Showboat bookies

Hi kms,

Although you feel disapointed in yourself right now I think you are due a massive amount of praise for abstaining for all of the months you did between January and July. That is a seriously admirable breakthrough and one that shouldn't be forgotten or made to feel invalid just because you have had a bit of a relapse. You have had a taste of what it feels like to be more in control and not an endless slave to the addiction and I hope that overall it felt good enough to be a strong encouragement to jump back on that horse again.

You say that you are now in control of your debts and are earning enough to (I assume) lead a reasonably finanacially balanced life if gambling is taken out of the equasion. This is a really positive thing as you have made real inroads to not be left with huge financial consequences to deal with after this recent slip. I'm sure I don't need to tell you (but will, just for re-enforcement) that continuing to gamble, whether at high or low stakes, could change this financially positive scenario into a negative one within the blink of an eye. You've done really well in both abstaining and also in reaching out for support at such an early stage in your relapse (with manageable losses) so I hope that however bad you feel about things that you can see just how much improvement you've already made and that you really do have the power to move things back in the right direction.

Losing 700 is by no means nice, but it has gone. You'll know from previous experience that it isn't coming back and that the worst thing you do is try to win it back because you might just suceed, which would only lead to keeping the gateway open to lose it all again plus much, much more. I don't know anybody who has successfully given up gambling after a win. It's probably best to not view that 700 as money any more, mulling over what you could have done with it will only lead you to feel entitled to get it back.

It can instaed be your final fee to gambling to allow you to walk away. If you manage to do that and get back to a gambling free life it will be more than worth it.

Can I ask a couple of questions, obviously you do not have to answer.

When you were abstaining, what were you using as your motivation and did you put any kind of safeguards in place? (self exclusion, assistance with managing money etc)

Have you had any kind of broader support in tackling the problem and how do you personally feel about that sort of thing? (Counselling, G.P, family/friend support etc)

Anyway, you are absolutely right that there should be A LOT more regulation/restriction on many (if not all) forms of gambling but sadly i don't think that is going to happen any time soon and certainly never in such a way to keep those who are determined to keep placing bets away. So that leaves us as individuals to take the initiative ourselves (hopefully with the help and support of others).

Compulsive gambling is very little to do with money, if it were then we'd all be rich instead of lamenting our losses, it's a tool we use to avoid or escape from whatever it is about our lives that we feel isn't clicking so when you say "it is will power and making the changes in your life will reduce the risk of needing to gamble" you've absolutely hit the nail on the head!!

I have every faith that you can get to the bottom of things and get back to a gamble free life and keep that going indefinately. It takes a heck of a lot of hard work, more than a pinch of soul searching and (to make things easier) a good whack of support but it's completely doable. The reward of actually having a normal life that isn't governed by the extreme (pretty much exclusively negative) emotions and chaos that gambling brings is a prize greater than any casino or bookie could ever give.

Keep on reading the forum and perhaps thinking about what kinds of extra support might be of use to you and keep posting if you feel it helps. We're all here because we're trying to get onto the same path and help eachother to do the same.

Stay positive

All the best

Ian.

Hi Ian many thanks for taking the time to respond I am very grateful you have taken so much time. I stopped going to the casinos since jean this year the only think I have done is cancelled my membership and stayed strong to keep away, I manage most of the time but occasionally I get the urges that brings me back to gambling, I gamble in bookies or slots shops, I have excluded my self from showboat and the bookie manager knows that I have previously excluded myself, today I have been to Windsor Races and bet on a few races only a few quid but it been a night out and I have enjoyed the evening not feeling bad at all. My main problem is slots and FOBT like now I feel positive that I have not gambled and I know if I gamble any more I will be in financial trouble with bills. What you have said in your response is very accurate if I had won I would continue gambling and would probably lost more. As said earlier I only gamble when I am bored I have tried so many different thinks but when I am alone I sit on a machine losing money and then feel sick, the times which I won I had spent the money on luxury items but that's not the point, I have very few interest other than gambling and I use this to escape from a highly pressured job which doesn't pay great, I love my family very much and will spend on my children what they need, I feel so upset and diss pointed when I lose money I feel and think what I could I paid for children and this make me cry. Over the years I may have lost up 40k over 20 years but some people may think this is fine as some people lose money on cars holidays business etc. But your advice is very good and I will read it more detail and take on board what you have said. Ian what's your reason for being on this site, you don't have to share if you don't wish, thanks SK

Pecan any one give further advice Ian has been excellent