andrew, havn't been on in a while as been on holiday, came straight back to your post to see how you were getting on, you've been through it all by the sounds, but feel so happy for you that you took the right steps, out of all the stories on here its great to see someone who actually takes evasive action instead of just posting because they lost money, i hope many new and exciting doors open for you and your new chapter is a happy one for you, if you're ever feeling low or like you fancy going back to it, please read through these comments from the top, don't let time take away the anger and hatred you have for something thats contributed to all this. Go get um' mate.

Hi dontchase, thanks a lot mate, really appreciate the support !, I have indeed just read through the whole thread, I watched all 3 favs win the Euro games today and was thinking I've missed out, then quickly come to realise I'm so much better off avoiding it, re-reading my posts remembering what state I was in, no win could ever reverse all those feelings, I am never going to have a bet again. I want to copy your success story, time flies I know I can be on 50+ days before I know it, cant wait ! feeling strong and ready for a busy week at work. How was your holiday ?

good stuff mate, i used to do that, think 'i fancy this', but it doesn't matter, if all the other times you'de said i fancy these had come in then you wouldn't be on here, but they don't, they just draw, you back in and then your back chasing again. Everytime you think of placing a bet and dont then you win. Holiday was great thanks, back to the grind this morning but still got a few new and exciting things coming up in the next few weeks so still counting down to those, good things come with time, effort and the desire to make something better for yourself, you'll see.

nice one mate ! very true. I'm starting to realise the real value of money, even after two weeks, done some shopping, had two meals out, went to an osteopath yesterday - £46 to treat a chest injury which has been holding me back from training for months, and the bank balance has gone down so very little ! it's a nice feeling that I want to continue. Got a decent wage coming at the end of the month, where I've worked so hard to recoup past losses, I'm going to transfer 50-75% of it to the isa, maybe the odd treat, and carry on this process, feeling strong !