Hi hardly27. I’m in a similar position to you. I’m 25 been gambling for around 4/5 years now and had a really good stretch of getting my life together and had savings of £1000. Lately split up with my ex and lost it all and currently have £0. I self excluded from everything last night and also signed up to Gamstop not sure how effective it is but heard about it last night and jumped at the chance! Also asked my phone provider to start blocking phone transactions as I’d started doing that. 12 hours gamble free I’ve done it before I’ll do it again. We can get through this together 🙂 I feel so badly like I could just fall apart right now but instead I’m fighting every fibre of those thoughts and focusing on the fact that I’ve made al the right steps in moving forward gamble free :). X
LoveBug23 wrote: Chances are it will not. I remember telling my friend half heartedly a yr or so ago. Laughing off how bad I was and how I was going to change. Decided she would give it a bash lost £10 and couldn't deal with it. That was the end of her gambling. If only I had the same restraint. d**n it. We can't beat ourselves up about it though just have to draw a line accept what has happened and what we have lost and look forward. Every day is a new day gf 😉
I have no self control that is my major issue! If only I'd ever lost 10 pounds too I wouldn't be where I am now. But like you said we can not dwell on the past only try and improve the way we have been living. I've spoken to my friend this morning and she's been completely understanding and said she's sorry for coming across as selfish but it wasn't her intention. I completely understood and said it wasn't selfishness persay just not really thinking of how it may effect me but she's been super supportive during everything I'm so greatful to have such a wonderful support network x
GirlJ wrote:
Hi hardly27. I’m in a similar position to you. I’m 25 been gambling for around 4/5 years now and had a really good stretch of getting my life together and had savings of £1000. Lately split up with my ex and lost it all and currently have £0. I self excluded from everything last night and also signed up to Gamstop not sure how effective it is but heard about it last night and jumped at the chance! Also asked my phone provider to start blocking phone transactions as I’d started doing that. 12 hours gamble free I’ve done it before I’ll do it again. We can get through this together 🙂 I feel so badly like I could just fall apart right now but instead I’m fighting every fibre of those thoughts and focusing on the fact that I’ve made al the right steps in moving forward gamble free :). X
Hi girlJ
Thanks for reading my thread!
Massive praise for you getting through those first few hours it's a huge achievement and you should be very proud of yourself. We can not think about what we've lost only how we can improve from where we are now. You have to draw a line and move up from here.
You are doing everything right like the blocking software and contacting your phone provider. Well done you honestly you are doing great. That 12 hours will soon be 12 days then 12 months ect. We can do this through support and cutting ourselves off from those online demons. Admitting it is the first step so you've come so far already x
Thanks Hardly I’m sorry I forgot to congratulate you on gf time so far. You’re right. Every hour, minute, second GF is something we should be proud of. I will only feel properly happy with my efforts when I have money in my account and then I don’t gamble. As although I’ve put all the things in place to block, I don’t have the money anyway so it is almost by default at the moment. I’ve had no urges today as I’m in the ‘sick of myself, sick of gambling’ phase at the moment. There is more to life and we deserve so much more than to waste away mindlessly pressing buttons on a computer screen watching numbers rise and fall. And of course they always fall as we don’t stop. Here to a happy positive gamble free weekend. Hope you have a good one. While I’m here does anybody know any free iPhone gam blocks I can put in place please? Many thanks. Xx
I've made it to the end of day 2! Not even attempted to get on a site to gamble. Not that I can anyway because I have no money control of my account as my partner has taken it all. Rightly so. I dont feel any better or any worse than I did before i stopped gambling but I'm sure that will come in time.
In reply to your comment girl thank you for praising my efforts it means a lot it's hard but hopefully it will get easier as time goes along . Although im not in denile i truly believe i will always have those voices trying to convince me to gamble just 10 pounds but i wont!
I feel exactly the same as you I have minus figures at the moment so can't see any positives other than I don't have more debt to try handle at the end of another day.
In regards to blocking software
I have used GAMSTOP as a lot of others on the site have. it's a wonderful self exclusion site that is available to use if you're from the UK it's put a block on all the sites I was registered on including any sister sites I did it yesterday and can honestly say it has worked and seems to be active for the 5 year term I've set it up for. It's a hard step to take knowing you will never be able to wither away your money on boring days but we are all here for the same reason. We are at rock bottom and trying to pull ourselves up and if 100% self exclusion is going to help me then so be it I can't do this any more I want to be set free from this horrible addiction and get me back x
Yes I’m at the end of first day gamble free and also feel no better or worse. Just happy that I’ve made steps that I won’t gsmble. I’ve signed upto the gamstop first thing after self excluding last night too. I haven’t wanted to try to log in to any to test if it’s worked but I will give it a go in a second as I have no money anyway and will be thrilled if it’s active and blocking them already. Have a great gamble free weekend x
Hi Hardly27.
Recovery should not be seen as the scary part of this. The scary part was when we were like zombies feeding money into the damned things and risking everything
The scary part was not realising an addiction had us in its full grip. I didnt understand the addiction when I was gambling and I completely ignored the odds. Time and time again I gambled to extinction as if it was my aim to lose everything. Win or lose I didnt care as I was playing. I certainly cared when I was walking home with dark thoughts....I desperately cared about the money when faced with a spoonful of cheap mayonaise and nothing left to pawn. Thats how absolutely dangerous the addiction is
You see we would have lost the ten pounds or what we went in with. As compulsive addicted gamblers that would not have been our stopping point nobody like losing and the dopamine is flowing. What we were playing for would not have filled our souls and it was never enough. The odds on the top prize are thousands to one on a machine and the RTP percentage means nothing per session.
It was a self destruct button because I couldnt face the real issues in my life. I have been deluding myself for forty years and that all comes out in counselling or talking it through properly. Forty years I have been running from life and gambling was what I ran to. I cant really call it escape because it just left a trail of destruction. The addicted mind does not and will not see gambling clearly.
Being gamble free is a much better feeling as the mind heals. Im not saying life becomes euphoric every day but you can focus on why you were putting off joing things and hobbies. Life needs to be faced while gamble free
I do see it as a born again moment because you have to throw everything into a new you. There is no room for half measures and the addiction needs to be feared and treated with the respect it deserves. Its complex and much of it was within me as a person. I had all the excuses why life was boring without gambling but they were false excuses.
Stress, anxiety and depression were major triggers but all gambling did was drag me down further. The gambling dens know its a tax on the bored, poor and hopeless. Its a shot in the vein for the desperate and disenfranchised. It also affects well paid footballers and top lawyers so its a nasty and complex addiction
When you have something better to do with a healthy mind (and there is always something better to do) gambling will fade from your life. It does need the proper support and blocks. Gamstop has been a long time coming but is very welcome. Its not just that though...you need a new pride in your life while telling the gambling dens that you want nothing to do with them
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Joydivider wrote:
Hi Hardly27.
Recovery should not be seen as the scary part of this. The scary part was when we were like zombies feeding money into the damned things and risking everything
The scary part was not realising an addiction had us in its full grip. I didnt understand the addiction when I was gambling and I completely ignored the odds. Time and time again I gambled to extinction as if it was my aim to lose everything. Win or lose I didnt care as I was playing. I certainly cared when I was walking home with dark thoughts....I desperately cared about the money when faced with a spoonful of cheap mayonaise and nothing left to pawn. Thats how absolutely dangerous the addiction is
You see we would have lost the ten pounds or what we went in with. As compulsive addicted gamblers that would not have been our stopping point nobody like losing and the dopamine is flowing. What we were playing for would not have filled our souls and it was never enough. The odds on the top prize are thousands to one on a machine and the RTP percentage means nothing per session.
It was a self destruct button because I couldnt face the real issues in my life. I have been deluding myself for forty years and that all comes out in counselling or talking it through properly. Forty years I have been running from life and gambling was what I ran to. I cant really call it escape because it just left a trail of destruction. The addicted mind does not and will not see gambling clearly.
Being gamble free is a much better feeling as the mind heals. Im not saying life becomes euphoric every day but you can focus on why you were putting off joing things and hobbies. Life needs to be faced while gamble free
I do see it as a born again moment because you have to throw everything into a new you. There is no room for half measures and the addiction needs to be feared and treated with the respect it deserves. Its complex and much of it was within me as a person. I had all the excuses why life was boring without gambling but they were false excuses.
Stress, anxiety and depression were major triggers but all gambling did was drag me down further. The gambling dens know its a tax on the bored, poor and hopeless. Its a shot in the vein for the desperate and disenfranchised. It also affects well paid footballers and top lawyers so its a nasty and complex addiction
When you have something better to do with a healthy mind (and there is always something better to do) gambling will fade from your life. It does need the proper support and blocks. Gamstop has been a long time coming but is very welcome. Its not just that though...you need a new pride in your life while telling the gambling dens that you want nothing to do with them
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
What a great post. So insightful and I couldn't agree more with what you've said it was an escape from a "boring" life I had nothing better to do and it became my kryptonite I'm thankful after 6 years I've realised the destruction it causes as it could have gone on much longer. For that I'm thankful I don't fear the escape I fear the problems I now have to face which I've ignored because I was sure I could resolve them by just one more win... it never came. Thanks for reading and leaving such an insightful comment on my post best wishes to you on your journey and recovery x
I've made it to then end of day 3. Today I've been out to a family birthday party which I would have made any excuse to not go to before as I couldn't face everyone knowing they were happy and I was miserable. A selfish view as by just sitting and being involved in convosations I've found that I'm not alone we all have our own problems but I was too wrapped up in my own problems to care or think about them. Today has been a massive thing for me as my anxiety also stops me from coersing with people, but strangely it wasn't as bad today. Maybe because I wasn't constantly thinking of the next win or how I wanted to get away to gamble. I sat I talked I listened and best of all I enjoyed myself I already feel like I'm changing as a person even after such a small amount of time
Serious urges tonight. I know I can't get on to the sites but that's making me more frustrated and irritable 🙁 I hate this feeling
Morning hardly27 hope you made it though the night. Have you tried taking on a hobby? I find when I’m not just sat doing nothing i last not gambling. I’m only on day 2 as I relapsed but lasted 9 months last time and I put that down to doing stuff in my spare time, reading, colouring in, sewing. I even tried to learn to crochet but that went badly and just made me angry lol
Good luck and stay strong
Plumdoll
Plumdoll wrote:
Morning hardly27 hope you made it though the night. Have you tried taking on a hobby? I find when I’m not just sat doing nothing i last not gambling. I’m only on day 2 as I relapsed but lasted 9 months last time and I put that down to doing stuff in my spare time, reading, colouring in, sewing. I even tried to learn to crochet but that went badly and just made me angry lol
Good luck and stay strong
Plumdoll
Thanks plum I've made it to day four and resisted thus far I'm still trying to think of things to keep me busy so far ive just been playing games on my phone but I feel like I need some more excitement. Hard at the minute as I have no money at all but trying to think positively as I might have lost my money but I'm trying to build up again from scratch thanks for replying x
If you like reading I’ve found a site called bookbub they send you regular updates of cheap and free books available on different platforms. I had lots of free reads off there x
I love reading thanks for the info I'm going to have a look 🙂 xx
I've made it to the end of day four... dont remember the last time I went this long without being on a site. Went shopping with my mum today and she bought me a new outfit and shoes. Such a long time since I've had a physical treat from anywhere it felt great to have something that I could see and feel. In a way I reflected over how bad my mind set had got as a few days ago 10 pounds in my bank felt like nothing and today I found myself looking at the prices on clothes imagining all the stuff I could have got over the years with the money I've dwindelled away on these sites.my full outfit cost under 20 pounds and that felt like a lot to me especially seeing it as cash in hand rather than credits for these online slots and bingo. I've wasted so much of my life and money on a virtual world that I've neglected my home and myself and even my beautiful children (relying on others to buy their clothes and scrimping and scraping by for food) I've been an awful mum and haven't even put my kids before gambling. I'm so glad I went out today as It was a real eye opener
Feeling positive tonight although full of regret and hurt I can't get past this feeling... I hope
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