rock bottom

Hi all,

First time i've posted on here, i tend to never write anything on the internet but i felt i needed to express what im going through. I was one of the lucky ones i guess, i got into bitcoin at the right time and made a nice amount of money from them, during the mania phase. Everything looked bright and peachy from there on out then but my partner needed to undergo a surgical procedure and wouldnt be able to look after our son till she recovered which meant i had to give up my job.

With all the free time on my hands and money to burn i started gambling from doing match betting, trying to recoup my 'qualifying losses' on red black spins on roulette, was only a couple of quid here and there to cover my matched bets, however i soon realised i was making more doing this which lead my on a downward slope to where i am now. My partner now knows and told me to get help, she doesnt deserve to go through this, its been very hard on her since our 3 year old was diagnosed with autism and can be difficult to manage and takes two people to look after. Everytime i look into my sons eyes i burst into tears i cant help it i feel i've taken away from his future which is going to be difficult enough without me compounding to it. Ive put blocks into place to stop me from gambling but the sadness remains there, i dont care about the gambling i care about what i have done to my family, I cant believe how stupid i have been i was telling myself the whole time you're going to lose a lot in the end, but i never listened to myself